Has your career affected your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back and I want to steer this back on course. The response to many of these questions confirms my hypothesis. I like my job and have had some success here, but I also don’t want to have a child that resents me or thinks that I put a career before his happiness.

Have you considered moving out to a place like Burke or Chantilly where people don't get so crazy about politics?

We have long since passed the point where it is about politics.

It is about basic human decency.

Anyone who thinks it is okay to ostracize or worse to children in order to enact revenge on their parent's for their politics or for simply holding a job is certainly lacking in basic human decency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back and I want to steer this back on course. The response to many of these questions confirms my hypothesis. I like my job and have had some success here, but I also don’t want to have a child that resents me or thinks that I put a career before his happiness.

Here's the thing: I work Dewy Sewem and Howe. I'm a legal secretary. I can tell people my employer, my job title OR get super vague and say "White-collar paper pusher like everyone else slogging through the day until we can put on our yoga pants and watch Real Housewives. Why do you think Alexis Bellino is being asked for spousal support?"

If you are telling your kid to tell people you were at Dewy, then you are asking for problems. Prep them on how to answer "What do your parents do?" and teach them it's okay to say "I'm supposed to say you can ask them directly."

NP: In many circles people google you to size up their peers. I’m sure the OPs child isn’t walking around saying my mom is XYZ instead parents are probably looking her up and then telling people. Especially in the private school setting where people are always looking for donors. A LinkedIn page can be helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back and I want to steer this back on course. The response to many of these questions confirms my hypothesis. I like my job and have had some success here, but I also don’t want to have a child that resents me or thinks that I put a career before his happiness.

Have you considered moving out to a place like Burke or Chantilly where people don't get so crazy about politics?

The neighborhoods that have a higher concentration of military seem to have more reasonable folks with regards to politics.

You might have chosen a place with a good DC commute, but if the neighbors are horrid and cruel to your kids, a job change won't help that.

That’s a good point however my child is in a local private. Due to where my office is, it would make for a rough commute to take my child into school then head down to the office. Unfortunately much of the meanness comes from school families since that is where most of his socializing occurs. It may be time to just pull him out and try something else. I really tied to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but maybe I was too forgiving.

OP, if your kid's school is full of people who think they are taking a moral high ground by channeling their hatred or political angst against a child whose parent's work in a job they disagree with politically, then you quitting your job will do nothing for him.

His classmates parents have crossed a line of unkindness and irrational behavior that will be impossible for them to walk back, even if you quit your job to flip burgers.

If it were my kid, he would be in a different school come August. If you can move to a more moderate, reasonable area and put him into a larger public school with lots of neighborhood kids, then that will probably be the best option.

If not, maybe a parish type Catholic school would be better, even if it is not prestigious like I am assuming his current school is.

[Anonymous]

Not our jobs, but our political lawn signs have cost our family some friends.

[Anonymous]

No, my kids affected my career

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has your chosen line of work ever impacted your child? I don’t mean time not spent together or missed games, performes, field trips etc. I mean your child has been shunned for what you do. For example, working at an organization like Planned Parenthood and your child attends catholic school. I’m in a similar position (and my DS is new to the school last year) and I can only think I am to blame. I gave it a year knowing transitions are hard, but now I’m considering a job change. I should note that I never flaunted where I worked but it’s on my LinkedIn and I am easy to google.

Why not change the school?

[Anonymous]

Troll. Obvious troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has your chosen line of work ever impacted your child? I don’t mean time not spent together or missed games, performes, field trips etc. I mean your child has been shunned for what you do. For example, working at an organization like Planned Parenthood and your child attends catholic school. I’m in a similar position (and my DS is new to the school last year) and I can only think I am to blame. I gave it a year knowing transitions are hard, but now I’m considering a job change. I should note that I never flaunted where I worked but it’s on my LinkedIn and I am easy to google.

Why not change the school?

We are definitely considering that. Since he just completed his first year at the school I wanted to make sure we didn’t have too many changes, but he is at the age where this is a conversation we can have together. However, the protective Mom gene in me wanted to shield him from as much as possible. I am not sure the neighborhood school will be a great fit, but it’s worth investigating as well as looking at other options. To some degree I don’t think he realizes how much he is being left out, but from my perspective I hurt for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back and I want to steer this back on course. The response to many of these questions confirms my hypothesis. I like my job and have had some success here, but I also don’t want to have a child that resents me or thinks that I put a career before his happiness.

Here's the thing: I work Dewy Sewem and Howe. I'm a legal secretary. I can tell people my employer, my job title OR get super vague and say "White-collar paper pusher like everyone else slogging through the day until we can put on our yoga pants and watch Real Housewives. Why do you think Alexis Bellino is being asked for spousal support?"

If you are telling your kid to tell people you were at Dewy, then you are asking for problems. Prep them on how to answer "What do your parents do?" and teach them it's okay to say "I'm supposed to say you can ask them directly."

NP: In many circles people google you to size up their peers. I’m sure the OPs child isn’t walking around saying my mom is XYZ instead parents are probably looking her up and then telling people. Especially in the private school setting where people are always looking for donors. A LinkedIn page can be helpful.

Then she should make her social media private, and in terms of Google, oh well. But making social media private would give them 1-4 fewer places to find out what she does.

[Anonymous]

One of my kid’s friend’s fathers is the head of a very prominent conservative action group. Not a Trumper; more like a Tea Party-er, but truly horrific views on a few issues like immigration. (His wife is a liberal and even engages in minor activism — e.g., various marches — so I never ever would have guessed until I met the dad and recognized him from Fox News() Anyway, mom could obviously tell I was horrified even though I tried to cover. Super tentatively made plans for a few weeks later and I decided to try to avoid dad but otherwise ignore. Our kids are friends. I don’t want to teach my kid the wrong message about kids’ responsibility for their parents even if it means occasionally uncomfortable situations.

[Anonymous]

It has affected my kids, yes. I've flat out told my children that I do not want them to go into my profession. I don't think either of them will. One appears to be headed into medicine and the other into computer science type of a field.

[Anonymous]

I have Republican relatives, neighbors, colleagues and friends. I have had them all my life. (I have never been a Republican.)

I draw a very firm line at people who share infowars material, and who have expressed their support for the current parent/child separation.

If you are a white supremacist, I do not want you, or your children, around my family. There is a point where I am compelled to stand up and say no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have Republican relatives, neighbors, colleagues and friends. I have had them all my life. (I have never been a Republican.)

I draw a very firm line at people who share infowars material, and who have expressed their support for the current parent/child separation.

If you are a white supremacist, I do not want you, or your children, around my family. There is a point where I am compelled to stand up and say no.

+1 If you are a white supremacist, then I don’t want your kids around. My kids are not white and your kids deserve the same judgement you deal to other people.

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:Troll. Obvious troll.

Please don't hijack threads like this. I would normally just delete your post. But, in this case, I'm going to take the opportunity to say that I can see from where the OP is posting and she is definitely not a troll. I never thought I would feel sympathy for someone in the Trump Whitehouse, but in this case I do. OP, I probably disagree with you about everything politically. But, I'd try to be friends with both you and your kids.

[Anonymous]

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Troll. Obvious troll.

Please don't hijack threads like this. I would normally just delete your post. But, in this case, I'm going to take the opportunity to say that I can see from where the OP is posting and she is definitely not a troll. I never thought I would feel sympathy for someone in the Trump Whitehouse, but in this case I do. OP, I probably disagree with you about everything politically. But, I'd try to be friends with both you and your kids.

Thanks for clarifying this, Jeff.