If your kid asks how they played, do you tell the truth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Say, I'm not sure, then ask open ended questions.

Why at the end of the 1st you sent it long, when you could have possessed?
When you took it to the goal should you have taken 1 less touch?
What happened with the corner kick?


I think an average 13 year old (after an eye roll) will interpret this series of questions as:
1. poor passing choice at the end of the 1st.
2. shoot earlier on goal.
3. bad corner kick.

I agree. This person must have a much younger kid, or be seriously underestimating the intelligence of your average U13 kid.

Also, a kid that knows the game will say

1. We decided to play defense we were up by 1, we only had 2 minutes on the clock and we didn't want to go into 1/2 time tied.
2. I thought the goalie would come out, he didn't so yea in hindsight probably could have shot.
3. I jumped too high it hit my chest instead of my head.

They know, they are smart, their coach is the person that should give them feedback.

Not true at all the coach , the teammates, and the family. are all a part of the athletes support team. All should play a part in helping the athlete. All should provide feedback

No you should provide support not feedback.

Uh huh. Yeah. Sure. Thanks Coach. Parenting is fine. Parenting includes feedback. Constructive feedback. School, sports, life. You should try it sometimes.

You are the problem in youth sports.

No, actually. You are.

I know you are but what am I.

Keep critiquing your kid, Enjoy an f’d up relationship.

Constructive, unemotional and unbiased feedback. Not criticism, not anger, not shame, not resentfulness. You do your kid no favor by only blowing sunshine up their arse. There are ways to parent and offer positive and constructive feedback. Parents have been doing this for thousands of years. There’s a term for it called “parenting”. Don’t let the Soccer Wire, dime store magazine pshirinks, and club directors tell you otherwise. Also, don’t assume that the coach is doing a good job either. Most coaches are not schooled in kid psychology. Most have an undergraduate degree, or in their 20s, don’t have kids and don’t know much more than the soccer they learned as a player. But, hey be a sheep. Follow those that are leading you around blindly just to get into your wallet. You do you.

Oh you’re one of those parents that knows more than the coach OK all right good luck with that.

My therapist make $400 an hour

“Your therapist.” That tells me all I need to know. And yes, I do know more about parenting than the coach. Much more. It’s funny that you think otherwise. Sheep. You’re mere sheep.

Your not parenting you are coaching.

Good job trying to shame somebody in therapy. That tells me all I need to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Say, I'm not sure, then ask open ended questions.

Why at the end of the 1st you sent it long, when you could have possessed?
When you took it to the goal should you have taken 1 less touch?
What happened with the corner kick?


I think an average 13 year old (after an eye roll) will interpret this series of questions as:
1. poor passing choice at the end of the 1st.
2. shoot earlier on goal.
3. bad corner kick.

I agree. This person must have a much younger kid, or be seriously underestimating the intelligence of your average U13 kid.

Also, a kid that knows the game will say

1. We decided to play defense we were up by 1, we only had 2 minutes on the clock and we didn't want to go into 1/2 time tied.
2. I thought the goalie would come out, he didn't so yea in hindsight probably could have shot.
3. I jumped too high it hit my chest instead of my head.

They know, they are smart, their coach is the person that should give them feedback.

Not true at all the coach , the teammates, and the family. are all a part of the athletes support team. All should play a part in helping the athlete. All should provide feedback

No you should provide support not feedback.

Uh huh. Yeah. Sure. Thanks Coach. Parenting is fine. Parenting includes feedback. Constructive feedback. School, sports, life. You should try it sometimes.

You are the problem in youth sports.

No, actually. You are.

I know you are but what am I.

Keep critiquing your kid, Enjoy an f’d up relationship.

Constructive, unemotional and unbiased feedback. Not criticism, not anger, not shame, not resentfulness. You do your kid no favor by only blowing sunshine up their arse. There are ways to parent and offer positive and constructive feedback. Parents have been doing this for thousands of years. There’s a term for it called “parenting”. Don’t let the Soccer Wire, dime store magazine pshirinks, and club directors tell you otherwise. Also, don’t assume that the coach is doing a good job either. Most coaches are not schooled in kid psychology. Most have an undergraduate degree, or in their 20s, don’t have kids and don’t know much more than the soccer they learned as a player. But, hey be a sheep. Follow those that are leading you around blindly just to get into your wallet. You do you.

Oh you’re one of those parents that knows more than the coach OK all right good luck with that.

