Has your career affected your kids?

[Anonymous]

Has your chosen line of work ever impacted your child? I don’t mean time not spent together or missed games, performes, field trips etc. I mean your child has been shunned for what you do. For example, working at an organization like Planned Parenthood and your child attends catholic school. I’m in a similar position (and my DS is new to the school last year) and I can only think I am to blame. I gave it a year knowing transitions are hard, but now I’m considering a job change. I should note that I never flaunted where I worked but it’s on my LinkedIn and I am easy to google.

[Anonymous]

I work in the non-enforcement side of immigration. I basically act like I work at the CIA so my kids aren't shunned or ostracized from the current social media mobs.

[Anonymous]

We have had a couple birthday party invites rescinded recently with the excuse or “space constraints” although one was a home party that was drop off, so is one 4th grader really going to make a difference and we have had our email typed in wrong for a class party so we never got an invite.

-wife of a guy who works at DHS in an immigration division (and has for 15 years)

[Anonymous]

If you were inner circle in the current administration I would not want to be your friend because I think it means you are evil and immoral. However, I would treat your kid like any other kid because I try not to be evil and immoral myself. Ditto NRA and other immoral organizations.

If I simply disagreed (e.g., you were a staffer for the RNC), you'd be included in anything we do with other families.

[Anonymous]

I worry about this, but it hasn't happened that I know of. Both DH's and my job are linked to the Republican party (not the President) and we live in a very liberal neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you were inner circle in the current administration I would not want to be your friend because I think it means you are evil and immoral. However, I would treat your kid like any other kid because I try not to be evil and immoral myself. Ditto NRA and other immoral organizations.

If I simply disagreed (e.g., you were a staffer for the RNC), you'd be included in anything we do with other families.

Same. I'm ok with most Republicans. We don't associate with trump supporters. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you were inner circle in the current administration I would not want to be your friend because I think it means you are evil and immoral. However, I would treat your kid like any other kid because I try not to be evil and immoral myself. Ditto NRA and other immoral organizations.

If I simply disagreed (e.g., you were a staffer for the RNC), you'd be included in anything we do with other families.

Same. I'm ok with most Republicans. We don't associate with trump supporters. Period.

Can I ask how you inform them you won’t be associating? We hosted a large party and there were some trump people there (a couple from a few houses down). I had no idea, they are simply neighbors who never talked about work. Turns out other neighbors had a bit too much to drink and found out at the party and loudly yelled at them to get out. On one hand I’m mortified since it was a party at my house, on the other I would never have the guts to do it but I appreciate them kicking them out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you were inner circle in the current administration I would not want to be your friend because I think it means you are evil and immoral. However, I would treat your kid like any other kid because I try not to be evil and immoral myself. Ditto NRA and other immoral organizations.

If I simply disagreed (e.g., you were a staffer for the RNC), you'd be included in anything we do with other families.

Same. I'm ok with most Republicans. We don't associate with trump supporters. Period.

Can I ask how you inform them you won’t be associating? We hosted a large party and there were some trump people there (a couple from a few houses down). I had no idea, they are simply neighbors who never talked about work. Turns out other neighbors had a bit too much to drink and found out at the party and loudly yelled at them to get out. On one hand I’m mortified since it was a party at my house, on the other I would never have the guts to do it but I appreciate them kicking them out.

You and your neighbors sound horrible.

I would have asked the yelling guest to leave.

[Anonymous]

OP back and I want to steer this back on course. The response to many of these questions confirms my hypothesis. I like my job and have had some success here, but I also don’t want to have a child that resents me or thinks that I put a career before his happiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP back and I want to steer this back on course. The response to many of these questions confirms my hypothesis. I like my job and have had some success here, but I also don’t want to have a child that resents me or thinks that I put a career before his happiness.

Have you considered moving out to a place like Burke or Chantilly where people don't get so crazy about politics?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back and I want to steer this back on course. The response to many of these questions confirms my hypothesis. I like my job and have had some success here, but I also don’t want to have a child that resents me or thinks that I put a career before his happiness.

Have you considered moving out to a place like Burke or Chantilly where people don't get so crazy about politics?

The neighborhoods that have a higher concentration of military seem to have more reasonable folks with regards to politics.

You might have chosen a place with a good DC commute, but if the neighbors are horrid and cruel to your kids, a job change won't help that.

[Anonymous]

My DH worked for the Republicans in congress and the administration in the 80s-00s. It was a gentler time but it could still be awkward since our kids were at a very liberal school. I do think some of our "friends" from those days are now shunning us (even though I am a Democrat and DH is not a trump supporter) but it doesn't affect the kids at all. I've also been reluctant to invite particularly outspoken people to our house because I fear it could get ugly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back and I want to steer this back on course. The response to many of these questions confirms my hypothesis. I like my job and have had some success here, but I also don’t want to have a child that resents me or thinks that I put a career before his happiness.

Have you considered moving out to a place like Burke or Chantilly where people don't get so crazy about politics?

The neighborhoods that have a higher concentration of military seem to have more reasonable folks with regards to politics.

You might have chosen a place with a good DC commute, but if the neighbors are horrid and cruel to your kids, a job change won't help that.

That’s a good point however my child is in a local private. Due to where my office is, it would make for a rough commute to take my child into school then head down to the office. Unfortunately much of the meanness comes from school families since that is where most of his socializing occurs. It may be time to just pull him out and try something else. I really tied to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but maybe I was too forgiving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP back and I want to steer this back on course. The response to many of these questions confirms my hypothesis. I like my job and have had some success here, but I also don’t want to have a child that resents me or thinks that I put a career before his happiness.

Here's the thing: I work Dewy Sewem and Howe. I'm a legal secretary. I can tell people my employer, my job title OR get super vague and say "White-collar paper pusher like everyone else slogging through the day until we can put on our yoga pants and watch Real Housewives. Why do you think Alexis Bellino is being asked for spousal support?"

If you are telling your kid to tell people you were at Dewy, then you are asking for problems. Prep them on how to answer "What do your parents do?" and teach them it's okay to say "I'm supposed to say you can ask them directly."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back and I want to steer this back on course. The response to many of these questions confirms my hypothesis. I like my job and have had some success here, but I also don’t want to have a child that resents me or thinks that I put a career before his happiness.

Have you considered moving out to a place like Burke or Chantilly where people don't get so crazy about politics?

We have long since passed the point where it is about politics.

It is about basic human decency.