Why don’t parents file more police reports?

[Anonymous]

The kids will retaliate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The kids will retaliate.

+1

And the crazy parents who spawned the violent monsters will back them up doing so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've listened to various Principals talk in generalities about their line of conduct in such cases, and my toddler daughter was the victim of a deliberate punch to the head when I picked up her brother in elementary. I would call the police if:

1. The assault wasn't very serious, but it helped the school build a case for a student who needed special placement that was refused by the parents, or it helped wake up the parents that their child needed more help. In our case, the school was already fed up with the parents of the child in question, and it was the last straw that made the Principal force a non-mainstream setting. Just FYI, schools' hands are tied when parents refuse placement, until the school can document enough incidents. If you're in such a situation, report as much as possible!

2. The assault is serious, and perhaps the school's first reflex is to hide evidence and confuse witnesses (which sadly happened in a very grave incident in an MCPS high school a few years ago) and therefore calling police IMMEDIATELY, in spite of a school's protestations, helps preserve evidence and secure accurate witness statements to put the perpetrators in jail. Call police before you contact the school, actually, so they don't have a chance to do anything.

Pertaining to your 1.) not all police cooperate. Police departments tend to close rank, like most school systems, and if the school systems have a "policy" in place, the police won't take a report. You can't make the police take a report. I have seen police take false reports, yet not take actual reports, so the system tends to be backward. I have worked in the court system and seen all types of stories.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because assaults are not really happening IRL.

Teacher here. I see assaults happening at least 1-2 days a week in my school. It has gotten worse since I started 10 years ago. This year has been pretty awful.

Can you at least share your district?

Baltimore City. Fights happen at school all over the country every day. The admin deals with the students involved. As far as being a required reporter, that is for child abuse and neglect. Thankfully, I teach younger kids so I have to deal with this type of behavior a lot less than the teachers in grades 4-5.

Parents want to believe that assaults are only happening in the city, but it most certainly is not. Maybe not everyday, but it is happening where you would never expect. The parents do not want little Johnny brought into juvenile court, even if it would be the best thing for him, long term. Those parents think their kid's ill behavior is a reflection on them, and it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few years ago, they probably expected the schools to handle it by expelling the student.

Now, they probably know the school will do nothing but don’t want to call the cops because they don’t want to be cancelled.

But I agree with you. If someone assaults my kids, I’m pressing charges. I don’t care if it happens at school or not.

What do you consider assault? When a kindergartner bites another kid? When a 3rd grader hits another kid because he didn’t like the way a game ended? When a middle schooler trips a kid in the hallway as a joke? When another kid gets jealous of a toy or something and pushes them down to get it? I’ve seen all of these things and I wouldn’t consider any one of them assault.

DP. Anything that leaves a physical mark, especially past upper elementary. With the exception of the biting, the rest of the things you mentioned wouldn’t warrant that. A closed fist punch, a shove hard enough to cause a hard fall and bruising, a puncture wound from being stabbed with a pen? Yes. I wouldn’t press charges if a kindergartner bit my kid but I’d make it clear that better be the last time or I’d escalate the issue. You get kicked out of daycare or private preschool for that. I’m not sure why it’s expected to be tolerated in kindergarten or first grade.

Children have a right to a free appropriate public education in the least restrictive environment where can be reasonably successful. There's no similar right to daycare or private preschool.

Obviously the school should provide appropriate supports to reduce the risk of biting or other injuries. But try to keep things in perspective. Your kid can handle most bites another kid might do. But think of the damage you'll do to the other kid if you successfully kick them out of class.

The rights of the bully must come before the rights of the victim - is that your argument?

PP is saying they have EQUAL rights when it comes to receiving an education. So it’s harder to get them kicked out.

Agree. However, equal rights should mean equal treatment, and unfortunately, in practice, it is not. Parents of certain kids fight for their kids to stay in school so they don't have to deal with them. If it doesn't pertain to you fine, but it happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few years ago, they probably expected the schools to handle it by expelling the student.

Now, they probably know the school will do nothing but don’t want to call the cops because they don’t want to be cancelled.

But I agree with you. If someone assaults my kids, I’m pressing charges. I don’t care if it happens at school or not.

What do you consider assault? When a kindergartner bites another kid? When a 3rd grader hits another kid because he didn’t like the way a game ended? When a middle schooler trips a kid in the hallway as a joke? When another kid gets jealous of a toy or something and pushes them down to get it? I’ve seen all of these things and I wouldn’t consider any one of them assault.

DP. Anything that leaves a physical mark, especially past upper elementary. With the exception of the biting, the rest of the things you mentioned wouldn’t warrant that. A closed fist punch, a shove hard enough to cause a hard fall and bruising, a puncture wound from being stabbed with a pen? Yes. I wouldn’t press charges if a kindergartner bit my kid but I’d make it clear that better be the last time or I’d escalate the issue. You get kicked out of daycare or private preschool for that. I’m not sure why it’s expected to be tolerated in kindergarten or first grade.

Children have a right to a free appropriate public education in the least restrictive environment where can be reasonably successful. There's no similar right to daycare or private preschool.