My therapist make $400 an hour

“Your therapist.” That tells me all I need to know. And yes, I do know more about parenting than the coach. Much more. It’s funny that you think otherwise. Sheep. You’re mere sheep.

I agree. Unless the coach is a child psychologist or counselor, no one would know their child’s mental/physical well-being more than their parents. Note that there are times when the player doesn’t connect, dislikes, fear, etc. the coach and/or other players. Hence, unless you spend time talking to your DC, you would never know/understand that the true issue reason of their lack of performance on the field.

What causes the most psychological damage to a child is a parent telling their kid what they did wrong in the game especially since the parent isn’t qualified to comment.

You child can talk to you, you can’t coach your child.

Buts it’s completely okay for a coach to yell/berate a youth player during games, etc?

Give it up. Leave the parenting of other people’s DC to their parents. You are not qualified to give soccer coaching and/or child psychology lessons to anyone here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Say, I'm not sure, then ask open ended questions.

Why at the end of the 1st you sent it long, when you could have possessed?
When you took it to the goal should you have taken 1 less touch?
What happened with the corner kick?


I think an average 13 year old (after an eye roll) will interpret this series of questions as:
1. poor passing choice at the end of the 1st.
2. shoot earlier on goal.
3. bad corner kick.

I agree. This person must have a much younger kid, or be seriously underestimating the intelligence of your average U13 kid.

Also, a kid that knows the game will say

1. We decided to play defense we were up by 1, we only had 2 minutes on the clock and we didn't want to go into 1/2 time tied.
2. I thought the goalie would come out, he didn't so yea in hindsight probably could have shot.
3. I jumped too high it hit my chest instead of my head.

They know, they are smart, their coach is the person that should give them feedback.

Not true at all the coach , the teammates, and the family. are all a part of the athletes support team. All should play a part in helping the athlete. All should provide feedback

No you should provide support not feedback.

Uh huh. Yeah. Sure. Thanks Coach. Parenting is fine. Parenting includes feedback. Constructive feedback. School, sports, life. You should try it sometimes.

You are the problem in youth sports.

No, actually. You are.

I know you are but what am I.

Keep critiquing your kid, Enjoy an f’d up relationship.

Constructive, unemotional and unbiased feedback. Not criticism, not anger, not shame, not resentfulness. You do your kid no favor by only blowing sunshine up their arse. There are ways to parent and offer positive and constructive feedback. Parents have been doing this for thousands of years. There’s a term for it called “parenting”. Don’t let the Soccer Wire, dime store magazine pshirinks, and club directors tell you otherwise. Also, don’t assume that the coach is doing a good job either. Most coaches are not schooled in kid psychology. Most have an undergraduate degree, or in their 20s, don’t have kids and don’t know much more than the soccer they learned as a player. But, hey be a sheep. Follow those that are leading you around blindly just to get into your wallet. You do you.

Oh you’re one of those parents that knows more than the coach OK all right good luck with that.

My therapist make $400 an hour

“Your therapist.” That tells me all I need to know. And yes, I do know more about parenting than the coach. Much more. It’s funny that you think otherwise. Sheep. You’re mere sheep.

Your not parenting you are coaching.

Good job trying to shame somebody in therapy. That tells me all I need to know.

People in therapy should be shamed. What a waste of time and money - paying someone to do what friends are for. Only assholes get therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Say, I'm not sure, then ask open ended questions.

Why at the end of the 1st you sent it long, when you could have possessed?
When you took it to the goal should you have taken 1 less touch?
What happened with the corner kick?


I think an average 13 year old (after an eye roll) will interpret this series of questions as:
1. poor passing choice at the end of the 1st.
2. shoot earlier on goal.
3. bad corner kick.

I agree. This person must have a much younger kid, or be seriously underestimating the intelligence of your average U13 kid.

Also, a kid that knows the game will say

1. We decided to play defense we were up by 1, we only had 2 minutes on the clock and we didn't want to go into 1/2 time tied.
2. I thought the goalie would come out, he didn't so yea in hindsight probably could have shot.
3. I jumped too high it hit my chest instead of my head.

They know, they are smart, their coach is the person that should give them feedback.

Not true at all the coach , the teammates, and the family. are all a part of the athletes support team. All should play a part in helping the athlete. All should provide feedback

No you should provide support not feedback.

Uh huh. Yeah. Sure. Thanks Coach. Parenting is fine. Parenting includes feedback. Constructive feedback. School, sports, life. You should try it sometimes.

You are the problem in youth sports.

No, actually. You are.

I know you are but what am I.

Keep critiquing your kid, Enjoy an f’d up relationship.

