Men, would you date or marry someone considered fat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fat woman here. The least I've weighed as an adult is about 165 (at 5'4") and the most about 220. I was married for several decades and then in a three year relationship and also dated several other guys before and after marriage. Not one of them was overweight and they were all pretty good looking. My weight did not affect any of the relationships. I am totally into sex if it's with someone I love and am attracted to though, so there's that.

But were they quality men? Someone in this thread or the other thread mentioned how all the ladies on 600lb life had SOs, and I've watched that show none of those men are what I consider quality. They're usually bums, with no jobs, other terrible habits, sponging off the women, who enable them by buying fast food on the ready.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No, because all women get fatter after marriage. I married an overweight woman, and she got a lot bigger.

Did you stay the same weight?

I'd put on 20 lbs and then lose 30 lbs. At times I was in better shape than when I got married, which made her angry.

So your weight fluctuation is forgivable, even admirable, her hers is not. Got you.

I'm not the pp, but my wife and I were comparably thin when we met. I've gained 10 pounds in 20 years, she's gained 40+. I think it's our duty as partners to stay within 10% of the weight we were when we met.

Did you bear children, which changes your body and ruins your metabolism? No? Then STFU.

You have to eat for your new metabolism very rarely is the inability to lose excess weight gain about hormonal changes.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Of course you should if you like her. But, she should not be with you bc you are unable to overcome societal negativity and pressure around someone “considered fat.”

If I’m being completely honest, societal pressure has zero to do with who I’m attracted to and who I’ll date. I can’t emphasize this enough. I date who I’m attracted to - much the same as women.

I’m also in the “lid for every pot” camp. Some of our friends are definitely what you’d describe as fat (I personally don’t think about it) and have a very happy marriage.

I dont believe this. So many men are easily influenced, but they all want to believe their mavericks who think for themselves. I dated a very powerful/well known man in my city and it was amazing how much more male attention I got afterwards. Suddenly men were coming out of the woodwork after we broke up, all because I had some kind of new status or social clout since such a powerful man had wanted me. It was really a turn off. Men who were quiet before were suddenly all over me, because of the social status.

I'm not fat but I have no doubt there are many men attracted to fat women who dont come forward because most men are cowards and extremely concerned/preoccupied with what their friends will say. Many men are essentially social golddiggers, looking to use a woman for clout and social recognition

It's much easier for you to believe in this huge conspiracy than to accept that men just might not be attracted to you or very overweight women. Interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love thick women. Fat, almost a no. It depends on her personality. If it's upbeat and cheery, one tends to overlook it.
However, if fat comes with baggage (image issue, insecurity, neediness, etc.), NO thanks.

As a fat woman, I agree with this. When I feel miserable about myself, nobody is looking at me or flirting with me. When I feel fabulous about myself, like now, I get tons of male attention. And I'm older and married. Not really who you'd think men would be interested in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For example someone with demi Lovato's body type. A guy at work is always fat shaming fat people but then says demi could get it. She struggles with her weight though and I see a lot of very fat women married with thinner or chubby partners in dc. Should women just stop worrying about dieting if the goal is to look good?

We all know the answer..no! Even if he was fat!!!

[Anonymous]

My wife was overweight when I met her, overweight when I married her and overweight today, 20 years later. We weren't teenagers when we dated so it never crossed my mind that it would matter what others thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, because all women get fatter after marriage. I married an overweight woman, and she got a lot bigger.

I noticed that! My cousins were thin as strings when dating men but after marriage and a few kids they have really gotten wider. No more girlish figures.

Maybe that’s because they’re women, no longer girls.

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love thick women. Fat, almost a no. It depends on her personality. If it's upbeat and cheery, one tends to overlook it.
However, if fat comes with baggage (image issue, insecurity, neediness, etc.), NO thanks.

As a fat woman, I agree with this. When I feel miserable about myself, nobody is looking at me or flirting with me. When I feel fabulous about myself, like now, I get tons of male attention. And I'm older and married. Not really who you'd think men would be interested in.

+1 Guy here. Men fall in love with and marry all kinds of women. And, while its true that not all of them are attracted to fat, a lot of them don’t care.

[Anonymous]

I have no doubt there are many men attracted to fat women who dont come forward because most men are cowards and extremely concerned/preoccupied with what their friends will say.

You have no doubt. Doesn’t make it true though.

[Anonymous]

I dont believe this. So many men are easily influenced, but they all want to believe their mavericks who think for themselves. I dated a very powerful/well known man in my city and it was amazing how much more male attention I got afterwards. Suddenly men were coming out of the woodwork after we broke up, all because I had some kind of new status or social clout since such a powerful man had wanted me. It was really a turn off. Men who were quiet before were suddenly all over me, because of the social status.

LMAO this is complete BS. Once again a woman is projecting female attitudes and behaviors onto men. Men are NOT attracted to women who date high-status men because of those men’s status. (They are attracted to women who date high status men because those women are usually hot, but that is about the woman, nothing to do with the man she dated.) It is only women who are attracted to men who have “social proof” - i.e., association with attractive women.

If you think you can become more attractive despite being fat by dating a high-status man, your first problem is finding a high-status man who wants to date a fatty, and even after that, other men won’t care that you did, because you’re still a fatty.

[Anonymous]

I feel dumber somehow for having read through this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I dont believe this. So many men are easily influenced, but they all want to believe their mavericks who think for themselves. I dated a very powerful/well known man in my city and it was amazing how much more male attention I got afterwards. Suddenly men were coming out of the woodwork after we broke up, all because I had some kind of new status or social clout since such a powerful man had wanted me. It was really a turn off. Men who were quiet before were suddenly all over me, because of the social status.

LMAO this is complete BS. Once again a woman is projecting female attitudes and behaviors onto men. Men are NOT attracted to women who date high-status men because of those men’s status. (They are attracted to women who date high status men because those women are usually hot, but that is about the woman, nothing to do with the man she dated.) It is only women who are attracted to men who have “social proof” - i.e., association with attractive women.

If you think you can become more attractive despite being fat by dating a high-status man, your first problem is finding a high-status man who wants to date a fatty, and even after that, other men won’t care that you did, because you’re still a fatty.

I'll concede PP's point a little as I did think it was cool when I was dating a woman who was previously married to a Heisman Trophy winner / NFL player, or a different ex that has a ONS with Idris Elba.

But I only knew that after dating them a while and I never would have met them in the first place if I wasn't already attracted to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fat woman here. The least I've weighed as an adult is about 165 (at 5'4") and the most about 220. I was married for several decades and then in a three year relationship and also dated several other guys before and after marriage. Not one of them was overweight and they were all pretty good looking. My weight did not affect any of the relationships. I am totally into sex if it's with someone I love and am attracted to though, so there's that.

But were they quality men? Someone in this thread or the other thread mentioned how all the ladies on 600lb life had SOs, and I've watched that show none of those men are what I consider quality. They're usually bums, with no jobs, other terrible habits, sponging off the women, who enable them by buying fast food on the ready.

Yes, they were quality men. All had jobs, cars, their own homes, among their other attributes. My husband was a good provider, husband and dad through a 25 year marriage. We raised our kids in one of the most highly sought after communities in NoVa. I've never watched the show about 600lb people but the men I have been involved with or dated would not be considered bums by anyone.

[Anonymous]

This topic has come up in another group I am in, and the men all say they don't care about a woman's weight. These are men from outside DC and across the country.