MIL pulls me aside and tells me I am burdening her son

[Anonymous]

My MIL, when we were alone, earlier today said she is worried about her son. He is so young and she is so anxious about him. He makes good money but he can’t pay for everything and I need to chip in too.

This isn’t the first time she’s done this. I don’t quite know how to react.

[Anonymous]

Wow. I'm absolutely terrible with the comeback so I hope to goodness the quicker tongues on DCUM give you some good responses because that is appalling.

[Anonymous]

I would just ask her if this is something DH has told her or shared with her.

Do not say anything until you know for sure that your DH has told her to talk to you. Regardless of her answer, you only talk to your husband when you are alone. Do not confront him, do not blame his mother, instead ask if he feels like what your MIL has told you.

If he admits that this is what he has said to your MIL or this is how he feels, you can decide on the next steps yourself. Your options are to get a job or get out of the marriage. In either case, it is not worth it to bring a child into the equation.

[Anonymous]

Op here. I have a job too and I pay for all of my expenses. DH pays for all the bills and rent. I do not earn as much as him and I have offered to pitch in multiple times but he says no he’s got it. I buy my own shoes clothes makeup etc.

I am very disturbed by this as I am unsure I can be in a relationship where I am going to be made to feel bad for relying on my husband.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand - you're married but you somehow split expenses? Do you not have joint accounts?

[Anonymous]

Show him this thread. For all you know MIL is interfering and your DH has not said a word to her.

In any case, DH needs to handle his mom and explain to her that she is creating trouble in your marriage.

[Anonymous]

This sounds very much like the same person whose MIL warned her they may not get inheritance.

[Anonymous]

What do you mean "chip in?'

You split expenses like roomates?

Why? What else is going on here that you are not sharing?

[Anonymous]

Are you actually married or just living together ?

[Anonymous]

Ask your H if he has been confiding in his mother about concerns with money.

If he has, ask him to stop doing that and come to you. If he hasn't ask him to tell her not confront you like that again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I have a job too and I pay for all of my expenses. DH pays for all the bills and rent. I do not earn as much as him and I have offered to pitch in multiple times but he says no he’s got it. I buy my own shoes clothes makeup etc.

I am very disturbed by this as I am unsure I can be in a relationship where I am going to be made to feel bad for relying on my husband.

Tell DH to stop sharing the intimate details of your life with his mother!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds very much like the same person whose MIL warned her they may not get inheritance.

That was my first reaction too. Troll?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds very much like the same person whose MIL warned her they may not get inheritance.

That was exactly my same reaction. Troll?

[Anonymous]

I never understand these spouses ho keep their finances separate. It’s easier if you actually act married and have a joint account. You brought this on yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds very much like the same person whose MIL warned her they may not get inheritance.

That was exactly my same reaction. Troll?

Also my first reaction. Jeff should investigate