If your kid asks how they played, do you tell the truth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS asked me how he played yesterday, and I responded, "you weren't bad, but you weren't your usual self either. Probably because you had trouble sleeping last night." DH is now claiming that I gave a mean answer to DS, and am not being encouraging. DS is 13 years old, and I feel like I gave a what I perceived as an accurate answer to a question that DS asked. I would never have said anything either way unless DS asked. Do people see anything wrong with my answer?

1. You are not a professional coach.
2. You did not play soccer professionally or in the Olympics
3. You suck as a parent

Get help.

DP. Your over the top response is ridiculous, and the PP is obviously the much better parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS asked me how he played yesterday, and I responded, "you weren't bad, but you weren't your usual self either. Probably because you had trouble sleeping last night." DH is now claiming that I gave a mean answer to DS, and am not being encouraging. DS is 13 years old, and I feel like I gave a what I perceived as an accurate answer to a question that DS asked. I would never have said anything either way unless DS asked. Do people see anything wrong with my answer?

1. You are not a professional coach.
2. You did not play soccer professionally or in the Olympics
3. You suck as a parent

Get help.

DP. Your over the top response is ridiculous, and the PP is obviously the much better parent.

Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Say, I'm not sure, then ask open ended questions.

Why at the end of the 1st you sent it long, when you could have possessed?
When you took it to the goal should you have taken 1 less touch?
What happened with the corner kick?


I think an average 13 year old (after an eye roll) will interpret this series of questions as:
1. poor passing choice at the end of the 1st.
2. shoot earlier on goal.
3. bad corner kick.

I agree. This person must have a much younger kid, or be seriously underestimating the intelligence of your average U13 kid.

Also, a kid that knows the game will say

1. We decided to play defense we were up by 1, we only had 2 minutes on the clock and we didn't want to go into 1/2 time tied.
2. I thought the goalie would come out, he didn't so yea in hindsight probably could have shot.
3. I jumped too high it hit my chest instead of my head.

They know, they are smart, their coach is the person that should give them feedback.

Not true at all the coach , the teammates, and the family. are all a part of the athletes support team. All should play a part in helping the athlete. All should provide feedback

No you should provide support not feedback.

Uh huh. Yeah. Sure. Thanks Coach. Parenting is fine. Parenting includes feedback. Constructive feedback. School, sports, life. You should try it sometimes.

You are the problem in youth sports.

No, actually. You are.

I know you are but what am I.

Keep critiquing your kid, Enjoy an f’d up relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Say, I'm not sure, then ask open ended questions.

Why at the end of the 1st you sent it long, when you could have possessed?
When you took it to the goal should you have taken 1 less touch?
What happened with the corner kick?


I think an average 13 year old (after an eye roll) will interpret this series of questions as:
1. poor passing choice at the end of the 1st.
2. shoot earlier on goal.
3. bad corner kick.

I agree. This person must have a much younger kid, or be seriously underestimating the intelligence of your average U13 kid.

Also, a kid that knows the game will say

1. We decided to play defense we were up by 1, we only had 2 minutes on the clock and we didn't want to go into 1/2 time tied.
2. I thought the goalie would come out, he didn't so yea in hindsight probably could have shot.
3. I jumped too high it hit my chest instead of my head.

They know, they are smart, their coach is the person that should give them feedback.

Not true at all the coach , the teammates, and the family. are all a part of the athletes support team. All should play a part in helping the athlete. All should provide feedback

No you should provide support not feedback.

Uh huh. Yeah. Sure. Thanks Coach. Parenting is fine. Parenting includes feedback. Constructive feedback. School, sports, life. You should try it sometimes.

You are the problem in youth sports.

No, actually. You are.

I know you are but what am I.

Keep critiquing your kid, Enjoy an f’d up relationship.

