Disappointment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, my kid is disappointed they may not be able to attended a school they got accepted to due to finances.

The west coast school is a challenge and the east coast school is more manageable.

Kid is disappointed they worked hard to get in. We were not expecting acceptance.

Not sure if we can make it work. Kid is sad. So are we.

Well that is 100% on you for not discussing finances with your kid before applying and setting expectations. If you cannot afford $85K+, then you tell your kid that, so they go in knowing 1000% that they cannot attend unless they get merit. And you temper expectations by not allowing them to apply to schools that basically do NOT give merit and cost $85-90K+/year. At most you let them apply to 1 or 2, but they have to know it's "just to see and we cannot afford it". In reality, you don't even let them apply, because yes it's difficult for a 17 yo to know they cannot attend if accepted.

I'm not the PP, but I know ours isn't the only family whose financial outlook has changed since their kid sent in those ED/EA applications.

We don't have hundreds of thousands socked away in a 529, but we'd set a clear amount we were comfortable contributing without affecting our savings or retirement, and our kid did a really good job of applying appropriately. They got in everywhere they applied, with at least some merit, and their net payments ended up without our original parameters.

Unfortunately, that contribution now looks a lot different than it did back in October. Schools that should have been workable are no longer a viable option with the current instability and uncertainty.

Sorry, net costs were *within* our original parameters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I suspect insincerity and a manufactured application.

All applications are insincere and manufactured. But some do a better job than others of faking sincerity and authenticity.

Disagree with this.

[Anonymous]

This post hits on the greatest skill one can develop in life, the ability to come across as a sincere, empathetic, person either because you genuinely possess those traits or are an accomplished actor who can play that role of someone who possesses those traits.

Unfortunately for most people they neither innately possess the traits nor can fake it well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As impressive as your DD's profile is, unfortunately there are many kids around here with the exact same resume. Some of them have national and even international awards. STEM is way oversaturated and it is very, very tough for even high stats kids to get into a T-25 these days. It does feel unfair. Of course it does. Hope she gets off one of the waitlists but, if she doesn't, she is clearly a smart, hardworking young woman who will succeed wherever she lands!

Even in DCUMland there are not “many” kids w that profile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This happens every year. Every other kid has 1550+, 4.9 GPA, amazing EC’s, excellent essays.. etc.
There are only so many seats for the thousands of applicants with similar stats.. .

I don’t think there was anything wrong with her application. It just a crapshoot.. luck wasn’t on her side.

No, There are not that many kids W those stats. It is certainly not “every other kid” it’s very rare to have those stats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happens every year. Every other kid has 1550+, 4.9 GPA, amazing EC’s, excellent essays.. etc.
There are only so many seats for the thousands of applicants with similar stats.. .

I don’t think there was anything wrong with her application. It just a crapshoot.. luck wasn’t on her side.

No, There are not that many kids W those stats. It is certainly not “every other kid” it’s very rare to have those stats.

You must be new here. If your kid's GPA is less than 4.0 UW or SAT of sub-1500, you will be told to send you kid to trade school, community college, or a gap year to add something meaningful to their application to make up for their abysmal test score. It's not a rare profile for wealthy kids from urban centers.

[Anonymous]

Did OP's daughter select a school to attend ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Welcome to the application process for highly qualified daughters. If your daughter is white or Asian, it's even worse. The stats don't lie - your daughter is competing with far more applicants exactly like her than boys. Check the Common Data Set stats and you will see it - applicants are mostly girls. Are you middle class - specifically in the not so sweet spot of a family earned income between 200K and 400K a year? It's even worse than just having a daughter!

A boy with those stats would have a bigger advantage than a girl in gaining admission simply because there aren't enough boys applying. Add to that the middle class earned income no fly zone where you earn just enough to pay for school but not enough to pay full tuition, and it becomes a tougher road. The stats and the achievements are only part of the equation.

You should feel upset - your kid busted their behind and others who may be less deserving but fulfilled some unknown need of the colleges on the list got their admit. It sucks, but it's where we are.

My DD was in the exact same boat but we applied to places where she had clear opportunities at a full ride (in addition to the standard T20 applications) and she got more than one full ride offer at what would be considered by most here as lower tier schools. That helped her get over the sting of not being accepted to the T20s in her list.

My attitude would be as follows - those other schools didn't want my kid? F them - they're missing out, and we are going to focus on the ones that showed my kid some love and love them right back.

Yes, we're in that income bracket. DD is half-Asian, and according to this thread I'm guessing her "stereotypical" ECs showed AOs that she was Asian.