Constructive, unemotional and unbiased feedback. Not criticism, not anger, not shame, not resentfulness. You do your kid no favor by only blowing sunshine up their arse. There are ways to parent and offer positive and constructive feedback. Parents have been doing this for thousands of years. There’s a term for it called “parenting”. Don’t let the Soccer Wire, dime store magazine pshirinks, and club directors tell you otherwise. Also, don’t assume that the coach is doing a good job either. Most coaches are not schooled in kid psychology. Most have an undergraduate degree, or in their 20s, don’t have kids and don’t know much more than the soccer they learned as a player. But, hey be a sheep. Follow those that are leading you around blindly just to get into your wallet. You do you.

Oh you’re one of those parents that knows more than the coach OK all right good luck with that.

My therapist make $400 an hour

“Your therapist.” That tells me all I need to know. And yes, I do know more about parenting than the coach. Much more. It’s funny that you think otherwise. Sheep. You’re mere sheep.

Your not parenting you are coaching.

Good job trying to shame somebody in therapy. That tells me all I need to know.

People in therapy should be shamed. What a waste of time and money - paying someone to do what friends are for. Only assholes get therapy.

You shouldn’t have children let alone give them advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Say, I'm not sure, then ask open ended questions.

Why at the end of the 1st you sent it long, when you could have possessed?
When you took it to the goal should you have taken 1 less touch?
What happened with the corner kick?


I think an average 13 year old (after an eye roll) will interpret this series of questions as:
1. poor passing choice at the end of the 1st.
2. shoot earlier on goal.
3. bad corner kick.

I agree. This person must have a much younger kid, or be seriously underestimating the intelligence of your average U13 kid.

Also, a kid that knows the game will say

1. We decided to play defense we were up by 1, we only had 2 minutes on the clock and we didn't want to go into 1/2 time tied.
2. I thought the goalie would come out, he didn't so yea in hindsight probably could have shot.
3. I jumped too high it hit my chest instead of my head.

They know, they are smart, their coach is the person that should give them feedback.

Not true at all the coach , the teammates, and the family. are all a part of the athletes support team. All should play a part in helping the athlete. All should provide feedback

No you should provide support not feedback.

Uh huh. Yeah. Sure. Thanks Coach. Parenting is fine. Parenting includes feedback. Constructive feedback. School, sports, life. You should try it sometimes.

You are the problem in youth sports.

No, actually. You are.

I know you are but what am I.

Keep critiquing your kid, Enjoy an f’d up relationship.

Constructive, unemotional and unbiased feedback. Not criticism, not anger, not shame, not resentfulness. You do your kid no favor by only blowing sunshine up their arse. There are ways to parent and offer positive and constructive feedback. Parents have been doing this for thousands of years. There’s a term for it called “parenting”. Don’t let the Soccer Wire, dime store magazine pshirinks, and club directors tell you otherwise. Also, don’t assume that the coach is doing a good job either. Most coaches are not schooled in kid psychology. Most have an undergraduate degree, or in their 20s, don’t have kids and don’t know much more than the soccer they learned as a player. But, hey be a sheep. Follow those that are leading you around blindly just to get into your wallet. You do you.

Oh you’re one of those parents that knows more than the coach OK all right good luck with that.

My therapist make $400 an hour

“Your therapist.” That tells me all I need to know. And yes, I do know more about parenting than the coach. Much more. It’s funny that you think otherwise. Sheep. You’re mere sheep.

I agree. Unless the coach is a child psychologist or counselor, no one would know their child’s mental/physical well-being more than their parents. Note that there are times when the player doesn’t connect, dislikes, fear, etc. the coach and/or other players. Hence, unless you spend time talking to your DC, you would never know/understand that the true issue reason of their lack of performance on the field.

What causes the most psychological damage to a child is a parent telling their kid what they did wrong in the game especially since the parent isn’t qualified to comment.

You child can talk to you, you can’t coach your child.

Buts it’s completely okay for a coach to yell/berate a youth player during games, etc?

Give it up. Leave the parenting of other people’s DC to their parents. You are not qualified to give soccer coaching and/or child psychology lessons to anyone here.

No it’s not okay fir a coach to yell and berate a child. And it’s not okay for a parent to tell their truth about how they played.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Say, I'm not sure, then ask open ended questions.

Why at the end of the 1st you sent it long, when you could have possessed?
When you took it to the goal should you have taken 1 less touch?
What happened with the corner kick?