Constructive, unemotional and unbiased feedback. Not criticism, not anger, not shame, not resentfulness. You do your kid no favor by only blowing sunshine up their arse. There are ways to parent and offer positive and constructive feedback. Parents have been doing this for thousands of years. There’s a term for it called “parenting”. Don’t let the Soccer Wire, dime store magazine pshirinks, and club directors tell you otherwise. Also, don’t assume that the coach is doing a good job either. Most coaches are not schooled in kid psychology. Most have an undergraduate degree, or in their 20s, don’t have kids and don’t know much more than the soccer they learned as a player. But, hey be a sheep. Follow those that are leading you around blindly just to get into your wallet. You do you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Say, I'm not sure, then ask open ended questions.

Why at the end of the 1st you sent it long, when you could have possessed?
When you took it to the goal should you have taken 1 less touch?
What happened with the corner kick?


I think an average 13 year old (after an eye roll) will interpret this series of questions as:
1. poor passing choice at the end of the 1st.
2. shoot earlier on goal.
3. bad corner kick.

I agree. This person must have a much younger kid, or be seriously underestimating the intelligence of your average U13 kid.

Also, a kid that knows the game will say

1. We decided to play defense we were up by 1, we only had 2 minutes on the clock and we didn't want to go into 1/2 time tied.
2. I thought the goalie would come out, he didn't so yea in hindsight probably could have shot.
3. I jumped too high it hit my chest instead of my head.

They know, they are smart, their coach is the person that should give them feedback.

Not true at all the coach , the teammates, and the family. are all a part of the athletes support team. All should play a part in helping the athlete. All should provide feedback

No you should provide support not feedback.

Uh huh. Yeah. Sure. Thanks Coach. Parenting is fine. Parenting includes feedback. Constructive feedback. School, sports, life. You should try it sometimes.

You are the problem in youth sports.

No, actually. You are.

I know you are but what am I.

Keep critiquing your kid, Enjoy an f’d up relationship.

Constructive, unemotional and unbiased feedback. Not criticism, not anger, not shame, not resentfulness. You do your kid no favor by only blowing sunshine up their arse. There are ways to parent and offer positive and constructive feedback. Parents have been doing this for thousands of years. There’s a term for it called “parenting”. Don’t let the Soccer Wire, dime store magazine pshirinks, and club directors tell you otherwise. Also, don’t assume that the coach is doing a good job either. Most coaches are not schooled in kid psychology. Most have an undergraduate degree, or in their 20s, don’t have kids and don’t know much more than the soccer they learned as a player. But, hey be a sheep. Follow those that are leading you around blindly just to get into your wallet. You do you.

Oh you’re one of those parents that knows more than the coach OK all right good luck with that.

My therapist make $400 an hour

[Anonymous]

Leave the coaching and critiquing to the coaches. Kids need some positivity and support from parents, though these days it seems like parents are just another layer to hack away at kids' self-esteem.

Let's face it, most kids won't play professional, college or other. We're taking this too seriously. Let's have fun with it and let them enjoy sports. IF you want them to get some critiquing, have them show up early to practice and talk to coach. Not you. It's just hurtful from parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS asked me how he played yesterday, and I responded, "you weren't bad, but you weren't your usual self either. Probably because you had trouble sleeping last night." DH is now claiming that I gave a mean answer to DS, and am not being encouraging. DS is 13 years old, and I feel like I gave a what I perceived as an accurate answer to a question that DS asked. I would never have said anything either way unless DS asked. Do people see anything wrong with my answer?

I think your husband is a weeny. There is nothing mean about answering a question truthfully to a teenager who asked the question.

[Anonymous]

Our 2 kids (both DS) have never asked us how they played. DS1 is 18 and has played lacrosse, ice hockey, run cross country..DS2 is 15 and has played soccer, basketball, lacrosse...

They're already in self analysis mode by the time they get in the car and don't need my armchair analysis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS asked me how he played yesterday, and I responded, "you weren't bad, but you weren't your usual self either. Probably because you had trouble sleeping last night." DH is now claiming that I gave a mean answer to DS, and am not being encouraging. DS is 13 years old, and I feel like I gave a what I perceived as an accurate answer to a question that DS asked. I would never have said anything either way unless DS asked. Do people see anything wrong with my answer?

