Why don’t parents file more police reports?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few years ago, they probably expected the schools to handle it by expelling the student.

Now, they probably know the school will do nothing but don’t want to call the cops because they don’t want to be cancelled.

But I agree with you. If someone assaults my kids, I’m pressing charges. I don’t care if it happens at school or not.

What do you consider assault? When a kindergartner bites another kid? When a 3rd grader hits another kid because he didn’t like the way a game ended? When a middle schooler trips a kid in the hallway as a joke? When another kid gets jealous of a toy or something and pushes them down to get it? I’ve seen all of these things and I wouldn’t consider any one of them assault.

DP. Anything that leaves a physical mark, especially past upper elementary. With the exception of the biting, the rest of the things you mentioned wouldn’t warrant that. A closed fist punch, a shove hard enough to cause a hard fall and bruising, a puncture wound from being stabbed with a pen? Yes. I wouldn’t press charges if a kindergartner bit my kid but I’d make it clear that better be the last time or I’d escalate the issue. You get kicked out of daycare or private preschool for that. I’m not sure why it’s expected to be tolerated in kindergarten or first grade.

You can't press charges against a kindergartner. Children that age are simply not criminally responsible. It's insane that you think that people not calling the cops means they are "tolerating" normal childhood misbehavior. We are talking about children. Young children. You think they need to be arrested? Taken to jail? There are schools and states where that happens, and it's hideous and ugly and horrifying and traumatic. Children don't belong in the penal system. Period. High school students are different, but even then, not every issue belongs in the criminal justice system.

PP. The question was what I'd consider assault, not whether I'd press charges against a kindergartner or even elementary school aged child. I wouldn't press charges for a younger student but I'd be documenting it. A bunch of us had to do this when one of my kids was in early elementary school, and eventually the student was sent to CSS. I am certain the school would have denied anything and let more kids be injured if parents had not taken photographs of the injuries and kept records. I'm guessing the people who are saying "your kid will survive a bite or two!" have never had one of their own children get injured by a classmate and require medical attention. I have, and it's horrible.

[Anonymous]

OP back. My instinct to file a report or hire a lawyer stems entirely from the fear that incidents aren’t documented or “counted” and that the school will always take the most conservative action and potentially even play dumb. I would want to make sure it’s all at least written down somewhere.

It’s not something my parents would have needed to do when I was in public 30 years ago but I do remember them calling the principal once or twice when I felt afraid. (FYI I’ve been lucky enough to never have to call the police or hire a lawyer in my life—this is just me trying to understand how one escalates appropriately. The only comparable situation I’ve been in is with medical staff. I’ve regretted *not* escalating and self advocating more, especially when loved ones have endured poor care).

The types of things I think I might “go nuclear” about: sexual groping, texts suggesting a child should kill himself, putting a head in a toilet, broken bones. I’m not talking about kindergarteners biting!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP back. My instinct to file a report or hire a lawyer stems entirely from the fear that incidents aren’t documented or “counted” and that the school will always take the most conservative action and potentially even play dumb. I would want to make sure it’s all at least written down somewhere.

It’s not something my parents would have needed to do when I was in public 30 years ago but I do remember them calling the principal once or twice when I felt afraid. (FYI I’ve been lucky enough to never have to call the police or hire a lawyer in my life—this is just me trying to understand how one escalates appropriately. The only comparable situation I’ve been in is with medical staff. I’ve regretted *not* escalating and self advocating more, especially when loved ones have endured poor care).

The types of things I think I might “go nuclear” about: sexual groping, texts suggesting a child should kill himself, putting a head in a toilet, broken bones. I’m not talking about kindergarteners biting!

Same, OP. None of those are excusable actions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The police?

The police should be defunded. And never, ever allowed near a school.

Yeah, anarchy is a brilliant solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back. My instinct to file a report or hire a lawyer stems entirely from the fear that incidents aren’t documented or “counted” and that the school will always take the most conservative action and potentially even play dumb. I would want to make sure it’s all at least written down somewhere.

It’s not something my parents would have needed to do when I was in public 30 years ago but I do remember them calling the principal once or twice when I felt afraid. (FYI I’ve been lucky enough to never have to call the police or hire a lawyer in my life—this is just me trying to understand how one escalates appropriately. The only comparable situation I’ve been in is with medical staff. I’ve regretted *not* escalating and self advocating more, especially when loved ones have endured poor care).

The types of things I think I might “go nuclear” about: sexual groping, texts suggesting a child should kill himself, putting a head in a toilet, broken bones. I’m not talking about kindergarteners biting!