I think an average 13 year old (after an eye roll) will interpret this series of questions as:
1. poor passing choice at the end of the 1st.
2. shoot earlier on goal.
3. bad corner kick.

I agree. This person must have a much younger kid, or be seriously underestimating the intelligence of your average U13 kid.

Also, a kid that knows the game will say

1. We decided to play defense we were up by 1, we only had 2 minutes on the clock and we didn't want to go into 1/2 time tied.
2. I thought the goalie would come out, he didn't so yea in hindsight probably could have shot.
3. I jumped too high it hit my chest instead of my head.

They know, they are smart, their coach is the person that should give them feedback.

Not true at all the coach , the teammates, and the family. are all a part of the athletes support team. All should play a part in helping the athlete. All should provide feedback

No you should provide support not feedback.

Uh huh. Yeah. Sure. Thanks Coach. Parenting is fine. Parenting includes feedback. Constructive feedback. School, sports, life. You should try it sometimes.

You are the problem in youth sports.

No, actually. You are.

I know you are but what am I.

Keep critiquing your kid, Enjoy an f’d up relationship.

Constructive, unemotional and unbiased feedback. Not criticism, not anger, not shame, not resentfulness. You do your kid no favor by only blowing sunshine up their arse. There are ways to parent and offer positive and constructive feedback. Parents have been doing this for thousands of years. There’s a term for it called “parenting”. Don’t let the Soccer Wire, dime store magazine pshirinks, and club directors tell you otherwise. Also, don’t assume that the coach is doing a good job either. Most coaches are not schooled in kid psychology. Most have an undergraduate degree, or in their 20s, don’t have kids and don’t know much more than the soccer they learned as a player. But, hey be a sheep. Follow those that are leading you around blindly just to get into your wallet. You do you.

Oh you’re one of those parents that knows more than the coach OK all right good luck with that.

My therapist make $400 an hour

“Your therapist.” That tells me all I need to know. And yes, I do know more about parenting than the coach. Much more. It’s funny that you think otherwise. Sheep. You’re mere sheep.

I agree. Unless the coach is a child psychologist or counselor, no one would know their child’s mental/physical well-being more than their parents. Note that there are times when the player doesn’t connect, dislikes, fear, etc. the coach and/or other players. Hence, unless you spend time talking to your DC, you would never know/understand that the true issue reason of their lack of performance on the field.

What causes the most psychological damage to a child is a parent telling their kid what they did wrong in the game especially since the parent isn’t qualified to comment.

You child can talk to you, you can’t coach your child.

Buts it’s completely okay for a coach to yell/berate a youth player during games, etc?

Give it up. Leave the parenting of other people’s DC to their parents. You are not qualified to give soccer coaching and/or child psychology lessons to anyone here.

No it’s not okay fir a coach to yell and berate a child. And it’s not okay for a parent to tell their truth about how they played.

So if the kid asks it is better to lie?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Say, I'm not sure, then ask open ended questions.

Why at the end of the 1st you sent it long, when you could have possessed?
When you took it to the goal should you have taken 1 less touch?
What happened with the corner kick?


I think an average 13 year old (after an eye roll) will interpret this series of questions as:
1. poor passing choice at the end of the 1st.
2. shoot earlier on goal.
3. bad corner kick.

I agree. This person must have a much younger kid, or be seriously underestimating the intelligence of your average U13 kid.

Also, a kid that knows the game will say

1. We decided to play defense we were up by 1, we only had 2 minutes on the clock and we didn't want to go into 1/2 time tied.
2. I thought the goalie would come out, he didn't so yea in hindsight probably could have shot.
3. I jumped too high it hit my chest instead of my head.

They know, they are smart, their coach is the person that should give them feedback.

Not true at all the coach , the teammates, and the family. are all a part of the athletes support team. All should play a part in helping the athlete. All should provide feedback

No you should provide support not feedback.

Uh huh. Yeah. Sure. Thanks Coach. Parenting is fine. Parenting includes feedback. Constructive feedback. School, sports, life. You should try it sometimes.

You are the problem in youth sports.

No, actually. You are.

I know you are but what am I.

Keep critiquing your kid, Enjoy an f’d up relationship.

Constructive, unemotional and unbiased feedback. Not criticism, not anger, not shame, not resentfulness. You do your kid no favor by only blowing sunshine up their arse. There are ways to parent and offer positive and constructive feedback. Parents have been doing this for thousands of years. There’s a term for it called “parenting”. Don’t let the Soccer Wire, dime store magazine pshirinks, and club directors tell you otherwise. Also, don’t assume that the coach is doing a good job either. Most coaches are not schooled in kid psychology. Most have an undergraduate degree, or in their 20s, don’t have kids and don’t know much more than the soccer they learned as a player. But, hey be a sheep. Follow those that are leading you around blindly just to get into your wallet. You do you.