I think your husband is a weeny. There is nothing mean about answering a question truthfully to a teenager who asked the question.

Truthfully the answer was idiotic and provided no value.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS asked me how he played yesterday, and I responded, "you weren't bad, but you weren't your usual self either. Probably because you had trouble sleeping last night." DH is now claiming that I gave a mean answer to DS, and am not being encouraging. DS is 13 years old, and I feel like I gave a what I perceived as an accurate answer to a question that DS asked. I would never have said anything either way unless DS asked. Do people see anything wrong with my answer?

I think your husband is a weeny. There is nothing mean about answering a question truthfully to a teenager who asked the question.

Truthfully the answer was idiotic and provided no value.

Not every answer that a parent gives their own child is going to be thought of as good buy another parent or someone outside of the situation. She answered how she deemed fit. Hi think the issue for me is the fact that her husband said that her answer was mean. She gave her opinion and while it is clear she isn’t a soccer coach, she is a mom and gave her opinion which her child apparently values/asked for.

When my kids ask me something, I answer them truthfully. There is no point lying about it in my version of the truth might be different than someone else’s but I give them my honest opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Say, I'm not sure, then ask open ended questions.

Why at the end of the 1st you sent it long, when you could have possessed?
When you took it to the goal should you have taken 1 less touch?
What happened with the corner kick?


I think an average 13 year old (after an eye roll) will interpret this series of questions as:
1. poor passing choice at the end of the 1st.
2. shoot earlier on goal.
3. bad corner kick.

I agree. This person must have a much younger kid, or be seriously underestimating the intelligence of your average U13 kid.

Also, a kid that knows the game will say

1. We decided to play defense we were up by 1, we only had 2 minutes on the clock and we didn't want to go into 1/2 time tied.
2. I thought the goalie would come out, he didn't so yea in hindsight probably could have shot.
3. I jumped too high it hit my chest instead of my head.

They know, they are smart, their coach is the person that should give them feedback.

Not true at all the coach , the teammates, and the family. are all a part of the athletes support team. All should play a part in helping the athlete. All should provide feedback

No you should provide support not feedback.

Uh huh. Yeah. Sure. Thanks Coach. Parenting is fine. Parenting includes feedback. Constructive feedback. School, sports, life. You should try it sometimes.

You are the problem in youth sports.

No, actually. You are.

I know you are but what am I.

Keep critiquing your kid, Enjoy an f’d up relationship.

Constructive, unemotional and unbiased feedback. Not criticism, not anger, not shame, not resentfulness. You do your kid no favor by only blowing sunshine up their arse. There are ways to parent and offer positive and constructive feedback. Parents have been doing this for thousands of years. There’s a term for it called “parenting”. Don’t let the Soccer Wire, dime store magazine pshirinks, and club directors tell you otherwise. Also, don’t assume that the coach is doing a good job either. Most coaches are not schooled in kid psychology. Most have an undergraduate degree, or in their 20s, don’t have kids and don’t know much more than the soccer they learned as a player. But, hey be a sheep. Follow those that are leading you around blindly just to get into your wallet. You do you.

Oh you’re one of those parents that knows more than the coach OK all right good luck with that.

My therapist make $400 an hour

“Your therapist.” That tells me all I need to know. And yes, I do know more about parenting than the coach. Much more. It’s funny that you think otherwise. Sheep. You’re mere sheep.

[Anonymous]

While a good coach would know more than a typical parent but no one should know more about their DC emotions, personality, etc. then their parents. Hence, there are times when their DC needs emotional support/encouragement and there are times when they constructive criticisms in a calm manner.

There’s a reason why there’s a saying “the fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree”. (This could be good if the parents are great parents and horrible if the parents are terrible parents.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Say, I'm not sure, then ask open ended questions.

