He’s my boyfriend...but they call him my husband/spouse

[Anonymous]

About a year ago I moved in with my boyfriend of 1.5 years. Everyone (my aunt, BF’s aunt, my moms cousin, and other people) keep calling my BF my “marido” which translates into husband in English. I’m really annoyed because they’re all “old school” and “traditional” so they don’t believe in living together before marriage. I always correct them and tell them he’s my boyfriend because I think it’s rude to refer to someone as “husband” when we’re not married. I think they’re all upset that I’m living in a “free union” according to my moms cousin. They think it’s wrong and they basically call him my husband because they think we’re playing house without having to actually commit through marriage. No matter how many times I correct them and tell them he’s my boyfriend, they never correct themselves. Its annoying and I’m getting really tired of it because they think their lives are so perfect and they can judge me. My aunt is addicted to hard drugs, my BF’s aunt also lives with her boyfriend even though they’re unmarried, my moms cousin has an abusive alcoholic husband. So , every time they say he’s my husband I feel like throwing a low blow and reminding them of their situation. I feel like instead of worrying about my life they should focus on their messed up situation.
Next week is my cousins birthday party and if someone calls my BF my husband one more time, I swear I will say something because I’m tired of it.
Has anyone been in this situation? Literally EVERYONE in my family, (besides some of my cousins), refer to him as my husband and I’m fed up with it.

[Anonymous]

You need to let it go.

[Anonymous]

My husband is Latino and this is totally normal. And marido can mean partner, not exactly esposo. We know plenty of unmarried Latinos that still use those titles when unmarried. We even had kids before marrying and everyone just used those titles for us, including my white who had no judgement. Not sure why it matters.

[Anonymous]

So correct them if you feel it’s important.

In 5 years you will want to remind them he’s your partner or husband or whatever.

Consider the fact that they are at least acknowledging your relationship. This rarely goes perfectly, no matter which side of the fence you’re on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to let it go.

+1

You should be happy that they are so inclusive, since that is about the big stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is Latino and this is totally normal. And marido can mean partner, not exactly esposo. We know plenty of unmarried Latinos that still use those titles when unmarried. We even had kids before marrying and everyone just used those titles for us, including my white who had no judgement. Not sure why it matters.

I just think it’s rude because I have corrected them many times and have said that I would like them to call him my boyfriend. And no, they don’t mean partner, they mean spouse/husband and are being petty about it. They don’t say it out of respect, they say it from a place of disrespectful and inconsideration.

[Anonymous]

My first cousin is cohabitating and coparenting with her boyfriend. I tell my kids he is her husband. It’s simpler, and I just don’t want to get into it with my kids on why I think this is a terrible idea for my cousin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So correct them if you feel it’s important.

In 5 years you will want to remind them he’s your partner or husband or whatever.

Consider the fact that they are at least acknowledging your relationship. This rarely goes perfectly, no matter which side of the fence you’re on.

I hve corrected him multiple times. I’m tired of doing it. I have emphasized that I would like him to be called my boyfriend, because I have been asked my multiple people if I’m married because my family members have been talking around to other non family members.

[Anonymous]

You can tell them how to refer to your bf without turning the tables. No need to bring up all that extra drama just to make a point.

Next time and every time it happens - simply correct them. "Hey Auntie - no need to move so quickly - I'm not married yet, he's my boyfriend. And then keep it moving. Do that enough times they will get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My first cousin is cohabitating and coparenting with her boyfriend. I tell my kids he is her husband. It’s simpler, and I just don’t want to get into it with my kids on why I think this is a terrible idea for my cousin.

No. You should not say that. It’s her boyfriend. My best friends aunt has a child who’s 8, and she asked my sister if I’m married because apparently everyone in my family calls my bf my spouse and people think I’ve gotten married. I’ve had to explain to other friends and distant family members that I’m not married. So in my case people think I’ve actually gotten married all because they can’t rwfer to my bf as my bf.
Op

[Anonymous]

This doesn't seem like a big deal in the grand scheme of things, except that it's annoying and rude of them.

My MIL's sister no longer speaks to her because my DH and I (and my SIL and her husband) lived together before marriage. F her and her small mind.

[Anonymous]

How old are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are you?

Op here and I’m turning 23 in July

[Anonymous]

You can't control over people, OP. Just ignore. Don't make it a big deal. If people ask if you are married, just say no. You are turning this into a much bigger deal than it needs to be.

[Anonymous]

over should be other. You can't control other people.