Disappointment

[Anonymous]

Well, my kid is disappointed they may not be able to attended a school they got accepted to due to finances.

The west coast school is a challenge and the east coast school is more manageable.

Kid is disappointed they worked hard to get in. We were not expecting acceptance.

Not sure if we can make it work. Kid is sad. So are we.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:welcome to the world of selective college admissions. It is no longer how it was in your late Victorian, early Edwardian world.

My Victorian parents didn't attend college or high school, nor find me programs, internships, and awards.

The "regional awards" and "competitive summer program" sound like awards for receiving awards. They don't provide incremental information. It reminds me of National Honor Society, which just measures grade point average.

Anonymous wrote:of course a student interested in medicine would apply for BME to a place like JHU

Maybe. But in that case, she has no sincere interest in science or engineering. Is she Florence Nightingale, or Jonas Salk? A true scientist-at-heart would stay in the lab tinkering with experiments. A true healer would skip the lab to help more patients. This girl's resume seems to strategically check boxes. If so, then she might be better off at a small place like William and Mary, free to find her calling.

Interestingly, Johns Hopkins has had a lot of racial variation in admissions.

https://www.unz.com/isteve/johns-hopkins-follows-mit-on-race-quotas/

This is an excessively high standard for passion for the field. The vast majority of successful BME graduates were not doing any of this, so I don't see why you would expect OP to, and in fact, BME is an incredibly popular premed major - very typical for a science-inclined want-to-be-doctor.

Again, most of those who are successful in BME followed by medical school were not skipping labs to help more patients or neglecting their other activities to stay in the lab in HS.

Not to mention, MDs do a lot of research (it is a terminal degree after all), lead research laboratories, etc. In no world do medicine and science need to be at odds with each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, my kid is disappointed they may not be able to attended a school they got accepted to due to finances.

The west coast school is a challenge and the east coast school is more manageable.

Kid is disappointed they worked hard to get in. We were not expecting acceptance.

Not sure if we can make it work. Kid is sad. So are we.

This is why you always do the NPC first

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, my kid is disappointed they may not be able to attended a school they got accepted to due to finances.

The west coast school is a challenge and the east coast school is more manageable.

Kid is disappointed they worked hard to get in. We were not expecting acceptance.

Not sure if we can make it work. Kid is sad. So are we.

Why would you even allow your kid to apply to the school if you can’t afford the tuition? I absolutely do not get this approach. It is so cruel to the child. There are NPC on every college website. They are incredibly accurate. Use them!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents, especially highly educated parents with good incomes, seem to forget that there are so many "amazing"'kids out there with stellar resumes and grades and scores. You really need to make her realize that her choices are excellent. Because they are. And Pittsburgh is a terrific city.

+1. Even though kids with lower stats from her school got in, they probably weren't significantly lower, or they had something else to boost them up. Your daughter wisely applied to many schools and has great options; it should work out in the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, my kid is disappointed they may not be able to attended a school they got accepted to due to finances.

The west coast school is a challenge and the east coast school is more manageable.

Kid is disappointed they worked hard to get in. We were not expecting acceptance.

Not sure if we can make it work. Kid is sad. So are we.

Why would you even allow your kid to apply to the school if you can’t afford the tuition? I absolutely do not get this approach. It is so cruel to the child. There are NPC on every college website. They are incredibly accurate. Use them!!

Many schools offer merit awards not included in the NPC.

Also, however prescient you might be, very few people in October 2024 could have accurately predicted the state of the market, the world economy, and in some cases their own employment as of April 2025.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, my kid is disappointed they may not be able to attended a school they got accepted to due to finances.

The west coast school is a challenge and the east coast school is more manageable.

Kid is disappointed they worked hard to get in. We were not expecting acceptance.

Not sure if we can make it work. Kid is sad. So are we.

Before you completely give up, you can contact the school and let them know they're you're first choice but you can't afford to attend and will need to choose a less expensive option. Sometimes money does appear, especially if the second choice is a peer school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, my kid is disappointed they may not be able to attended a school they got accepted to due to finances.

The west coast school is a challenge and the east coast school is more manageable.

Kid is disappointed they worked hard to get in. We were not expecting acceptance.

Not sure if we can make it work. Kid is sad. So are we.

Before you completely give up, you can contact the school and let them know they're you're first choice but you can't afford to attend and will need to choose a less expensive option. Sometimes money does appear, especially if the second choice is a peer school.

+1. Couldn't hurt to try some negotiating. Also let them know if circumstances have changed from how it appears on FAFSA.

[Anonymous]

DC got into a T10 with 91 (I guess like a 3.7 or 3.8?) 1540 from a nationally ranked top public. EC was average and no real leadership position. UMC and not URM. No hook. Kids with much higher stats and impressive EC's got rejected from the same school. I know that these parents were griping about our dc, not to our face, much like you are doing about other kids with lower stats and unimpressive EC's getting in. I don't begrudge them for that, I get it, I don't understand how dc was chosen over these academic superstars. The things I can think of are this:

1) LOR-- dc is a stem major but got his LOR's from humanities teachers who loved him and were probably better writers than STEM teachers. We took a risk not asking STEM teachers in his field of major but hoped that these humanities teachers would show that dc was a well rounded student adept at STEM and humanities

2) Essays-- showed a deep sense of gratitude, as a way of life, and the core of dc's world view (we are not religious). I would think a lot of essays written by teens focus on themselves and their achievements or difficulties, and maybe dc's essay resonated differently?? I think dc came off authentically as a nice, decent kid who you'd like as a friend or in your school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Grumpy professor here, late the to thread. Maybe she is great. But my spider sense is tingling.