Why at the end of the 1st you sent it long, when you could have possessed?
When you took it to the goal should you have taken 1 less touch?
What happened with the corner kick?


I think an average 13 year old (after an eye roll) will interpret this series of questions as:
1. poor passing choice at the end of the 1st.
2. shoot earlier on goal.
3. bad corner kick.

I agree. This person must have a much younger kid, or be seriously underestimating the intelligence of your average U13 kid.

Also, a kid that knows the game will say

1. We decided to play defense we were up by 1, we only had 2 minutes on the clock and we didn't want to go into 1/2 time tied.
2. I thought the goalie would come out, he didn't so yea in hindsight probably could have shot.
3. I jumped too high it hit my chest instead of my head.

They know, they are smart, their coach is the person that should give them feedback.

Not true at all the coach , the teammates, and the family. are all a part of the athletes support team. All should play a part in helping the athlete. All should provide feedback

No you should provide support not feedback.

Uh huh. Yeah. Sure. Thanks Coach. Parenting is fine. Parenting includes feedback. Constructive feedback. School, sports, life. You should try it sometimes.

You are the problem in youth sports.

No, actually. You are.

I know you are but what am I.

Keep critiquing your kid, Enjoy an f’d up relationship.

Constructive, unemotional and unbiased feedback. Not criticism, not anger, not shame, not resentfulness. You do your kid no favor by only blowing sunshine up their arse. There are ways to parent and offer positive and constructive feedback. Parents have been doing this for thousands of years. There’s a term for it called “parenting”. Don’t let the Soccer Wire, dime store magazine pshirinks, and club directors tell you otherwise. Also, don’t assume that the coach is doing a good job either. Most coaches are not schooled in kid psychology. Most have an undergraduate degree, or in their 20s, don’t have kids and don’t know much more than the soccer they learned as a player. But, hey be a sheep. Follow those that are leading you around blindly just to get into your wallet. You do you.

Oh you’re one of those parents that knows more than the coach OK all right good luck with that.

My therapist make $400 an hour

“Your therapist.” That tells me all I need to know. And yes, I do know more about parenting than the coach. Much more. It’s funny that you think otherwise. Sheep. You’re mere sheep.

I agree. Unless the coach is a child psychologist or counselor, no one would know their child’s mental/physical well-being more than their parents. Note that there are times when the player doesn’t connect, dislikes, fear, etc. the coach and/or other players. Hence, unless you spend time talking to your DC, you would never know/understand that the true issue reason of their lack of performance on the field.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Say, I'm not sure, then ask open ended questions.

Why at the end of the 1st you sent it long, when you could have possessed?
When you took it to the goal should you have taken 1 less touch?
What happened with the corner kick?


I think an average 13 year old (after an eye roll) will interpret this series of questions as:
1. poor passing choice at the end of the 1st.
2. shoot earlier on goal.
3. bad corner kick.

I agree. This person must have a much younger kid, or be seriously underestimating the intelligence of your average U13 kid.

Also, a kid that knows the game will say

1. We decided to play defense we were up by 1, we only had 2 minutes on the clock and we didn't want to go into 1/2 time tied.
2. I thought the goalie would come out, he didn't so yea in hindsight probably could have shot.
3. I jumped too high it hit my chest instead of my head.

They know, they are smart, their coach is the person that should give them feedback.

Not true at all the coach , the teammates, and the family. are all a part of the athletes support team. All should play a part in helping the athlete. All should provide feedback

No you should provide support not feedback.

Uh huh. Yeah. Sure. Thanks Coach. Parenting is fine. Parenting includes feedback. Constructive feedback. School, sports, life. You should try it sometimes.

You are the problem in youth sports.

No, actually. You are.

I know you are but what am I.

Keep critiquing your kid, Enjoy an f’d up relationship.

