Do I make enough money to be attractive to women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's the kids thing. Plenty of women in this area make a lot of money, and would be fine with your salary as long as you work hard and make a positive contribution to the world. Most women in their 30s want kids. I wonder if your luck would change if you look for women in their 40s.

+1. I’m 30 and make 100k, but would be fine with a man who makes 90k. I think you might need to look for women who already have kids. Most women in their 30s who are single want kids, if I had to guess.

[Anonymous]

Your income is not an issue if you don’t want kids. But most women want kids.

[Anonymous]

Reading comprehension. I said they're the basis for the "pretty, fun, available" women you're looking for, not the actual women.

Reality comprehension: men date and marry women who are pretty, fun, and available. Available means here, real life, willing to show up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Reading comprehension. I said they're the basis for the "pretty, fun, available" women you're looking for, not the actual women.

Reality comprehension: men date and marry women who are pretty, fun, and available. Available means here, real life, willing to show up.

That doesn't change a single thing I wrote, bud.

But I have no investment in your love life. Change nothing about what you're doing and keep expecting different results. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't usually date younger women and I am looking for something meaningful and I don't want kids.

Date women your own age who already know they don't want kids. A 25-year-old might think the "no kids" thing sounds OK, but in most cases, she'll end up wanting kids.

[Anonymous]

Some women will be fine with your salary and some won't. But you know that.

[Anonymous]

OP here

I am fun. I grew up abroad and love to travel off the beaten path and speak several languages. Women are really into me at first. I am pretty upfront about the no kids thing, usually first or second date especially if the person is late 20s early 30s. I know many women want kids and I don't want to string them along.

My last partner was a jerk, but I definitely have felt jilted by other career women who expect fancy dining and hotels all the time because they can afford it. THink law firm people or management consultants.

I also look for established women who are not looknig for fun. I am not opposed to commitment and don't want to "play the field".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't date women who want to be trophy wives or SAHM's. My DH made less than that when we started dating, and now 5 years later he makes a bit over 6 figures. I make almost 3 times what he makes. But I never expected a guy to bankroll my lifestyle, so while I'm glad he makes a good living it's not what attracted me to him.

Honestly these posts get so old -- men go out of their way to find these kinds of women on the dating scene and try to impress them with their money and then turn around and complain that the only thing that impresses women is money. Nope, that's what you're attracting. Work on you.

A lie. Men look for pretty, fun, available women. Period. Women look for money. And status.

I looked for intelligence, health/fitness and a good friendship. Work ethic, yes. Salary? No.
I was friends with DH when we were in grad school - he was in social science and he was penniless basically.
He was receiving food stamps even. I had a part time job at NASA and had a little money.
I got an engineering job so the idea was that two normal salaries would be enough which it was.
I don’t know any women who were looking for monied men, but then again I’m a nerd and run in nerd circles, so....
If you socialize with sorority girls then you get what you get there - you’d best become a hedge fund manager pronto, and she’ll continue to barely eat any food and do her hair for a while. Enjoy.

[Anonymous]

Oh my god, a 35-year-old making 90k sounds fine to me! Maybe it's because I'm 62 and couldn't imagine making that much back in the day when I was 35 and times have changed. But, seriously? This is not someone trying to survive in DC on a non-profit salary in the 40s or 50s.

OP, I know that some people have been snarky about this on this thread but you might want to look at your choices in women. Are you sure you aren't chasing after the kind of person who would reject your salary and ignoring (or even rejecting) the kind of person who would be fine with it?

I went through a period in my life where I was avoiding relationships with people who were available (and thus scary) and pining after people who were not available. I had to look really carefully at that and figure out why I was so afraid of folks that were available and interested in me.

I don't know if that is what is going on for you. But I have to wonder why you're having a hard time finding someone who is fine with your salary and career trajectory. They sound pretty solid to me. Then again, I'm not 35 anymore so maybe things have changed.

Good luck! Hope you find someone who suits you!

[Anonymous]

He goes for pretty girls, pretty girls like money, so therefore he goes for girls that like money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 35 year old male and work as a reporter in the city making 90K. I don't see myself ever making some of the figures touted on this forum. I don't have trouble getting dates. I am a decent looking guy with an athletic build and interesting background. But the stumbling block always seems to be women looking for a LTR that are not happy with the income I make. I get by alright in DC and don't have a roommate and pay about 1700 for a 1 bedroom. With other overhead expenses, that doesn't leave much for frivolous spending.

I don't usually date younger women and I am looking for something meaningful and I don't want kids. The kids aspect of course has some women turned off, but that is usually revealed early on. I don't want to mislead anyone.

The reason i state is that my last relationship floundered after 6 months when she, a person making about the same salary, was wondering (mentioned it like 1000 times) how i can boost my salary.

Be still my heart! <3

That's the big deal breaker for most in this area, but that makes you even more attractive to me because I also don't want kids. I'm a female and finding a male who doesn't want kids is getting increasingly more difficult.

Look for Meetup groups that are specifically for Childfree adults. I've had good luck there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here

I am fun. I grew up abroad and love to travel off the beaten path and speak several languages. Women are really into me at first. I am pretty upfront about the no kids thing, usually first or second date especially if the person is late 20s early 30s. I know many women want kids and I don't want to string them along.

My last partner was a jerk, but I definitely have felt jilted by other career women who expect fancy dining and hotels all the time because they can afford it. THink law firm people or management consultants.

I also look for established women who are not looknig for fun. I am not opposed to commitment and don't want to "play the field".

Ok, pp here who asked if you were chasing people who would reject you. Yeah, I think you are. Sounds like you need the approval of these kinds of women more than is healthy for you. Maybe try dating in other social circles - say, academics, who are educated but generally don't make tons of money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here

I am fun. I grew up abroad and love to travel off the beaten path and speak several languages. Women are really into me at first. I am pretty upfront about the no kids thing, usually first or second date especially if the person is late 20s early 30s. I know many women want kids and I don't want to string them along.

My last partner was a jerk, but I definitely have felt jilted by other career women who expect fancy dining and hotels all the time because they can afford it. THink law firm people or management consultants.

I also look for established women who are not looknig for fun. I am not opposed to commitment and don't want to "play the field".

Maybe you need to date women who don't have high-powered careers. I mean, government attorneys can't afford fine dining and luxury hotels. Teachers can't afford those things. If you keep dating women who both make more money than you and want to spend money on expensive/luxury things AND want you to pay for those things, you'll have a problem. If you date women who work in government or non-profits or another form of public service, you might have better luck in terms of having similar expectations about spending.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He goes for pretty girls, pretty girls like money, so therefore he goes for girls that like money.

I think this is part of it, too. He wants someone who is fit (ie, pretty) and fun, AND who doesn't care about money or having kids. This is called wanting it all. It's like a woman who wants a man who is good looking, great body, great father, makes six figures, AND helps around the house 50/50. That's a woman's version of having it all.

Sure, there are some folks out there that may fit the bill on both sides, both they are extremely few and far between.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Be still my heart! <3

I think OP found his match.