Has your career affected your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back and I want to steer this back on course. The response to many of these questions confirms my hypothesis. I like my job and have had some success here, but I also don’t want to have a child that resents me or thinks that I put a career before his happiness.

Have you considered moving out to a place like Burke or Chantilly where people don't get so crazy about politics?

I live in Chantilly. I don’t know how people act where you live, but we have a lot of immigrants and a lot of politically active parents. Lots of feds. It’s hard to see people hanging with Trumpkins even in Chantilly.

The kids? Depends on the age. ES aged kids don’t deserve to be excluded because of what their parents do. My HS kids have their own beliefs and opinions. They are expected to be polite and civil to everyone. But we are way past the stage where I am forcing them to be friends with someone they don’t want to hang out with. Their call. Not mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back and I want to steer this back on course. The response to many of these questions confirms my hypothesis. I like my job and have had some success here, but I also don’t want to have a child that resents me or thinks that I put a career before his happiness.

Have you considered moving out to a place like Burke or Chantilly where people don't get so crazy about politics?

We have long since passed the point where it is about politics.

It is about basic human decency.

Anyone who thinks it is okay to ostracize or worse to children in order to enact revenge on their parent's for their politics or for simply holding a job is certainly lacking in basic human decency.

Politics is one thing. I respect people with different political views. I don’t want my kids to spend time around kids who grow up in households where the adults choose to perform a job that entails violating the basics of human decency. If your parents sign up to pull babies from their moms and put them in cages, that’s a dealbreaker.

I’m sure some of the kids of Nazis were really nice. Still don’t want my kid anywhere near the Nazi family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you were inner circle in the current administration I would not want to be your friend because I think it means you are evil and immoral. However, I would treat your kid like any other kid because I try not to be evil and immoral myself. Ditto NRA and other immoral organizations.

If I simply disagreed (e.g., you were a staffer for the RNC), you'd be included in anything we do with other families.

Same. I'm ok with most Republicans. We don't associate with trump supporters. Period.

How would you know if someone voted for Trump? I'm sure you associate with plenty of them but just don't know it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you were inner circle in the current administration I would not want to be your friend because I think it means you are evil and immoral. However, I would treat your kid like any other kid because I try not to be evil and immoral myself. Ditto NRA and other immoral organizations.

If I simply disagreed (e.g., you were a staffer for the RNC), you'd be included in anything we do with other families.

Same. I'm ok with most Republicans. We don't associate with trump supporters. Period.

Can I ask how you inform them you won’t be associating? We hosted a large party and there were some trump people there (a couple from a few houses down). I had no idea, they are simply neighbors who never talked about work. Turns out other neighbors had a bit too much to drink and found out at the party and loudly yelled at them to get out. On one hand I’m mortified since it was a party at my house, on the other I would never have the guts to do it but I appreciate them kicking them out.

You and your neighbors sound horrible.

I would have asked the yelling guest to leave.

+1,000
DCUM, you never disappoint. I can't even imagine wanting to associate with anyone who would loudly yell at me and kick me out of a party due to my political beliefs. Or who would condone a fellow guest doing that to me. Wow. What trashy people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back and I want to steer this back on course. The response to many of these questions confirms my hypothesis. I like my job and have had some success here, but I also don’t want to have a child that resents me or thinks that I put a career before his happiness.

Have you considered moving out to a place like Burke or Chantilly where people don't get so crazy about politics?

We have long since passed the point where it is about politics.

It is about basic human decency.

Anyone who thinks it is okay to ostracize or worse to children in order to enact revenge on their parent's for their politics or for simply holding a job is certainly lacking in basic human decency.

THIS. Some people have truly gone off the deep end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back and I want to steer this back on course. The response to many of these questions confirms my hypothesis. I like my job and have had some success here, but I also don’t want to have a child that resents me or thinks that I put a career before his happiness.

Have you considered moving out to a place like Burke or Chantilly where people don't get so crazy about politics?

The neighborhoods that have a higher concentration of military seem to have more reasonable folks with regards to politics.

You might have chosen a place with a good DC commute, but if the neighbors are horrid and cruel to your kids, a job change won't help that.

Military spouse here. Not an unreasonable idea. Is it a catholic school you are at? We live just outside the beltway in the Annandale/Burke/Springfield area and my kids are at a catholic school where I'd say it leans conservative but is politically mixed. We're new this year so I'm probably not super-aware of all the social nuances, but I couldn't imagine your child being ostracized like that at our school.