Constructive, unemotional and unbiased feedback. Not criticism, not anger, not shame, not resentfulness. You do your kid no favor by only blowing sunshine up their arse. There are ways to parent and offer positive and constructive feedback. Parents have been doing this for thousands of years. There’s a term for it called “parenting”. Don’t let the Soccer Wire, dime store magazine pshirinks, and club directors tell you otherwise. Also, don’t assume that the coach is doing a good job either. Most coaches are not schooled in kid psychology. Most have an undergraduate degree, or in their 20s, don’t have kids and don’t know much more than the soccer they learned as a player. But, hey be a sheep. Follow those that are leading you around blindly just to get into your wallet. You do you.

Oh you’re one of those parents that knows more than the coach OK all right good luck with that.

My therapist make $400 an hour

“Your therapist.” That tells me all I need to know. And yes, I do know more about parenting than the coach. Much more. It’s funny that you think otherwise. Sheep. You’re mere sheep.

I agree. Unless the coach is a child psychologist or counselor, no one would know their child’s mental/physical well-being more than their parents. Note that there are times when the player doesn’t connect, dislikes, fear, etc. the coach and/or other players. Hence, unless you spend time talking to your DC, you would never know/understand that the true issue reason of their lack of performance on the field.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Say, I'm not sure, then ask open ended questions.

Why at the end of the 1st you sent it long, when you could have possessed?
When you took it to the goal should you have taken 1 less touch?
What happened with the corner kick?


I think an average 13 year old (after an eye roll) will interpret this series of questions as:
1. poor passing choice at the end of the 1st.
2. shoot earlier on goal.
3. bad corner kick.

I agree. This person must have a much younger kid, or be seriously underestimating the intelligence of your average U13 kid.

Also, a kid that knows the game will say

1. We decided to play defense we were up by 1, we only had 2 minutes on the clock and we didn't want to go into 1/2 time tied.
2. I thought the goalie would come out, he didn't so yea in hindsight probably could have shot.
3. I jumped too high it hit my chest instead of my head.

They know, they are smart, their coach is the person that should give them feedback.

Not true at all the coach , the teammates, and the family. are all a part of the athletes support team. All should play a part in helping the athlete. All should provide feedback

No you should provide support not feedback.

Uh huh. Yeah. Sure. Thanks Coach. Parenting is fine. Parenting includes feedback. Constructive feedback. School, sports, life. You should try it sometimes.

You are the problem in youth sports.

No, actually. You are.

I know you are but what am I.

Keep critiquing your kid, Enjoy an f’d up relationship.

Constructive, unemotional and unbiased feedback. Not criticism, not anger, not shame, not resentfulness. You do your kid no favor by only blowing sunshine up their arse. There are ways to parent and offer positive and constructive feedback. Parents have been doing this for thousands of years. There’s a term for it called “parenting”. Don’t let the Soccer Wire, dime store magazine pshirinks, and club directors tell you otherwise. Also, don’t assume that the coach is doing a good job either. Most coaches are not schooled in kid psychology. Most have an undergraduate degree, or in their 20s, don’t have kids and don’t know much more than the soccer they learned as a player. But, hey be a sheep. Follow those that are leading you around blindly just to get into your wallet. You do you.

Oh you’re one of those parents that knows more than the coach OK all right good luck with that.

My therapist make $400 an hour

“Your therapist.” That tells me all I need to know. And yes, I do know more about parenting than the coach. Much more. It’s funny that you think otherwise. Sheep. You’re mere sheep.

I agree. Unless the coach is a child psychologist or counselor, no one would know their child’s mental/physical well-being more than their parents. Note that there are times when the player doesn’t connect, dislikes, fear, etc. the coach and/or other players. Hence, unless you spend time talking to your DC, you would never know/understand that the true issue reason of their lack of performance on the field.

What causes the most psychological damage to a child is a parent telling their kid what they did wrong in the game especially since the parent isn’t qualified to comment.

You child can talk to you, you can’t coach your child.