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I am 35 year old male and work as a reporter in the city making 90K. I don't see myself ever making some of the figures touted on this forum. I don't have trouble getting dates. I am a decent looking guy with an athletic build and interesting background. But the stumbling block always seems to be women looking for a LTR that are not happy with the income I make. I get by alright in DC and don't have a roommate and pay about 1700 for a 1 bedroom. With other overhead expenses, that doesn't leave much for frivolous spending.
I don't usually date younger women and I am looking for something meaningful and I don't want kids. The kids aspect of course has some women turned off, but that is usually revealed early on. I don't want to mislead anyone. The reason i state is that my last relationship floundered after 6 months when she, a person making about the same salary, was wondering (mentioned it like 1000 times) how i can boost my salary. |
| How big is your beach house in that gated community? |
| Um, yeah, that'd be fine for me. Your last girlfriend was a jerk. |
Or just had standards
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| Kids is the dealbreaker - not salary. Unless you are going for divorcees who already have 2-3 children. |
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Don't date women who want to be trophy wives or SAHM's. My DH made less than that when we started dating, and now 5 years later he makes a bit over 6 figures. I make almost 3 times what he makes. But I never expected a guy to bankroll my lifestyle, so while I'm glad he makes a good living it's not what attracted me to him.
Honestly these posts get so old -- men go out of their way to find these kinds of women on the dating scene and try to impress them with their money and then turn around and complain that the only thing that impresses women is money. Nope, that's what you're attracting. Work on you. |
OP NEEDS you. Any chance you can drop your DH and hook up with OP? |
A lie. Men look for pretty, fun, available women. Period. Women look for money. And status. |
| It's the kids thing. Plenty of women in this area make a lot of money, and would be fine with your salary as long as you work hard and make a positive contribution to the world. Most women in their 30s want kids. I wonder if your luck would change if you look for women in their 40s. |
All those Instagram models you're basing your dream woman off of are trying to make a living off being pretty/desirable. It's the same trophy wife mentality. That's what you're seeking out, and that's what you're finding. The world is full of pretty women, seriously. They're not that rare. The ones whose main focus in life is being pretty are trained by society that their looks should be enough of a contribution to a partnership to expect the other half to pick up everything else. And you're setting yourself up as the heavy lifter by pairing up with women like that, and then complaining about expectations. |
Your statement would mean more if I hadn’t married and haven’t more recently tried to date non-Instagram-models. |
Reading comprehension. I said they're the basis for the "pretty, fun, available" women you're looking for, not the actual women.
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| 29F here making 150, and hopefully will be up to 250 when I’m your age. I’m fine making more than a guy as long as in the long term, my career comes first. That is far more relevant when it comes to having kids, though, so maybe it doesn’t matter. |
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You're 35, you don't want kids, you rent, and you make (for DC) a solidly middle-class salary. Assuming you're saving for retirement (you are, aren't you?) that isn't going to afford a lot of the things childless couples often stay childless to do, like adventuresome vacations.
So, yeah. I'm sure you're a nice guy, but you're not exactly exuding "life partner." Do you have any ambitions that might make you seem more exciting than you do here? |
I think this is it. Most women do want kids eventually or at least want that option left open to them. That was me. I wasn't keen on having kids, but I wanted that option in the future, and I knew that I would be the one taking the time off. I think also as a woman, I wouldn't want the man to be earning *a lot* less than me, but it would also depend on what kind of work the man did. If he was a teacher, for example, and he was really passionate about it, I would respect that, and I know that teachers don't make that much. But there are probably some women who do care a lot about how much the man makes even without the kids aspect. |