Reply to What exactly is a ‘good sex life’?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have an awkward story.  I'm a woman.  My AP's wife, who I don't know, found some incriminating messages and suspected I was having an affair with her husband.  So she sent me a series of texts telling me how strong their marriage is and how great their sex life is. 
 Um...maybe not, if he's cheating on you?  In their case, they were having regular sex, 3x a week, but totally vanilla, no oral, aversion to each other's fluids, no fantasies discussed or lived out, etc.  I'm not faulting her, she can't help it if that's her definition of great, but now I take it with a grain of salt every time a betrayed wife says on here that they had a great sex life with their DH and he cheated anyway.[/quote]

Not sure why I would argue with a woman who would take someone's seconds sigh but here I go anyway.

1. Your AP married a vanilla woman. That's on him. If he wanted a freak he should have picked one. Lots of my guy friends from college did the same-- they wanted a nice wifey to be the suburban mom. I don't know if they are cheating but I wouldn't be surprised for a couple of them.

2. Even if she were vanilla if he communicated in a loving way, started slowly and made her feel safe they could have probably explored some gentle kink. He probably didn't have the patience for that.

3. I am v sex and kink positive woman and have a high drive. I consider giving a BJ part of foreplay- do it 99% of the time. I was married to someone who developed a Virgin/Whore complex(yes he was raised Catholic) once we got married. He became more vanilla esp once we started to talk about kids. So if I was the Madonna of course he needed to go get a Whore.

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