I will say on email typo, I did that to one parent for my son's bday party evite. My eyes are old, the print in that dang directory is so small! I caught it a week before the party, thankfully! My point is that could easily be an honest mistake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back and I want to steer this back on course. The response to many of these questions confirms my hypothesis. I like my job and have had some success here, but I also don’t want to have a child that resents me or thinks that I put a career before his happiness.

Have you considered moving out to a place like Burke or Chantilly where people don't get so crazy about politics?

We have long since passed the point where it is about politics.

It is about basic human decency.

Anyone who thinks it is okay to ostracize or worse to children in order to enact revenge on their parent's for their politics or for simply holding a job is certainly lacking in basic human decency.

Politics is one thing. I respect people with different political views. I don’t want my kids to spend time around kids who grow up in households where the adults choose to perform a job that entails violating the basics of human decency. If your parents sign up to pull babies from their moms and put them in cages, that’s a dealbreaker.

I’m sure some of the kids of Nazis were really nice. Still don’t want my kid anywhere near the Nazi family.

Your analogy is absurd. What is happening at the border, no matter what you think of it, bears no resemblance to what happened in nazi Germany. It even more absurd than people who claim abortion doctors are like the nazis, because at least there is an argument (that I don't agree with) that someone is being killed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back and I want to steer this back on course. The response to many of these questions confirms my hypothesis. I like my job and have had some success here, but I also don’t want to have a child that resents me or thinks that I put a career before his happiness.

Have you considered moving out to a place like Burke or Chantilly where people don't get so crazy about politics?

I live in Chantilly. I don’t know how people act where you live, but we have a lot of immigrants and a lot of politically active parents. Lots of feds. It’s hard to see people hanging with Trumpkins even in Chantilly.

The kids? Depends on the age. ES aged kids don’t deserve to be excluded because of what their parents do. My HS kids have their own beliefs and opinions. They are expected to be polite and civil to everyone. But we are way past the stage where I am forcing them to be friends with someone they don’t want to hang out with. Their call. Not mine.

From my experience, people in those outer areas are involved in real life and not going to ostracize children due to their parents' jobs or politics. The level of DC craziness has not permeated everything outside the beltway, which is a very good thing.

Areas like West Springfield, Burke, Clifton, etc are full of neighborhoods where people do not really care what your politics are and people who even if they care about politics, are not going to take it out on your kids.

If OP moves further out, she might have a sucky commute, but I can almost guarantee no one will ostracize her kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back and I want to steer this back on course. The response to many of these questions confirms my hypothesis. I like my job and have had some success here, but I also don’t want to have a child that resents me or thinks that I put a career before his happiness.

Have you considered moving out to a place like Burke or Chantilly where people don't get so crazy about politics?

We have long since passed the point where it is about politics.

It is about basic human decency.

Anyone who thinks it is okay to ostracize or worse to children in order to enact revenge on their parent's for their politics or for simply holding a job is certainly lacking in basic human decency.

Politics is one thing. I respect people with different political views. I don’t want my kids to spend time around kids who grow up in households where the adults choose to perform a job that entails violating the basics of human decency. If your parents sign up to pull babies from their moms and put them in cages, that’s a dealbreaker.

I’m sure some of the kids of Nazis were really nice. Still don’t want my kid anywhere near the Nazi family.

Your analogy is absurd. What is happening at the border, no matter what you think of it, bears no resemblance to what happened in nazi Germany. It even more absurd than people who claim abortion doctors are like the nazis, because at least there is an argument (that I don't agree with) that someone is being killed.

I am not saying that I agree with PP’s Nazi assertion on the merits at the moment, but the Nazis also didn’t start out with mass murder in the concentration camps. That came later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back and I want to steer this back on course. The response to many of these questions confirms my hypothesis. I like my job and have had some success here, but I also don’t want to have a child that resents me or thinks that I put a career before his happiness.

Have you considered moving out to a place like Burke or Chantilly where people don't get so crazy about politics?

The neighborhoods that have a higher concentration of military seem to have more reasonable folks with regards to politics.

You might have chosen a place with a good DC commute, but if the neighbors are horrid and cruel to your kids, a job change won't help that.

Military spouse here. Not an unreasonable idea. Is it a catholic school you are at? We live just outside the beltway in the Annandale/Burke/Springfield area and my kids are at a catholic school where I'd say it leans conservative but is politically mixed. We're new this year so I'm probably not super-aware of all the social nuances, but I couldn't imagine your child being ostracized like that at our school.

I will say on email typo, I did that to one parent for my son's bday party evite. My eyes are old, the print in that dang directory is so small! I caught it a week before the party, thankfully! My point is that could easily be an honest mistake.

