Wife is jealous over a conversation I had

[Anonymous]

I just got home....my wife was accusing me of flirting with someone else based on a call she got from a friend.

My story: I WAS UP LATE LAST NIGHT (#ALLCAPS), and went to work early this morning. I left work early because I was tired.

I decided to get some coffee at the coffee shop near our house. While waiting for my drink I noticed a younger woman wearing a shirt which suggested we are in the same field of the sciences. I said, Are you a (insert career field)?, And she said yes. I am one too. We got to talking, and talked for about 1/2 hours, mostly about what we do, and things like that. In her career, she is doing the kind of work my daughter is interested in, so I mentioned that, and she went to a school that DD was interested (with the major she is interested in). We were chatting about that, and some more stuff in general. I do not think it was flirty (I can not really tell), but, I made my age clear, in that it is clear I am about her parents age. I made no innuendos. Really, friendly profession chatting. I made it clear I was married.

A friend of my wife saw us, and called my wife asking about the young lady I was with.

When I got home, I was asked. I told her. She said she did not want me hanging around with younger women, and that I was clearly trying to set up a date. I was not. I do not think the younger woman thought I was (I could be wrong, as I am someone clueless). I told her that. Then I made my mistake. I said, if I was going to do something, do you think I would do it our town, where everyone knows everyone else?

Now, she thinks that A) this woman meant nothing to me (true), and B) I might be flirting, but only in places I could get away with it.

Oh, we have been together for over 20 years. For some reason, she thinks younger women would find me attractive. I am 55, overweight (but tall, 6'2", 260+ lbs), and my hair is mostly there and mostly original color. But, I am overweight. Oh, and the plumbing no longer works (wife does not know it, because she has not tried it in over a year, when it worked).

[Anonymous]

She is embarrassed by the call from her meddlesome and ridiculous friend. She doesn’t really think some hot your big thing wants to do you.

[Anonymous]

I think it is reviving something in her to think that you might?

Don't know, really. This seems like such a typical senior professional - younger professional interaction. Would you have noticed the t-shirt if the wearer had not been young and pretty? Perhaps not, but that's FINE.

[Anonymous]

Your wife's friend is a drama queen and your wife is insecure about the fact that she's aging.

[Anonymous]

WTF crazy friend?! I would think it was super weird if a friend called to tell me she *gasp* saw my husband talking to someone in public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is reviving something in her to think that you might?

Don't know, really. This seems like such a typical senior professional - younger professional interaction. Would you have noticed the t-shirt if the wearer had not been young and pretty? Perhaps not, but that's FINE.

Yes. I would have. It was a pleasant conversation. I have had similar ones with younger men too.

[Anonymous]

Were you attracted to her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Were you attracted to her?

I was not talking to her because she was attractive or not.

[Anonymous]

Fix the plumbing and fix your relationship. After a year of no sex she may be thinking you're looking elsewhere.....or maybe she is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Were you attracted to her?

What a strange and irrelevant question

[Anonymous]

That is very embarrassing for your wife!

[Anonymous]

Maybe your wife is guilty of something, this is a strange accusation.

[Anonymous]

What a total waste of 30+ mins when you're tired.

[Anonymous]

Did you exchange numbers?

I think the issue is that you talked for 30+ minutes, so presumably you sat down. That’s what looks bad- you left work early, then spent a long period time having a sit-down conversation with another woman. If it had been a quick 2 minute chat while waiting for your drinks, that would be entirely different. Even if your intentions were innocent, it looks like you intentionally left work early to have a long coffee date.

Next time keep the chat brief

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you exchange numbers?

I think the issue is that you talked for 30+ minutes, so presumably you sat down. That’s what looks bad- you left work early, then spent a long period time having a sit-down conversation with another woman. If it had been a quick 2 minute chat while waiting for your drinks, that would be entirely different. Even if your intentions were innocent, it looks like you intentionally left work early to have a long coffee date.

Next time keep the chat brief

Should also add, if you’re tired enough to leave work early, you’re tired enough to skip the long conversations over coffee.