What exactly is a ‘good sex life’?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not just about the frequency. Are you both still feeling like sexual people? Are you hot for each other? If that’s all flowing then the number is just a number, it will all fall in place.

Even if one or both of you isn’t into it or feeling it- the effort should at least be made once per week, otherwise the desire will die out for likely the woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not just about the frequency. Are you both still feeling like sexual people? Are you hot for each other? If that’s all flowing then the number is just a number, it will all fall in place.

Even if one or both of you isn’t into it or feeling it- the effort should at least be made once per week, otherwise the desire will die out for likely the woman

This may or may not be good advice, but it certainly is not a "good sex life" and is not responsive to the thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im stunned by the people having this much sex and 1-3 hour sessions at least once a week! We have one young kid and have sex like once every two months, if I initiate. Its not very good, always the same every time. And I am the DW.

I was in your situation. Life gets better - as does the sex - as the kids get older and you regain some time for yourself.

I was also in your situation and it didn't get better. Not saying it won't for you but you need to talk with your DH and find a solution if you want one. There is a reason why 20% of married couples in their 40s are sexless.

+1. Actually, I’ve seen the number 30-40% cited in various places.

By age 50 it's almost half of couples are sexless, meaning 10x a year or less.

It takes a lot of effort and commitment to keep the sexual spark alive. And both partners want to have a good sex life. Monogamy is a beast.

Men have lots of issues performing at 50.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have kids under 5 1x a week is very good.

+1

Ours fell off during my pregnancies/post-partum and we started actively working to improve it once my youngest was sleeping through the night. Around 1x a week makes us both happy and is enough for now. Ideally it'd be more but we're both truly exhausted so much of the time. I hope we can improve further once my kids are a bit older, but for now 1x a week is a good balance.

(Obvious caveat that the answer is personal and each couple is different.)

Obvious caveat is you’re married to a loving adult and guess what you can’t always get what you want. You are not a toddler!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im stunned by the people having this much sex and 1-3 hour sessions at least once a week! We have one young kid and have sex like once every two months, if I initiate. Its not very good, always the same every time. And I am the DW.

I was in your situation. Life gets better - as does the sex - as the kids get older and you regain some time for yourself.

I was also in your situation and it didn't get better. Not saying it won't for you but you need to talk with your DH and find a solution if you want one. There is a reason why 20% of married couples in their 40s are sexless.

+1. Actually, I’ve seen the number 30-40% cited in various places.

By age 50 it's almost half of couples are sexless, meaning 10x a year or less.

It takes a lot of effort and commitment to keep the sexual spark alive. And both partners want to have a good sex life. Monogamy is a beast.

Men have lots of issues performing at 50.

Makes sense - 38% of men are obese, 74% are overweight, so add that to the age factor. Obesity is a significant factor in ED, so almost half of men can have performance issues. Add slightly overweight men with diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and/or depression and I'm amazed that anyone can have sex.

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/erectile-dysfunction

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24720114/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3 hours? I would need to call into work and be on bed rest for the remainder of the week. Maybe call for a vaginal rejuvenation appointment. Definitely need IV fluids.

Yeah, all kidding aside, I do think it’s important to be able to have satisfying quickies as well as satisfying lengthy sessions, because if the only way you can get off is through a lengthy session, you are creating a pretty tough situation when your life gets busier as your kids get older.

Right, because when they’re older and aware, you can’t just throw on a movie and leave them be. And, yes, weekends are busier, so unless you’re perfectly aligned on timing, it’s tough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3x per week. We both enjoy orgasms regularly.

If it’s 3x a week the o’s should be 3x a week. If not it’s not good.

Yeah, ever dated a guy who treats you like a blowup doll? No.amount of.sex with a guy like that would be a good sex life.

This is what so many men (husbands) don't understand. I will have ALL THE SEX if you are able to get me to orgasm too. It feels like a chore when there's little pleasure in it for me.

It sounds like it's very difficult to get you to orgasm. Is that your husband's fault? I've been with women where sometimes, it just wasn't going to happen no matter what I did and others where it would take an hour. Then I get with a woman who gets off easily and realize, it's not me.

If a guy's attitude is "you need to get off in X amount of time doing what I want or else you have a problem", yea, she's not gonna get off.

A woman who fakes her orgasm. FTFY

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1-3 hours? No wonder your frequency is low or your house is in shambles. Do you require roses, music, candles and a bath too?

Give me 5-10 minutes five times a week. I can get my O and move on with my day.

I said once a week was 1-3 hours not every time we have sex.

We have plenty of quickies. DH gave me a nice O in the kitchen just before lunch today, 4-5 min start to finish. There is a reason I only wear skirts or dresses around the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1-3 hours? No wonder your frequency is low or your house is in shambles. Do you require roses, music, candles and a bath too?

Give me 5-10 minutes five times a week. I can get my O and move on with my day.

I said once a week was 1-3 hours not every time we have sex.

We have plenty of quickies. DH gave me a nice O in the kitchen just before lunch today, 4-5 min start to finish. There is a reason I only wear skirts or dresses around the house.

Why are desperate for attention

[Anonymous]

Both parties get theirs and are down for anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1-3 hours? No wonder your frequency is low or your house is in shambles. Do you require roses, music, candles and a bath too?

Give me 5-10 minutes five times a week. I can get my O and move on with my day.

I said once a week was 1-3 hours not every time we have sex.

We have plenty of quickies. DH gave me a nice O in the kitchen just before lunch today, 4-5 min start to finish. There is a reason I only wear skirts or dresses around the house.

dear penthouse …

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Im stunned by the people having this much sex and 1-3 hour sessions at least once a week! We have one young kid and have sex like once every two months, if I initiate. Its not very good, always the same every time. And I am the DW.

Massive Red flag. I must conclude he is either gay, or cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1-3 hours? No wonder your frequency is low or your house is in shambles. Do you require roses, music, candles and a bath too?

Give me 5-10 minutes five times a week. I can get my O and move on with my day.

I said once a week was 1-3 hours not every time we have sex.

We have plenty of quickies. DH gave me a nice O in the kitchen just before lunch today, 4-5 min start to finish. There is a reason I only wear skirts or dresses around the house.

Why are desperate for attention

What attention would I be getting on an anonymous board? Simply answering a question and stating a fact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1-3 hours? No wonder your frequency is low or your house is in shambles. Do you require roses, music, candles and a bath too?

Give me 5-10 minutes five times a week. I can get my O and move on with my day.

I said once a week was 1-3 hours not every time we have sex.

We have plenty of quickies. DH gave me a nice O in the kitchen just before lunch today, 4-5 min start to finish. There is a reason I only wear skirts or dresses around the house.

Why are desperate for attention

What attention would I be getting on an anonymous board? Simply answering a question and stating a fact.

Okay incel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1-3 hours? No wonder your frequency is low or your house is in shambles. Do you require roses, music, candles and a bath too?

Give me 5-10 minutes five times a week. I can get my O and move on with my day.

I said once a week was 1-3 hours not every time we have sex.

We have plenty of quickies. DH gave me a nice O in the kitchen just before lunch today, 4-5 min start to finish. There is a reason I only wear skirts or dresses around the house.

Why are desperate for attention

What attention would I be getting on an anonymous board? Simply answering a question and stating a fact.

Okay incel.

What is your deal?