New poster, in this area, we have been to social events with people from all political spectrums, from a huge Trump supporter from the south (kindest person in the neighborhood) to a very liberal political worker (outspoken and open with her politics), and everyone in between. Other than those two, I don't really know the politics of anyone else. No one else really discusses it. We talk about our aging parents, kids sports, who is doing what renovation, scouting, teachers, normal stuff. Everyone is cordial and friendly. Everyone's kids play together. No one gets shouted out of a party because of who they voted for or where they work.

Ironically, the very liberal person and the Trump supporter above are actually really good friends who hang out all the time. They have family nights together at the pool or firepit, watch each others' kids, chat while gardening or doing yardwork. They treat each other like people and not like a political meme.

OP, move your kid to a new school or move to a neighborhood with a variety a voters where politics do not encompass everything. Whatever you do, don't quit your job and leave your kid in that school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back and I want to steer this back on course. The response to many of these questions confirms my hypothesis. I like my job and have had some success here, but I also don’t want to have a child that resents me or thinks that I put a career before his happiness.

Have you considered moving out to a place like Burke or Chantilly where people don't get so crazy about politics?

I live in Chantilly. I don’t know how people act where you live, but we have a lot of immigrants and a lot of politically active parents. Lots of feds. It’s hard to see people hanging with Trumpkins even in Chantilly.

The kids? Depends on the age. ES aged kids don’t deserve to be excluded because of what their parents do. My HS kids have their own beliefs and opinions. They are expected to be polite and civil to everyone. But we are way past the stage where I am forcing them to be friends with someone they don’t want to hang out with. Their call. Not mine.

It sounds like OP is talking about little kids, because the invites and events she described (class parties, not enough room at the venue, being "accidentally" left off the class evite list) are all elementary events.

High schoolers manage their own social calendars, so I doubt OP would be posting if her kid was a teenager. OPs kid(s) is clearly and elementary kid getting bullied and left out by parents.

My experience with people in the suburbs (yes even folks from Chantilly) is that they (generally) do not let politics permeate every day life and certainly not to the point of ostracizing elementary kids. But if you as a resident of Chantilly think that you and other parents would ostracize a kid whose parents work for Trump, thanks for being honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back and I want to steer this back on course. The response to many of these questions confirms my hypothesis. I like my job and have had some success here, but I also don’t want to have a child that resents me or thinks that I put a career before his happiness.

Have you considered moving out to a place like Burke or Chantilly where people don't get so crazy about politics?

We have long since passed the point where it is about politics.

It is about basic human decency.

Anyone who thinks it is okay to ostracize or worse to children in order to enact revenge on their parent's for their hope for a better life or for simply wanting a job is certainly lacking in basic human decency.

There. Fixed that for you.

[Anonymous]

I’m frustrated when anyone says they won’t associate with someone in the White House or high-up in the administration. I work in politics (I’m a Never-Trump Republican) and know plenty of very smart people in those jobs not because they are lock-step with the President but because they are knowledgeable and had respect for the position despite the president. Many spend a lot of time behind the scenes trying to stop the more radical policies of the administration. The President loves having wars of ideas among his staff, so unless they’re really outspoken you can’t know where someone is on the spectrum or why they’re in the job. And of course many grow frustrated and leave, both because the White House and agencies are disorganized and they’re being socially ostracized/disrespected. The crazy ideologues are winning, in part because of these attitudes. In any administration, we should hope that the president is able to have smart, moderating people around him/her.

[Anonymous]

I am a Democrat whose kid goes to a school with a lot of super liberal parents (think Waldorf type scene except school is public). I lobby for an organization that is widely hated by Democrats (think the coal industry). And I really don’t think anyone holds it against me. Even fellow patents who work for advocacy groups on the other side. If anything we joke about it. So it may have to do with being a republican and working for Trump.

That said I totally agree with the PP who said we should all hope that smart reasonable republicans will work for this administration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back and I want to steer this back on course. The response to many of these questions confirms my hypothesis. I like my job and have had some success here, but I also don’t want to have a child that resents me or thinks that I put a career before his happiness.

Have you considered moving out to a place like Burke or Chantilly where people don't get so crazy about politics?

We have long since passed the point where it is about politics.

It is about basic human decency.

Anyone who thinks it is okay to ostracize or worse to children in order to enact revenge on their parent's for their hope for a better life or for simply wanting a job is certainly lacking in basic human decency.

There. Fixed that for you.

You know, you can be against poor treatment of children in all situations, from the illegal immigrant children far away at the border, to the ignorant treatment of OPs kid right here in your own DC bubble.