Obviously the school should provide appropriate supports to reduce the risk of biting or other injuries. But try to keep things in perspective. Your kid can handle most bites another kid might do. But think of the damage you'll do to the other kid if you successfully kick them out of class./quote]

My kid is not going to school to "handle bites" (WTF?)

Don't give a damn about any "damage" to a kid who's biting other students. That's their parents' responsibility.

x10000000

Some parents simply do not want to be responsible for their own children, and will fight it tirelessly.

[Anonymous]

We wouldn’t need to file such reports if disruptive kids were promptly removed from class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few years ago, they probably expected the schools to handle it by expelling the student.

Now, they probably know the school will do nothing but don’t want to call the cops because they don’t want to be cancelled.

But I agree with you. If someone assaults my kids, I’m pressing charges. I don’t care if it happens at school or not.

What do you consider assault? When a kindergartner bites another kid? When a 3rd grader hits another kid because he didn’t like the way a game ended? When a middle schooler trips a kid in the hallway as a joke? When another kid gets jealous of a toy or something and pushes them down to get it? I’ve seen all of these things and I wouldn’t consider any one of them assault.

DP. Anything that leaves a physical mark, especially past upper elementary. With the exception of the biting, the rest of the things you mentioned wouldn’t warrant that. A closed fist punch, a shove hard enough to cause a hard fall and bruising, a puncture wound from being stabbed with a pen? Yes. I wouldn’t press charges if a kindergartner bit my kid but I’d make it clear that better be the last time or I’d escalate the issue. You get kicked out of daycare or private preschool for that. I’m not sure why it’s expected to be tolerated in kindergarten or first grade.

Children have a right to a free appropriate public education in the least restrictive environment where can be reasonably successful. There's no similar right to daycare or private preschool.

Obviously the school should provide appropriate supports to reduce the risk of biting or other injuries. But try to keep things in perspective. Your kid can handle most bites another kid might do. But think of the damage you'll do to the other kid if you successfully kick them out of class.

The rights of the bully must come before the rights of the victim - is that your argument?

Bullying is not assault ... this thread is about assault. No if somebody assaults a child the assaulter is moved not the victim. It just rarely happens... assaults that is.

+1

Exactly this. But some parents think crying "bullying" solves all the issues they failed to address.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We wouldn’t need to file such reports if disruptive kids were promptly removed from class.

x100000

If the police don't take a report, lawyer up and go forward. These parents that have the assailant kids are the real bullies.

[Anonymous]

It’s ok to sacrifice the few trouble makers for the greater goods

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s ok to sacrifice the few trouble makers for the greater goods

+1

Of course it is, and the majority agrees with you. But think about it, the problematic kids have problematic parents, who have been at this since their "sweet boy" (always this) was in preK - they are well practiced in the ins and outs of what keeps their "sweet boy" in school. That "sweet boy's" victims are blindsided, and the "sweet boy's" parents know this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The police?

The police should be defunded. And never, ever allowed near a school.

I don't agree and I am a non-White. Police needs more training and we need to weed out the bad apples.

[Anonymous]

K-12 schools are not subject to the Clery Act, unlike universities. That requires them to report any serious crimes committed on campus.

Schools of course have an incentive to sweep things under the rug, which is why the Clery Act was created.

For example, in MCPS, parents and the public only found out about the alleged gang rape at Rockville HS because the police issued a report of it, not because MCPS or the principal mentioned it.. and even that took 2-3 days.

As for expelling problem students, in MCPS they no longer have a school for bad kids (it was Twain, in Rockville) so now they just transfer the problem to another school. The ringleader in the Damascus HS rape case was on his third high school by that point.

Now if they end up in juvenile detention (as in, locked up), then they go to school at the detention center (known as RICA) but only the most severe cases end up there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few years ago, they probably expected the schools to handle it by expelling the student.

Now, they probably know the school will do nothing but don’t want to call the cops because they don’t want to be cancelled.

But I agree with you. If someone assaults my kids, I’m pressing charges. I don’t care if it happens at school or not.

Man. I am not done with my coffee yet and I have already read the stupidest thing I will really on the internet today. Pp is a special sort of moron, isn’t she?

DP. I completely agree with the PP about being cancelled. The social media pillory of calling the police on a Black child isn’t worth the lifelong albatross it would put around our family’s neck. I would change schools before doing that.

It’s not even just a black kid. If the violent kid is white and you get them arrested then the mob would probably come for you for getting a “special needs child” removed from school. Especially if the violent kid resists arrest and something else happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few years ago, they probably expected the schools to handle it by expelling the student.

Now, they probably know the school will do nothing but don’t want to call the cops because they don’t want to be cancelled.

But I agree with you. If someone assaults my kids, I’m pressing charges. I don’t care if it happens at school or not.

Man. I am not done with my coffee yet and I have already read the stupidest thing I will really on the internet today. Pp is a special sort of moron, isn’t she?

DP. I completely agree with the PP about being cancelled. The social media pillory of calling the police on a Black child isn’t worth the lifelong albatross it would put around our family’s neck. I would change schools before doing that.

It’s not even just a black kid. If the violent kid is white and you get them arrested then the mob would probably come for you for getting a “special needs child” removed from school. Especially if the violent kid resists arrest and something else happens.

+1

Exactly. Their parents are well versed in how to get junior out of trouble - how do you think it got so bad, to begin with?