Men, would you date or marry someone considered fat?

[Anonymous]

For example someone with demi Lovato's body type. A guy at work is always fat shaming fat people but then says demi could get it. She struggles with her weight though and I see a lot of very fat women married with thinner or chubby partners in dc. Should women just stop worrying about dieting if the goal is to look good?

[Anonymous]

Demi Lovato is not fat.

[Anonymous]

Who is considering the person fat? What is considered fat? If you go by BMI, pretty much everyone is fat.

[Anonymous]

I’ll answer the question. No.

[Anonymous]

It depends.

As long as she maintained a level of fitness / tried to exercise, then yes: I would (and have) date a woman that society views as overweight. My ex girlfriend was viewed as overweight by some, but she finished the Marine Corps marathon and was beautiful to me.

I guess I draw the line at: “obese and has has completely stopped trying to get healthy.”

[Anonymous]

Of course you should if you like her. But, she should not be with you bc you are unable to overcome societal negativity and pressure around someone “considered fat.”

[Anonymous]

No hard pass

[Anonymous]

No. Another hard pass.

[Anonymous]

I think that everyone’s dealbreakers, no matter how petty, are legitimate. If I’m rejected for not being 6’4 or not making 7 figures I chalk it up to not being her type and don’t blame it in society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that everyone’s dealbreakers, no matter how petty, are legitimate. If I’m rejected for not being 6’4 or not making 7 figures I chalk it up to not being her type and don’t blame it in society.

No one is blaming society. The problem is when someone won’t be with someone they actually like bc they don’t have the balls to care more about their actual attraction than peer pressure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that everyone’s dealbreakers, no matter how petty, are legitimate. If I’m rejected for not being 6’4 or not making 7 figures I chalk it up to not being her type and don’t blame it in society.

No one is blaming society. The problem is when someone won’t be with someone they actually like bc they don’t have the balls to care more about their actual attraction than peer pressure.

That' doesn't happen that often though despite what boards have you believe. If someone was really into you they would give you a shot, the fact is that they aren't with someone who is into you. The funny thing is so many of the women complaining a guy won't be with her because she's fat or a guy complaining a girl won't be with him because he's too short won't give everyone a chance either because they aren't attracted to them. I guess it's fine for them to be picky or have a preference, but if someone isn't into them they're shallow or have been corrupted and too afraid because of society.
Nobody owes you a date, if you are fortunate to find someone interested in you give them a shot, instead of whining about the person who isn't interested in you.

As for the OP, the coworker just sounds like your garden variety douche.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that everyone’s dealbreakers, no matter how petty, are legitimate. If I’m rejected for not being 6’4 or not making 7 figures I chalk it up to not being her type and don’t blame it in society.

No one is blaming society. The problem is when someone won’t be with someone they actually like bc they don’t have the balls to care more about their actual attraction than peer pressure.

That' doesn't happen that often though despite what boards have you believe. If someone was really into you they would give you a shot, the fact is that they aren't with someone who is into you. The funny thing is so many of the women complaining a guy won't be with her because she's fat or a guy complaining a girl won't be with him because he's too short won't give everyone a chance either because they aren't attracted to them. I guess it's fine for them to be picky or have a preference, but if someone isn't into them they're shallow or have been corrupted and too afraid because of society.
Nobody owes you a date, if you are fortunate to find someone interested in you give them a shot, instead of whining about the person who isn't interested in you.

As for the OP, the coworker just sounds like your garden variety douche.

Again, these are not the same thing. Not talking about people who make excuses for their own unpopularity. This question specifically refers to the OP, who is asking whether he should cow tow to peer pressure vs actually commit to someone he already finds attractive. That is just loserville. If you love this woman go get her, who cares what others think.

[Anonymous]

It’s kowtow. One word. No bovines involved.

kow·tow
/ˌkouˈtou/
Learn to pronounce
verb
1.
act in an excessively subservient manner.
"she didn't have to kowtow to a boss"
Similar:
grovel
behave obsequiously
be obsequious
be servile
be sycophantic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s kowtow. One word. No bovines involved.

kow·tow
/ˌkouˈtou/
Learn to pronounce
verb
1.
act in an excessively subservient manner.
"she didn't have to kowtow to a boss"
Similar:
grovel
behave obsequiously
be obsequious
be servile
be sycophantic

You are correct, thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course you should if you like her. But, she should not be with you bc you are unable to overcome societal negativity and pressure around someone “considered fat.”

If I’m being completely honest, societal pressure has zero to do with who I’m attracted to and who I’ll date. I can’t emphasize this enough. I date who I’m attracted to - much the same as women.

I’m also in the “lid for every pot” camp. Some of our friends are definitely what you’d describe as fat (I personally don’t think about it) and have a very happy marriage.