What Do you Say to Inappropriately Prying, Nosy Parents about College Acceptances?

[Anonymous]

Literally, what is a good response? I have a SIL who I usually rarely see (once a year, maybe). But this year she is all over me! She is a huge show-off and a busybody. She has made it her business to pepper me with questions about my DS's college process this year. I have a neighbor who is the same way. I just do not want to give them the satisfaction because it's none of their business.

Does anyone know a good response to these types?

[Anonymous]

Once DC picks, say s/he selected their top choice and you all are so excited.

[Anonymous]

Why do you consider this to be nosy? Maybe they are genuinely interested? I am in the process now, and when someone asks us how it is going, it doesn't bother me in the least. It means they are trying to make conversation about a big stage in my child's life. It's no different than them asking about other events like how was the first day of kindergarten, or how does he like middle school, or how are the driving lessons going. I just don't get why people are so ultra sensitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you consider this to be nosy? Maybe they are genuinely interested? I am in the process now, and when someone asks us how it is going, it doesn't bother me in the least. It means they are trying to make conversation about a big stage in my child's life. It's no different than them asking about other events like how was the first day of kindergarten, or how does he like middle school, or how are the driving lessons going. I just don't get why people are so ultra sensitive.

+1

[Anonymous]

Bounce it back: "That's an interesting question -- is that something Larla had to deal with?" If the question is just an excuse for her to brag about her kid, give it to her. Do a lot of mm-hmming

Shut it down: "We're trying not to pay any more attention to the process than we have to. We don't want to be those people whose lives narrow down to one kid's college process! So we're taking a lot of breaks from thinking about it. Can't wait for the new Avengers movie!"

[Anonymous]

"DS is an adult now so I'm going to be talking and sharing less about what he does. He can discuss if he wants"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bounce it back: "That's an interesting question -- is that something Larla had to deal with?" If the question is just an excuse for her to brag about her kid, give it to her. Do a lot of mm-hmming

Shut it down: "We're trying not to pay any more attention to the process than we have to. We don't want to be those people whose lives narrow down to one kid's college process! So we're taking a lot of breaks from thinking about it. Can't wait for the new Avengers movie!"

Thank you! I am looking for ways to shut it down completely. These questions are coming from competitive types--they are not asking out of genuine concern or friendliness--I wish I had better responses for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once DC picks, say s/he selected their top choice and you all are so excited.

And then they say "oh really, where???"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bounce it back: "That's an interesting question -- is that something Larla had to deal with?" If the question is just an excuse for her to brag about her kid, give it to her. Do a lot of mm-hmming

Shut it down: "We're trying not to pay any more attention to the process than we have to. We don't want to be those people whose lives narrow down to one kid's college process! So we're taking a lot of breaks from thinking about it. Can't wait for the new Avengers movie!"

Thank you! I am looking for ways to shut it down completely. These questions are coming from competitive types--they are not asking out of genuine concern or friendliness--I wish I had better responses for them.

+1
I know of one person in particular, who seems to think her son and my son have been in competition throughout high school (they haven't been - it's all in her head). She's dying to know where my son is going to college, and so far, I've avoided telling her. So nosy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"DS is an adult now so I'm going to be talking and sharing less about what he does. He can discuss if he wants"

Yes, that's not snotty, aloof, or just plain odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you consider this to be nosy? Maybe they are genuinely interested? I am in the process now, and when someone asks us how it is going, it doesn't bother me in the least. It means they are trying to make conversation about a big stage in my child's life. It's no different than them asking about other events like how was the first day of kindergarten, or how does he like middle school, or how are the driving lessons going. I just don't get why people are so ultra sensitive.

+1

+2 They are asking these questions because it is a common experience that parents go through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once DC picks, say s/he selected their top choice and you all are so excited.

And then they say "oh really, where???"

And you...tell them????

What's with the cloak and dagger around college attendance? I can see not sharing until your child decides, because it is their business, but after that I don't understand why it would be a secret. Unless you are embarrassed by where they are going, in which case you have bigger problems than a nosy neighbor.

[Anonymous]

I don't want to say something that encourages more prying--but don't want to be rude. I didn't realize my SIL had been having this little competition in her head all these years, but this year it is clear to me that she does. My neighbor has always been openly competitive--it's a hand to hand combat sport for her.

[Anonymous]

I can find something good to say or think about any college. It might be these people just don't know what to talk to you about. They encourage you to talk about your kids -whatever the current milestone is- because otherwise you wouldn't talk to them at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bounce it back: "That's an interesting question -- is that something Larla had to deal with?" If the question is just an excuse for her to brag about her kid, give it to her. Do a lot of mm-hmming

Shut it down: "We're trying not to pay any more attention to the process than we have to. We don't want to be those people whose lives narrow down to one kid's college process! So we're taking a lot of breaks from thinking about it. Can't wait for the new Avengers movie!"

Thank you! I am looking for ways to shut it down completely. These questions are coming from competitive types--they are not asking out of genuine concern or friendliness--I wish I had better responses for them.

+1
I know of one person in particular, who seems to think her son and my son have been in competition throughout high school (they haven't been - it's all in her head). She's dying to know where my son is going to college, and so far, I've avoided telling her. So nosy.

You plan to keep this a deep, dark secret...forever? "My son is coming home tomorrow for Christmas break!" "Really? That's great, what school is he attending?" "Urrrrgh!!! NONE of your business lady! Stop being sooo nosy!!"