What exactly is a ‘good sex life’?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an awkward story. I'm a woman. My AP's wife, who I don't know, found some incriminating messages and suspected I was having an affair with her husband. So she sent me a series of texts telling me how strong their marriage is and how great their sex life is.
Um...maybe not, if he's cheating on you? In their case, they were having regular sex, 3x a week, but totally vanilla, no oral, aversion to each other's fluids, no fantasies discussed or lived out, etc. I'm not faulting her, she can't help it if that's her definition of great, but now I take it with a grain of salt every time a betrayed wife says on here that they had a great sex life with their DH and he cheated anyway.

While you will get flamed for your story....I somewhat agree with your premise. I think if you ask a lot of the husbands of the women posting about how great their sex lives are, the men would have a different take. Men are far more kinky and sex-driven but they know if they are still having decent sex 1x a week or still getting a BJ sometimes, they are doing better than most and should keep their mouths shut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an awkward story. I'm a woman. My AP's wife, who I don't know, found some incriminating messages and suspected I was having an affair with her husband. So she sent me a series of texts telling me how strong their marriage is and how great their sex life is.
Um...maybe not, if he's cheating on you? In their case, they were having regular sex, 3x a week, but totally vanilla, no oral, aversion to each other's fluids, no fantasies discussed or lived out, etc. I'm not faulting her, she can't help it if that's her definition of great, but now I take it with a grain of salt every time a betrayed wife says on here that they had a great sex life with their DH and he cheated anyway.

Not sure why I would argue with a woman who would take someone's seconds sigh but here I go anyway.

1. Your AP married a vanilla woman. That's on him. If he wanted a freak he should have picked one. Lots of my guy friends from college did the same-- they wanted a nice wifey to be the suburban mom. I don't know if they are cheating but I wouldn't be surprised for a couple of them.

2. Even if she were vanilla if he communicated in a loving way, started slowly and made her feel safe they could have probably explored some gentle kink. He probably didn't have the patience for that.

3. I am v sex and kink positive woman and have a high drive. I consider giving a BJ part of foreplay- do it 99% of the time. I was married to someone who developed a Virgin/Whore complex(yes he was raised Catholic) once we got married. He became more vanilla esp once we started to talk about kids. So if I was the Madonna of course he needed to go get a Whore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an awkward story. I'm a woman. My AP's wife, who I don't know, found some incriminating messages and suspected I was having an affair with her husband. So she sent me a series of texts telling me how strong their marriage is and how great their sex life is.
Um...maybe not, if he's cheating on you? In their case, they were having regular sex, 3x a week, but totally vanilla, no oral, aversion to each other's fluids, no fantasies discussed or lived out, etc. I'm not faulting her, she can't help it if that's her definition of great, but now I take it with a grain of salt every time a betrayed wife says on here that they had a great sex life with their DH and he cheated anyway.

Well he’s lying to his wife. What makes you think he’s telling you the truth about his sex life? You’re naive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an awkward story. I'm a woman. My AP's wife, who I don't know, found some incriminating messages and suspected I was having an affair with her husband. So she sent me a series of texts telling me how strong their marriage is and how great their sex life is.
Um...maybe not, if he's cheating on you? In their case, they were having regular sex, 3x a week, but totally vanilla, no oral, aversion to each other's fluids, no fantasies discussed or lived out, etc. I'm not faulting her, she can't help it if that's her definition of great, but now I take it with a grain of salt every time a betrayed wife says on here that they had a great sex life with their DH and he cheated anyway.

Well he’s lying to his wife. What makes you think he’s telling you the truth about his sex life? You’re naive.

Now now now let's not take away this woman's ego fuel about thinking she is better than her AP's wife with logic and common sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an awkward story. I'm a woman. My AP's wife, who I don't know, found some incriminating messages and suspected I was having an affair with her husband. So she sent me a series of texts telling me how strong their marriage is and how great their sex life is.
Um...maybe not, if he's cheating on you? In their case, they were having regular sex, 3x a week, but totally vanilla, no oral, aversion to each other's fluids, no fantasies discussed or lived out, etc. I'm not faulting her, she can't help it if that's her definition of great, but now I take it with a grain of salt every time a betrayed wife says on here that they had a great sex life with their DH and he cheated anyway.

Not sure why I would argue with a woman who would take someone's seconds sigh but here I go anyway.

