VERY British BIL and SIL

[Anonymous]

I'm hoping some of you with British relatives can help me out here. I've got a very British brother-in-law married to my sister-in-law, a native Texan. BIL has lived in TX for over two decades, yet has not pursued US citizenship and only visits the UK once annually. My SIL is a nice, smart woman but completely mind-screwed by his insistence of (what he perceives as) very British manners, customs, foods.

That's all fine and well, but my problem is they have a very active, energetic, sweet 3-year old son who they are forcing this on, as well. He is not allowed to watch or even talk about things American. They watch BBC and Formula 1, cricket, and cycling with a strange fanaticism. Despite living in semi-rural Texas, lil' dude even speaks with a British accent like the old man.

I'm no right-winger by any stretch, but it definitely feels anti-American and condescending/rude to my and my wife's family and culture. They visited us in DC this weekend and the poor kid was all over the tee ball/bat.

TLDR: My BIL is a strange Brit who is brainwashing my nephew. What would you do?

[Anonymous]

This will self correct once the kid is in school. Don’t worry about it.

[Anonymous]

What do you mean he isn't allowed to talk about things American? They live in Texas - how is it possible to avoid all things American??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm hoping some of you with British relatives can help me out here. I've got a very British brother-in-law married to my sister-in-law, a native Texan. BIL has lived in TX for over two decades, yet has not pursued US citizenship and only visits the UK once annually. My SIL is a nice, smart woman but completely mind-screwed by his insistence of (what he perceives as) very British manners, customs, foods.

That's all fine and well, but my problem is they have a very active, energetic, sweet 3-year old son who they are forcing this on, as well. He is not allowed to watch or even talk about things American. They watch BBC and Formula 1, cricket, and cycling with a strange fanaticism. Despite living in semi-rural Texas, lil' dude even speaks with a British accent like the old man.

I'm no right-winger by any stretch, but it definitely feels anti-American and condescending/rude to my and my wife's family and culture. They visited us in DC this weekend and the poor kid was all over the tee ball/bat.

TLDR: My BIL is a strange Brit who is brainwashing my nephew. What would you do?

I agree with the pp that it’ll resolve itself by school. The fantastic I am in any direction is weird. But maybe the dad is trying to build some common interests between him and his son. He could of course go the other way and be interested in what his kid likes and not force things on him. I do think hat we can all benefit from better manners and table manners and polite customs. It’s the condescension that the problem. Does the bil have any American friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm hoping some of you with British relatives can help me out here. I've got a very British brother-in-law married to my sister-in-law, a native Texan. BIL has lived in TX for over two decades, yet has not pursued US citizenship and only visits the UK once annually. My SIL is a nice, smart woman but completely mind-screwed by his insistence of (what he perceives as) very British manners, customs, foods.

That's all fine and well, but my problem is they have a very active, energetic, sweet 3-year old son who they are forcing this on, as well. He is not allowed to watch or even talk about things American. They watch BBC and Formula 1, cricket, and cycling with a strange fanaticism. Despite living in semi-rural Texas, lil' dude even speaks with a British accent like the old man.

I'm no right-winger by any stretch, but it definitely feels anti-American and condescending/rude to my and my wife's family and culture. They visited us in DC this weekend and the poor kid was all over the tee ball/bat.

TLDR: My BIL is a strange Brit who is brainwashing my nephew. What would you do?

So, he plays cricket and soccer instead of baseball and (American) football. Its their kid and he'll be fine.

[Anonymous]

Typo: fanaticism.

[Anonymous]

Look, the kid lives in America and is surrounded by Americans. Maybe dad is just putting in a little extra effort to expose the kid to his British heritage. Certainly no one else in Texas is going to do that? Regardless, MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm hoping some of you with British relatives can help me out here. I've got a very British brother-in-law married to my sister-in-law, a native Texan. BIL has lived in TX for over two decades, yet has not pursued US citizenship and only visits the UK once annually. My SIL is a nice, smart woman but completely mind-screwed by his insistence of (what he perceives as) very British manners, customs, foods.

That's all fine and well, but my problem is they have a very active, energetic, sweet 3-year old son who they are forcing this on, as well. He is not allowed to watch or even talk about things American. They watch BBC and Formula 1, cricket, and cycling with a strange fanaticism. Despite living in semi-rural Texas, lil' dude even speaks with a British accent like the old man.

I'm no right-winger by any stretch, but it definitely feels anti-American and condescending/rude to my and my wife's family and culture. They visited us in DC this weekend and the poor kid was all over the tee ball/bat.

TLDR: My BIL is a strange Brit who is brainwashing my nephew. What would you do?

I agree with the pp that it’ll resolve itself by school. The fantastic I am in any direction is weird. But maybe the dad is trying to build some common interests between him and his son. He could of course go the other way and be interested in what his kid likes and not force things on him. I do think hat we can all benefit from better manners and table manners and polite customs. It’s the condescension that the problem. Does the bil have any American friends?

I think you touched on a major problem that my wife and I were discussing last night: it seems like they are absolutely forcing their interests, customs, faux culture on the kid. I'm sure there is a certain amount of self-correction that will happen here, especially living in east Texas.

BIL doesn't have any American friends that I know of, but then again, I don't know if he has any friends at all, honestly. He is almost anti-social and it seems like he'd rather be in the garage playing with his three (3!) new motorcycles than engaged with his wife and kid. During the holidays he will purposefully show up late and leave early from my Inlaws house, just because that's how he rolls, apparently.

I absolutely agree with you on the better manners and polite customs, but its not like my wife or her people are rubes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, the kid lives in America and is surrounded by Americans. Maybe dad is just putting in a little extra effort to expose the kid to his British heritage. Certainly no one else in Texas is going to do that? Regardless, MYOB.

I get it, and I have and will keep to myself on this. I just feel bad for the kid, like he's going to be some kind of culture alien or, worse yet, poseur.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean he isn't allowed to talk about things American? They live in Texas - how is it possible to avoid all things American??

OP here

Yeah, he's discouraged from playing baseball specifically, which I think is my hangup. When spring training was on the TV (tele) this weekend, his Mom told us that baseball was specifically outlawed in their house.

I was going to add an edit about how I know everybody thinks of Texas...but the problem is that they are isolating him, in a sense.

[Anonymous]

Soccer is huge in Texas. Maybe that can be the common ground between the kid and his stuffy dad? I do think it will work out fine once he gets to school. Your SIL is not going to let her kid get bullied.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look, the kid lives in America and is surrounded by Americans. Maybe dad is just putting in a little extra effort to expose the kid to his British heritage. Certainly no one else in Texas is going to do that? Regardless, MYOB.

I get it, and I have and will keep to myself on this. I just feel bad for the kid, like he's going to be some kind of culture alien or, worse yet, poseur.

If he is self aware and has good examples in non judgemental aunt and uncle he’ll be fine. I have a friend who speaks with a French accent. His family is French and he was born in the us. At 17 he was a very suave dude and used his totally put on accent to get girls. Still speaks like that at 30. Happily married and employed. It just became the way he was and his friends didn’t care even if we did gently rib him for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This will self correct once the kid is in school. Don’t worry about it.

I am British and agree with this. I have a British friend with twins the same age as my DD and she used English words for everything with them and would correct my daughter, which annoyed me but I let it go. Now they are all in school they are doing and saying more American things.

[Anonymous]

None of your business. At all.

[Anonymous]

MYOB. That's what you do.