Sleeping with married men

[Anonymous]

Very interesting article in today's NYT on the above. I'd love to hear others reactions.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/06/style/modern-love-sleeping-with-married-men-infidelity.html?rref=collection%2Fcolumn%2Fmodern-love&action=click&contentCollection=fashion®ion=stream&module=stream_unit&version=latest&contentPlacement=1&pgtype=collection

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very interesting article in today's NYT on the above. I'd love to hear others reactions.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/06/style/modern-love-sleeping-with-married-men-infidelity.html?rref=collection%2Fcolumn%2Fmodern-love&action=click&contentCollection=fashion®ion=stream&module=stream_unit&version=latest&contentPlacement=1&pgtype=collection

I think that no matter what anybody does.. They end up dissatisfied with the world. That's why we hope to go to heaven.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very interesting article in today's NYT on the above. I'd love to hear others reactions.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/06/style/modern-love-sleeping-with-married-men-infidelity.html?rref=collection%2Fcolumn%2Fmodern-love&action=click&contentCollection=fashion®ion=stream&module=stream_unit&version=latest&contentPlacement=1&pgtype=collection

I read this. Stupid, navel gazing, clickbait. All of her “insights” are based on whatever these dudes told her. I actually can’t believe someone published this as you could learn more from reading dcum.

[Anonymous]

The reason low-drive spouses don't want their spouse to have an affair is fear that feelings will become involved and their spouse will leave them. They're right to feel that way. It happens often, no matter how resolved all parties are to maintain the status quo.

[Anonymous]

My DH and I both read this article this morning and discussed it for a few minutes mostly in regard to women losing their desire for sex. I told him that I rarely have the "urge" for sex the way he does but that I always enjoy it when we do. But I couldn't do it 3-4 times a week but 1-2 times is fine. We are both in our early 60's so he didn't raise a complaint. We didn't talk about what would happen if I had no interest in sex at all. But I do know it would be a big problem for him though I know his moral bar is very high. But even with that I'm just not sure what would happen.

[Anonymous]

Wow, i am surprised at the lack of response on an article suggesting married couples have and honest discussion about their sex lives.

It is very telling indeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I both read this article this morning and discussed it for a few minutes mostly in regard to women losing their desire for sex. I told him that I rarely have the "urge" for sex the way he does but that I always enjoy it when we do. But I couldn't do it 3-4 times a week but 1-2 times is fine. We are both in our early 60's so he didn't raise a complaint. We didn't talk about what would happen if I had no interest in sex at all. But I do know it would be a big problem for him though I know his moral bar is very high. But even with that I'm just not sure what would happen.

You would issue him a permanent hall pass because you love him and want to meet his needs.

[Anonymous]

I don't know that the issue is that men don't want to be honest with their wives. I have told my husband several times that, due to years of issues that we have had, I am not as interested in having sex as he is, and that if he wants to have sex more often, he should go ahead and get a girlfriend. He doesn't want to do it and keeps insisting that things will get better between us. I know that they will not.

[Anonymous]

I think the quote about women having affairs because they are bored with the responsibilities of marriage and child raising and need excitement is very true. What the author also somewhat mentioned is that for some men, the reason for the affair isn't necessarily sex, but someone to talk to. I have heard that this is also why men hire high priced call girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know that the issue is that men don't want to be honest with their wives. I have told my husband several times that, due to years of issues that we have had, I am not as interested in having sex as he is, and that if he wants to have sex more often, he should go ahead and get a girlfriend. He doesn't want to do it and keeps insisting that things will get better between us. I know that they will not.

He probably does, he is just pressing the issue with you. It's really sad that our society guilts people into staying in relationships that no longer serve their needs.

Are you willing to share the household finances to help maintain the affair partner. More specifically, in the form of dinner, vacations, and gifts
Basically, all the things that we would do to romance a potential wife?

[Anonymous]

She is too boring a writer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I both read this article this morning and discussed it for a few minutes mostly in regard to women losing their desire for sex. I told him that I rarely have the "urge" for sex the way he does but that I always enjoy it when we do. But I couldn't do it 3-4 times a week but 1-2 times is fine. We are both in our early 60's so he didn't raise a complaint. We didn't talk about what would happen if I had no interest in sex at all. But I do know it would be a big problem for him though I know his moral bar is very high. But even with that I'm just not sure what would happen.

You would issue him a permanent hall pass because you love him and want to meet his needs.

PP here - I don't think I could nor do I think he would take one. We've been married over 35 years and have a very special relationship and yes, sex has been an important part of it. I do believe that sex in some way, shape or form will continue to be a part of our lives until health issues arise which is inevitable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know that the issue is that men don't want to be honest with their wives. I have told my husband several times that, due to years of issues that we have had, I am not as interested in having sex as he is, and that if he wants to have sex more often, he should go ahead and get a girlfriend. He doesn't want to do it and keeps insisting that things will get better between us. I know that they will not.

He probably does, he is just pressing the issue with you. It's really sad that our society guilts people into staying in relationships that no longer serve their needs.

Are you willing to share the household finances to help maintain the affair partner. More specifically, in the form of dinner, vacations, and gifts
Basically, all the things that we would do to romance a potential wife?

Sure, if the AP will also take care of DH when he is sick and do chores around the house and spend time with the ILs then I guess so!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know that the issue is that men don't want to be honest with their wives. I have told my husband several times that, due to years of issues that we have had, I am not as interested in having sex as he is, and that if he wants to have sex more often, he should go ahead and get a girlfriend. He doesn't want to do it and keeps insisting that things will get better between us. I know that they will not.

He probably does, he is just pressing the issue with you. It's really sad that our society guilts people into staying in relationships that no longer serve their needs.

Are you willing to share the household finances to help maintain the affair partner. More specifically, in the form of dinner, vacations, and gifts
Basically, all the things that we would do to romance a potential wife?

Sure, if the AP will also take care of DH when he is sick and do chores around the house and spend time with the ILs then I guess so!

Then you should have sex with your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I both read this article this morning and discussed it for a few minutes mostly in regard to women losing their desire for sex. I told him that I rarely have the "urge" for sex the way he does but that I always enjoy it when we do. But I couldn't do it 3-4 times a week but 1-2 times is fine. We are both in our early 60's so he didn't raise a complaint. We didn't talk about what would happen if I had no interest in sex at all. But I do know it would be a big problem for him though I know his moral bar is very high. But even with that I'm just not sure what would happen.

You would issue him a permanent hall pass because you love him and want to meet his needs.

PP here - I don't think I could nor do I think he would take one. We've been married over 35 years and have a very special relationship and yes, sex has been an important part of it. I do believe that sex in some way, shape or form will continue to be a part of our lives until health issues arise which is inevitable.

That would be extemely selfish and unloving to declare you no longer want sex therefore he must also be celibate against his will and biology. He would be equally justified to give himself a hall pass. Let’s hope that dilemma never comes.