1. Your AP married a vanilla woman. That's on him. If he wanted a freak he should have picked one. Lots of my guy friends from college did the same-- they wanted a nice wifey to be the suburban mom. I don't know if they are cheating but I wouldn't be surprised for a couple of them.

2. Even if she were vanilla if he communicated in a loving way, started slowly and made her feel safe they could have probably explored some gentle kink. He probably didn't have the patience for that.

3. I am v sex and kink positive woman and have a high drive. I consider giving a BJ part of foreplay- do it 99% of the time. I was married to someone who developed a Virgin/Whore complex(yes he was raised Catholic) once we got married. He became more vanilla esp once we started to talk about kids. So if I was the Madonna of course he needed to go get a Whore.

I am not the PP and not defending her, but the phenomenon of women being sexually adventurous during dating and becoming sexually conservative once married is very, very real. Sounds like your husband did it to you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an awkward story. I'm a woman. My AP's wife, who I don't know, found some incriminating messages and suspected I was having an affair with her husband. So she sent me a series of texts telling me how strong their marriage is and how great their sex life is.
Um...maybe not, if he's cheating on you? In their case, they were having regular sex, 3x a week, but totally vanilla, no oral, aversion to each other's fluids, no fantasies discussed or lived out, etc. I'm not faulting her, she can't help it if that's her definition of great, but now I take it with a grain of salt every time a betrayed wife says on here that they had a great sex life with their DH and he cheated anyway.

Well he’s lying to his wife. What makes you think he’s telling you the truth about his sex life? You’re naive.

^^^ all of this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One where the female orgasms every time

Bonus points if she doesn't have to take care of it herself

amen.

-female

Extra bonus points if he doesn’t go any longer than she does!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an awkward story. I'm a woman. My AP's wife, who I don't know, found some incriminating messages and suspected I was having an affair with her husband. So she sent me a series of texts telling me how strong their marriage is and how great their sex life is.
Um...maybe not, if he's cheating on you? In their case, they were having regular sex, 3x a week, but totally vanilla, no oral, aversion to each other's fluids, no fantasies discussed or lived out, etc. I'm not faulting her, she can't help it if that's her definition of great, but now I take it with a grain of salt every time a betrayed wife says on here that they had a great sex life with their DH and he cheated anyway.

Well he’s lying to his wife. What makes you think he’s telling you the truth about his sex life? You’re naive.

Also, some men (and women) just have a cheating fantasy or get off on the forbidden. They may have had a genuinely great sex life with their spouse but still felt the urge to cheat because a spouse can't fulfill the need for forbidden or dangerous sex, if you have that need.

[Anonymous]

Our best sex is when it’s clear we are both really trying to please each other rather than me or DH just being in the need of a good O. It will get incredibly physical and we make sure it lasts a long time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1-3 hours? No wonder your frequency is low or your house is in shambles. Do you require roses, music, candles and a bath too?

Give me 5-10 minutes five times a week. I can get my O and move on with my day.

I would absolutely never want to have sex for 1-3 hours, good lord. If I can't O in 20 minutes, something's not working well. Multiple hours of sex sounds tedious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1-3 hours? No wonder your frequency is low or your house is in shambles. Do you require roses, music, candles and a bath too?

Give me 5-10 minutes five times a week. I can get my O and move on with my day.

I would absolutely never want to have sex for 1-3 hours, good lord. If I can't O in 20 minutes, something's not working well. Multiple hours of sex sounds tedious.

Agree! 20-30 minutes is perfect for me and if it’s much longer than that I start to think about my next day schedule! The exception is if we start in our hot tub and end up in bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1-3 hours? No wonder your frequency is low or your house is in shambles. Do you require roses, music, candles and a bath too?

Give me 5-10 minutes five times a week. I can get my O and move on with my day.

I would absolutely never want to have sex for 1-3 hours, good lord. If I can't O in 20 minutes, something's not working well. Multiple hours of sex sounds tedious.

It’s so funny when people brag about how great their sex is and then realize their brag sound like torture.

The they come back with a retort of 5 sec sex on the kitchen island which equally sound like an incels idea of what sex is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1-3 hours? No wonder your frequency is low or your house is in shambles. Do you require roses, music, candles and a bath too?

Give me 5-10 minutes five times a week. I can get my O and move on with my day.

I would absolutely never want to have sex for 1-3 hours, good lord. If I can't O in 20 minutes, something's not working well. Multiple hours of sex sounds tedious.

We used to go at it all day when we were first dating but each session didn't last that long. Sheesh imagine the UTIs!!!