If an adult invite says no gifts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still bring a gift. It’s just common courtesy. I don’t bring stuff that’s ridiculous though. Something tasteful like some crystal or a vase or something elegant.

No, nbo it is not common courtesy. It is a BOUNDARY violation. Someone told you know, but you decided "no" means "Yes." Not OK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still bring a gift. It’s just common courtesy. I don’t bring stuff that’s ridiculous though. Something tasteful like some crystal or a vase or something elegant.

Nobody wants the crystal or a vase. And can you imagine if multiple people brought them crystal or a vase?

I always bring a decorative item for the home and the recipients always love it. I guess it’s something higher class people do, as I was brought up that way

So klassy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still bring a gift. It’s just common courtesy. I don’t bring stuff that’s ridiculous though. Something tasteful like some crystal or a vase or something elegant.

Nobody wants the crystal or a vase. And can you imagine if multiple people brought them crystal or a vase?

I always bring a decorative item for the home and the recipients always love it. I guess it’s something higher class people do, as I was brought up that way

How do you know they love it? Of course they say that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For a regular adult party that didn't say no gifts, I probably wouldn't bring anything other than a card and a hostess gift, like wine, flowers, or chocolates. Do people generally give grown adult friends gifts on their birthdays?

This. Wine, flowers, chocolate are what I give when people WANT gifts (i.e. they don't say "no gifts"). How can these be the no-gift gifts?

If the invite says "no gifts," I bring nothing but a card. That's because I know what "no" means, and I assume the person sending the invite does, too. It is rude to bring anything if you've been asked not to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still bring a gift. It’s just common courtesy. I don’t bring stuff that’s ridiculous though. Something tasteful like some crystal or a vase or something elegant.

Nobody wants the crystal or a vase. And can you imagine if multiple people brought them crystal or a vase?

I always bring a decorative item for the home and the recipients always love it. I guess it’s something higher class people do, as I was brought up that way

How do you know they love it? Of course they say that.

I don’t give cheesy trashy things. I know what they will love and want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nooooo don’t.

I don’t want more crap. Really. If you bring me a vase or whatever, it’s going straight to goodwill. I don’t want chocolate. I don’t want wine.

I have a good friend who is always giving me gifts that I don’t want. I’m then put in an awkward position because I donate them, and for the next year I constantly get asked where the gift she got me is. Please don’t put your friends in that position.

Oh my gosh, finally a friend in this thread.

It's so disrespectful to ignore your host when they ask you not to bring STUFF to their house. My gosh, people. This isn't hard. They don't want your things. YOU might think your thing is cool, but they don't want it.

Your other guests will eat the chocolate and drink the wine.

You know that defeats the purpose of a hostess gift, which is something special for the host(ess) for after the gathering? Let me guess, you are the guest that insists that the host opens your wine or put your flowers in a vase when s/he has her hands full with a party, and the wine doesn’t pair with the menu? No gifts also allows the host to avoid this nonsense too.

[Anonymous]

People need to respect others. That they have said what they mean and mean what they say.

[Anonymous]

Wine is gross. What's with everyone forcing wine on friends that don't want gifts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wine is gross. What's with everyone forcing wine on friends that don't want gifts?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still bring a gift. It’s just common courtesy. I don’t bring stuff that’s ridiculous though. Something tasteful like some crystal or a vase or something elegant.

Nobody wants the crystal or a vase. And can you imagine if multiple people brought them crystal or a vase?

I always bring a decorative item for the home and the recipients always love it. I guess it’s something higher class people do, as I was brought up that way

How do you know they love it? Of course they say that.

They are being polite. These gifts are the worst. No one wants you decorating their home. The wine is better, at least it is consumables. Your high class gifts are being donated.

[Anonymous]

We regularly host a New Years day open house since it is also my birthday. We say no gifts, but are appreciative when they bring wine / champagne.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still bring a gift. It’s just common courtesy. I don’t bring stuff that’s ridiculous though. Something tasteful like some crystal or a vase or something elegant.

Nobody wants the crystal or a vase. And can you imagine if multiple people brought them crystal or a vase?

I always bring a decorative item for the home and the recipients always love it. I guess it’s something higher class people do, as I was brought up that way

How do you know they love it? Of course they say that.

I don’t give cheesy trashy things. I know what they will love and want.

+1

People at out high income level bring gifts

[Anonymous]

Bring a card and small host gift. Like wine or fancy olive oils.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still bring a gift. It’s just common courtesy. I don’t bring stuff that’s ridiculous though. Something tasteful like some crystal or a vase or something elegant.

Nobody wants the crystal or a vase. And can you imagine if multiple people brought them crystal or a vase?

I always bring a decorative item for the home and the recipients always love it. I guess it’s something higher class people do, as I was brought up that way

How do you know they love it? Of course they say that.

They are being polite. These gifts are the worst. No one wants you decorating their home. The wine is better, at least it is consumables. Your high class gifts are being donated.

+1 I’m laughing at this. High class? Showing up with crystal when they said no gifts is rude and poor manners. You’ll make the host and other guests uncomfortable. If you insist, bring something more modest like wine or flowers, or chocolates.

[Anonymous]

Older people like gifts that can be used. Like food, wine, flowers. Something with an expiration date. The have enough things !