NP. OMG I got this far and just can't anymore with this OP.

OP, the problem isn't that the activities "show that she's Asian," it's that they are very common and don't stand out. This is partly due to some Asian cultures pushing the same activities on kids, not the fact thatvtheyvare Asian!

Your daughter sounds bright, and I am truly sorry at her disappointment, but your arrogance and entitlement coupled with your ignorance on admissions is just astounding.

You blew it with admissions.

RD to UVA does not give the best chances. You repeatedly said she didn't really care about UVA. Well, it clearly showed. It could have been a hard target, but with this info, it's a reach.

UNC OOS is a reach for all..not a "target or more likely than reach." Yikes, no.

If JHU was first choice, it should have been ED1. Still a reach given BME program. But ED2 made it a high reach.

VT does not have a 57% admit for BME. Admit rates are not the same across majors. She should be very proud of this admit rate.

Lehigh and Pitt are also excellent options.

It is ugly the way you go after what you perceive as "lesser" kids or people here who try to explain to you how you got it wrong. I get that you're upset, and it is fine to grieve, but check your freaking arrogance. You blew it. Your kid's list was too reachy, and she didn't make the most of her admissions options. That is partly on you for thinking you know better(UVA in the bag, UBC likely...as if). Nurse your wounds. Move forward.

[Anonymous]

The idea that getting into an “elite” college is the end all and be all of everything is so crazy. I can’t wait to see Trump knee cap Harvard. Hope he sticks it to them hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The idea that getting into an “elite” college is the end all and be all of everything is so crazy. I can’t wait to see Trump knee cap Harvard. Hope he sticks it to them hard.

Not likely to happen, Harvard is able to wait and stall for the next three years just like Trump did. But democratic retribution in a few years will break the evangelical churches financially as they are overtly political.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happens every year. Every other kid has 1550+, 4.9 GPA, amazing EC’s, excellent essays.. etc.
There are only so many seats for the thousands of applicants with similar stats.. .

I don’t think there was anything wrong with her application. It just a crapshoot.. luck wasn’t on her side.

No, There are not that many kids W those stats. It is certainly not “every other kid” it’s very rare to have those stats.

You must be new here. If your kid's GPA is less than 4.0 UW or SAT of sub-1500, you will be told to send you kid to trade school, community college, or a gap year to add something meaningful to their application to make up for their abysmal test score. It's not a rare profile for wealthy kids from urban centers.

And they'll be right. My kids with high 1400s and not perfect grades in the most rigorous courses (11 APS) did not crack the top 30 schools. It's tough to be from this area. Nonetheless, they love their colleges, and their professors love them and the amazing high school education they bring with them as a foundation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As impressive as your DD's profile is, unfortunately there are many kids around here with the exact same resume. Some of them have national and even international awards. STEM is way oversaturated and it is very, very tough for even high stats kids to get into a T-25 these days. It does feel unfair. Of course it does. Hope she gets off one of the waitlists but, if she doesn't, she is clearly a smart, hardworking young woman who will succeed wherever she lands!

Even in DCUMland there are not “many” kids w that profile.

I love it when people say things like this. Perhaps with the insane grade inflation everyone has a 4.0UW, but once you get into like 1570+ / all 5s on the APs the pool gets smaller and smaller and smaller.

It feels unfair because it is unfair. It's not a perspective issue. If you ask any AO from anywhere the last thing they'd attempt to tell you is the college process is fair. It's subjective, it has institutional priorities behind it you'll never know about, and sometimes the AO is just having a bad day or reacts to something benign in your essay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As impressive as your DD's profile is, unfortunately there are many kids around here with the exact same resume. Some of them have national and even international awards. STEM is way oversaturated and it is very, very tough for even high stats kids to get into a T-25 these days. It does feel unfair. Of course it does. Hope she gets off one of the waitlists but, if she doesn't, she is clearly a smart, hardworking young woman who will succeed wherever she lands!

Even in DCUMland there are not “many” kids w that profile.

That is true, but admissions are from a worldwide pool and the “not many in DCUMland” are but a subset of the pool. The pool is actually a couple of hundred thousand kids and they somehow need to get an AO’s attention during the sorting and selection in order to get put into a slot based on each schools institutional priorities. In that context the profile just didn’t stand out.

The OPs kid is a very bright kid but bright is only one factor in the crazy world of top school admissions where the demand/supply imbalance is huge.

[Anonymous]

Harvard about to take it in the a**

Big time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Harvard about to take it in the a**

Big time

Thank goodness your kid got into PG County Vo-Tech!! Won't have to put up with all that.