What Do you Say to Inappropriately Prying, Nosy Parents about College Acceptances?

[Anonymous]

If the kid hasn't decided/isn't ready to announce his decision (which indicates indecisiveness on his part) say: He's still deciding.

If you are simply clammed up because you aren't thrilled with your kid's choice in school, it's better to just spit it out. Start getting used to saying it now or it's going to be a L-O-N-G four years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm happy for everyone and assume every student will end up at a place that will welcome them and serve them well.

If you want me to be apologetic that my kid's school isn't as highly ranked as your kid's school, or for me to be awe-struck that your kid got into School X, you're out of luck.

No one is saying that you should; calm down Helen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it because your kid got accepted to what DCUM considers a mediocre school? Just own it!

This whole thread is funny! I am going thru this now as a friend is being really quiet about his DC's college acceptances and I'm the type that is okay with announcing news to the world because I feel good about where our DC got accepted. Here's the interesting thing. Friend would be clamoring from the rooftops if his DC had good prospects for college. But I know that is not the case. So when things are good for the friend, the friend is open and happy to share news. But when things are not as positive, then it becomes a silent game and I am seen as bragging about my DC. Honestly, I cannot win, but I guarantee you that if friend's DC had done better in high school, friend would be shouting from the rooftops right now/victory lapping about DC's college pick!

^^you sound like a very smug sort of person. I wouldn't tell you anything--and you would judge me for that.

Smug as it may possibly sound to you (and I am a very nice person), I will never apologize for sharing any family news -- good or bad -- to others where I see fit. This is my happiness and my feeling of pride. If others internalize my happiness as their failure, this is on them because I am only broadcasting my joy. If I am cordial and kind to others, but happened to be a person who gets excited about my own life, people like you will always see anything I say as smugness. If I bought new shoes and shared the news with everyone, I can hear you say "oh she's so smug." If I got that great big house that I worked my butt off for 20 years and smiled telling people the story about how I saved every last penny, I can hear you say "she thinks she's so cool with her new big house." You are a downer. And so is my friend, who has no problem telling everyone he knows that he grew up in a tony location in the U.S. that is very popular in the media and rich travel circles...or that he does this and that or has this advantage or that advantage...my friend can dish it when he's top dog but really wants everyone to be respectful and silent when others attain something that he perhaps wanted and did not get-- such as in this case of a good college choice for DC. So I don't think I'm the one with the problem -- I share the good and bad and eat my humble pie if needed. It's my friend who only wants to share the good and get the heaps of praise when he's accomplishing what he feels is important, and then wants everyone to play considerate and mindful when things do not go his way. I hope you are not that person too.

I can see how it would be hurtful that this friend can't seem to share in your good news after you've spent years slapping him on the back for his own good news. That would be disappointing.

It is disappointing. I have definitely given many heaps of praise for the tony home or the cool vacation or great promotion. But was greeted with silence about my DC's results. It sort of gives me a lot of insights into the friendship.

[Anonymous]

I would just tell them you don't believe in college and DC is taking a roofing job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"DS is an adult now so I'm going to be talking and sharing less about what he does. He can discuss if he wants"

OMG - if only my Mom would have learned this when I was 18.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"DS is an adult now so I'm going to be talking and sharing less about what he does. He can discuss if he wants"

OMG - if only my Mom would have learned this when I was 18.

eh, as a senior in HS the kid is still under Mom's watch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it because your kid got accepted to what DCUM considers a mediocre school? Just own it!

This whole thread is funny! I am going thru this now as a friend is being really quiet about his DC's college acceptances and I'm the type that is okay with announcing news to the world because I feel good about where our DC got accepted. Here's the interesting thing. Friend would be clamoring from the rooftops if his DC had good prospects for college. But I know that is not the case. So when things are good for the friend, the friend is open and happy to share news. But when things are not as positive, then it becomes a silent game and I am seen as bragging about my DC. Honestly, I cannot win, but I guarantee you that if friend's DC had done better in high school, friend would be shouting from the rooftops right now/victory lapping about DC's college pick!

^^you sound like a very smug sort of person. I wouldn't tell you anything--and you would judge me for that.

Smug as it may possibly sound to you (and I am a very nice person), I will never apologize for sharing any family news -- good or bad -- to others where I see fit. This is my happiness and my feeling of pride. If others internalize my happiness as their failure, this is on them because I am only broadcasting my joy. If I am cordial and kind to others, but happened to be a person who gets excited about my own life, people like you will always see anything I say as smugness. If I bought new shoes and shared the news with everyone, I can hear you say "oh she's so smug." If I got that great big house that I worked my butt off for 20 years and smiled telling people the story about how I saved every last penny, I can hear you say "she thinks she's so cool with her new big house." You are a downer. And so is my friend, who has no problem telling everyone he knows that he grew up in a tony location in the U.S. that is very popular in the media and rich travel circles...or that he does this and that or has this advantage or that advantage...my friend can dish it when he's top dog but really wants everyone to be respectful and silent when others attain something that he perhaps wanted and did not get-- such as in this case of a good college choice for DC. So I don't think I'm the one with the problem -- I share the good and bad and eat my humble pie if needed. It's my friend who only wants to share the good and get the heaps of praise when he's accomplishing what he feels is important, and then wants everyone to play considerate and mindful when things do not go his way. I hope you are not that person too.

I can see how it would be hurtful that this friend can't seem to share in your good news after you've spent years slapping him on the back for his own good news. That would be disappointing.

It is disappointing. I have definitely given many heaps of praise for the tony home or the cool vacation or great promotion. But was greeted with silence about my DC's results. It sort of gives me a lot of insights into the friendship.

Yeah, I don't know why people like that have friends. But they do.

[Anonymous]

Seriously, why the reluctance to say where your kid is going to college? Who cares? Acting all weird about it makes it sound like you are either ashamed or mental. Just say "Larlo is going to Va Tech" or whatever and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, why the reluctance to say where your kid is going to college? Who cares? Acting all weird about it makes it sound like you are either ashamed or mental. Just say "Larlo is going to Va Tech" or whatever and move on.

Maybe Larlo's grades are suffering from severe senior slump and Larlo's parents are concerned that his offer of admission might be rescinded?

[Anonymous]

I basically say DD is following some guy named Ben who's going to the University of New York. We wish she'd just go to Stanford and go pre-med.

[Anonymous]

I just say "You tell me."

[Anonymous]

Geez I have sent three kids to college and never experienced any over-the-top nosy or inappropriate questions. Nor did I have a tough time answering questions.

Dial down the drama. Nobody cares that much, they most likely thought they were just being polite. Like asking, "How are you?" Doesn't mean someone is prying into your medial history.

[Anonymous]

Or you could just start wearing swag from the school and put stickers on your car. That way no one has to bug you with questions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can find something good to say or think about any college. It might be these people just don't know what to talk to you about. They encourage you to talk about your kids -whatever the current milestone is- because otherwise you wouldn't talk to them at all.

+1 This could be the case. And kids are a good common topic to talk about, especially if they know your DC is going off to college in the Fall. . I think OP is taking this way too sensitively. It's a common ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"It's not something that I care to talk about."

Now that's a clear signal that there was disappointment in the results. It's a very defensive response.