It seems unlikely that a high school student would know they wanted to major is something specific like biomedical engineering. What a coincidence that are volunteering at a hospital and applying to a top pre-med university like JHU! I suspect insincerity and a manufactured application.

Hey Sherlock, welcome to the world of selective college admissions. It is no longer how it was in your late Victorian, early Edwardian world.

The PP is simply pointing out that much of "selective college admissions" ECs are BS and most AO can tell that.
Because yes, very few 16/17yo have done "meaningful research" before college, despite what they put on their college applicaitons

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, my kid is disappointed they may not be able to attended a school they got accepted to due to finances.

The west coast school is a challenge and the east coast school is more manageable.

Kid is disappointed they worked hard to get in. We were not expecting acceptance.

Not sure if we can make it work. Kid is sad. So are we.

Well that is 100% on you for not discussing finances with your kid before applying and setting expectations. If you cannot afford $85K+, then you tell your kid that, so they go in knowing 1000% that they cannot attend unless they get merit. And you temper expectations by not allowing them to apply to schools that basically do NOT give merit and cost $85-90K+/year. At most you let them apply to 1 or 2, but they have to know it's "just to see and we cannot afford it". In reality, you don't even let them apply, because yes it's difficult for a 17 yo to know they cannot attend if accepted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, my kid is disappointed they may not be able to attended a school they got accepted to due to finances.

The west coast school is a challenge and the east coast school is more manageable.

Kid is disappointed they worked hard to get in. We were not expecting acceptance.

Not sure if we can make it work. Kid is sad. So are we.

Why would you even allow your kid to apply to the school if you can’t afford the tuition? I absolutely do not get this approach. It is so cruel to the child. There are NPC on every college website. They are incredibly accurate. Use them!!

+1000

Set financial expectations during junior year, so your kid can apply to schools that are within budget (or that typically give good merit so they could end up within your budget). But a T20 school that accepts 2K students and gives only 20 merit awards is not "affordable to you" unless you can be full pay. The odds of getting that merit award are "slim to none"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, my kid is disappointed they may not be able to attended a school they got accepted to due to finances.

The west coast school is a challenge and the east coast school is more manageable.

Kid is disappointed they worked hard to get in. We were not expecting acceptance.

Not sure if we can make it work. Kid is sad. So are we.

Why would you even allow your kid to apply to the school if you can’t afford the tuition? I absolutely do not get this approach. It is so cruel to the child. There are NPC on every college website. They are incredibly accurate. Use them!!

Many schools offer merit awards not included in the NPC.

Also, however prescient you might be, very few people in October 2024 could have accurately predicted the state of the market, the world economy, and in some cases their own employment as of April 2025.

Most T25 schools do NOT "offer much merit awards not included in the NPC". They might offer 10-20, but in the grand scheme of things, that is so unlikely you cannot count on it. versus go to a school ranked 30-75 and they offer good merit to most kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, my kid is disappointed they may not be able to attended a school they got accepted to due to finances.

The west coast school is a challenge and the east coast school is more manageable.

Kid is disappointed they worked hard to get in. We were not expecting acceptance.

Not sure if we can make it work. Kid is sad. So are we.

Before you completely give up, you can contact the school and let them know they're you're first choice but you can't afford to attend and will need to choose a less expensive option. Sometimes money does appear, especially if the second choice is a peer school.

This person is absolutely correct, make an appt with Financial aid officer go in person if they will meet with you explain your financial status it works. They will work with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, my kid is disappointed they may not be able to attended a school they got accepted to due to finances.

The west coast school is a challenge and the east coast school is more manageable.

Kid is disappointed they worked hard to get in. We were not expecting acceptance.

Not sure if we can make it work. Kid is sad. So are we.

Well that is 100% on you for not discussing finances with your kid before applying and setting expectations. If you cannot afford $85K+, then you tell your kid that, so they go in knowing 1000% that they cannot attend unless they get merit. And you temper expectations by not allowing them to apply to schools that basically do NOT give merit and cost $85-90K+/year. At most you let them apply to 1 or 2, but they have to know it's "just to see and we cannot afford it". In reality, you don't even let them apply, because yes it's difficult for a 17 yo to know they cannot attend if accepted.

I'm not the PP, but I know ours isn't the only family whose financial outlook has changed since their kid sent in those ED/EA applications.

We don't have hundreds of thousands socked away in a 529, but we'd set a clear amount we were comfortable contributing without affecting our savings or retirement, and our kid did a really good job of applying appropriately. They got in everywhere they applied, with at least some merit, and their net payments ended up without our original parameters.

Unfortunately, that contribution now looks a lot different than it did back in October. Schools that should have been workable are no longer a viable option with the current instability and uncertainty.