Oh you’re one of those parents that knows more than the coach OK all right good luck with that.

My therapist make $400 an hour

“Your therapist.” That tells me all I need to know. And yes, I do know more about parenting than the coach. Much more. It’s funny that you think otherwise. Sheep. You’re mere sheep.

Your not parenting you are coaching.

Good job trying to shame somebody in therapy. That tells me all I need to know.

People in therapy should be shamed. What a waste of time and money - paying someone to do what friends are for. Only assholes get therapy.

You shouldn’t have children let alone give them advice.

Is that what your therapist told you? Trying thinking for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Say, I'm not sure, then ask open ended questions.

Why at the end of the 1st you sent it long, when you could have possessed?
When you took it to the goal should you have taken 1 less touch?
What happened with the corner kick?


I think an average 13 year old (after an eye roll) will interpret this series of questions as:
1. poor passing choice at the end of the 1st.
2. shoot earlier on goal.
3. bad corner kick.

I agree. This person must have a much younger kid, or be seriously underestimating the intelligence of your average U13 kid.

Also, a kid that knows the game will say

1. We decided to play defense we were up by 1, we only had 2 minutes on the clock and we didn't want to go into 1/2 time tied.
2. I thought the goalie would come out, he didn't so yea in hindsight probably could have shot.
3. I jumped too high it hit my chest instead of my head.

They know, they are smart, their coach is the person that should give them feedback.

Not true at all the coach , the teammates, and the family. are all a part of the athletes support team. All should play a part in helping the athlete. All should provide feedback

No you should provide support not feedback.

Uh huh. Yeah. Sure. Thanks Coach. Parenting is fine. Parenting includes feedback. Constructive feedback. School, sports, life. You should try it sometimes.

You are the problem in youth sports.

No, actually. You are.

I know you are but what am I.

Keep critiquing your kid, Enjoy an f’d up relationship.

Constructive, unemotional and unbiased feedback. Not criticism, not anger, not shame, not resentfulness. You do your kid no favor by only blowing sunshine up their arse. There are ways to parent and offer positive and constructive feedback. Parents have been doing this for thousands of years. There’s a term for it called “parenting”. Don’t let the Soccer Wire, dime store magazine pshirinks, and club directors tell you otherwise. Also, don’t assume that the coach is doing a good job either. Most coaches are not schooled in kid psychology. Most have an undergraduate degree, or in their 20s, don’t have kids and don’t know much more than the soccer they learned as a player. But, hey be a sheep. Follow those that are leading you around blindly just to get into your wallet. You do you.

Oh you’re one of those parents that knows more than the coach OK all right good luck with that.

My therapist make $400 an hour

“Your therapist.” That tells me all I need to know. And yes, I do know more about parenting than the coach. Much more. It’s funny that you think otherwise. Sheep. You’re mere sheep.

I agree. Unless the coach is a child psychologist or counselor, no one would know their child’s mental/physical well-being more than their parents. Note that there are times when the player doesn’t connect, dislikes, fear, etc. the coach and/or other players. Hence, unless you spend time talking to your DC, you would never know/understand that the true issue reason of their lack of performance on the field.

What causes the most psychological damage to a child is a parent telling their kid what they did wrong in the game especially since the parent isn’t qualified to comment.

You child can talk to you, you can’t coach your child.

Buts it’s completely okay for a coach to yell/berate a youth player during games, etc?

Give it up. Leave the parenting of other people’s DC to their parents. You are not qualified to give soccer coaching and/or child psychology lessons to anyone here.

No it’s not okay fir a coach to yell and berate a child. And it’s not okay for a parent to tell their truth about how they played.

So if the kid asks it is better to lie?

No, it is not. The posters that don't want you to talk to your kids are insecure coaches. They know that in many cases we know more than they do and that they are frauds, so they deflect and claim us parents (many of whom have played and coached also for many years) are unqualified. All so they can take some money from our pockets. Shame, shame, shame. Again - praise your kid and support them. Give them love. But don't blow smoke up their arse, and when the time is right, feel free to provide some observations and discuss. They need more than soccer advisor and from much of the coaching I've seen around here definitely more than these charlatans.

[Anonymous]

Feedback is good to build resilience.