Same, OP. None of those are excusable actions.

Is your kid experiencing any of these things OP? Or are they experiencing less extreme “wrongs” that you’re wondering g how to handle? Or are you just playing out what-if scenarios?

If the latter, this could be a sign of anxiety and you may want to talk to your doctor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few years ago, they probably expected the schools to handle it by expelling the student.

Now, they probably know the school will do nothing but don’t want to call the cops because they don’t want to be cancelled.

But I agree with you. If someone assaults my kids, I’m pressing charges. I don’t care if it happens at school or not.

You are assuming a few things, the first of which is that the police department will cooperate. In some (types of) towns, the police department will not, for various reasons. Also, some schools (FCPS, for one) do not cooperate, close ranks, and protect their own. In addition, the other parties' parents certainly are not going to cooperate, because where do you think the assailant learned this behavior?

If it was as easy as you say, there would be a whole lotta white kids in the juvenile system, and a lot fewer brown and black kids in the system, OP. I know, I have worked in juvenile courts.

[Anonymous]

Because assaults are not really happening IRL.

[Anonymous]

OP, FCPS is known for being backward about what is truly important and not totally nonsensical, with regard to pressing charges. The kid that sells drugs at the local affluent high school will get away with murder - but not the AP top of the class kid? Not so. Every man for himself.

[Anonymous]

I think the removal of SROs in schools will hopefully cause many more parents to file police reports. It's not like the SROs we're preventing much, and the actual investigation or arrest by police of the juvenile offenders will send a much stronger message.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because assaults are not really happening IRL.

Huh. Those witnesses and video recordings and evidence must have been all an illusion, in your snowflake's world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few years ago, they probably expected the schools to handle it by expelling the student.

Now, they probably know the school will do nothing but don’t want to call the cops because they don’t want to be cancelled.

But I agree with you. If someone assaults my kids, I’m pressing charges. I don’t care if it happens at school or not.

You are assuming a few things, the first of which is that the police department will cooperate. In some (types of) towns, the police department will not, for various reasons. Also, some schools (FCPS, for one) do not cooperate, close ranks, and protect their own. In addition, the other parties' parents certainly are not going to cooperate, because where do you think the assailant learned this behavior?

If it was as easy as you say, there would be a whole lotta white kids in the juvenile system, and a lot fewer brown and black kids in the system, OP. I know, I have worked in juvenile courts.

This. The cops would not care. If your child is a target, filing reports does create a paper trail if you are planning on suing at some point, but that would be the only thing it would do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the removal of SROs in schools will hopefully cause many more parents to file police reports. It's not like the SROs we're preventing much, and the actual investigation or arrest by police of the juvenile offenders will send a much stronger message.

+1

PP here. I agree with this statement, having been through it.

If you kid has been wronged, lawyer up and take their house, as far as I am concerned. All bets are off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few years ago, they probably expected the schools to handle it by expelling the student.

Now, they probably know the school will do nothing but don’t want to call the cops because they don’t want to be cancelled.

But I agree with you. If someone assaults my kids, I’m pressing charges. I don’t care if it happens at school or not.

You are assuming a few things, the first of which is that the police department will cooperate. In some (types of) towns, the police department will not, for various reasons. Also, some schools (FCPS, for one) do not cooperate, close ranks, and protect their own. In addition, the other parties' parents certainly are not going to cooperate, because where do you think the assailant learned this behavior?

If it was as easy as you say, there would be a whole lotta white kids in the juvenile system, and a lot fewer brown and black kids in the system, OP. I know, I have worked in juvenile courts.

This. The cops would not care. If your child is a target, filing reports does create a paper trail if you are planning on suing at some point, but that would be the only thing it would do.

Yup. Would you take these white women seriously? Based on how the assailants parents act - I wouldn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, FCPS is known for being backward about what is truly important and not totally nonsensical, with regard to pressing charges. The kid that sells drugs at the local affluent high school will get away with murder - but not the AP top of the class kid? Not so. Every man for himself.

*not totally sensical

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because assaults are not really happening IRL.

That is a lie. Why are you intentionally lying about violence in our schools?

https://www.edweek.org/leadership/violence-seems-to-be-increasing-in-schools-why/2021/11


https://ojjdp.ojp.gov/sites/g/files/xyckuh176/files/media/document/juvenile-court-statistics-2018.pdf?utm_source=govdelivery&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=publications


https://news.yahoo.com/serious-juvenile-crime-rising-police-143200603.html