Online dating - how to address weight gain?

[Anonymous]

I've met someone through online dating who things are going well with and I expect that we'll go out some time in the near future. One thing that worries me slightly is I currently weigh about 5-10 pounds more than most of my pictures because there was a period of time last year when I was physically unwell, put on a lot of weight, and couldn't start exercising and losing the weight until more recently. I can say fairly confidently that I've already made progress and am looking and feeling better but I still want to bring up that I had put on weight and am in the process of becoming more physically active again. Is it better to say this before meeting in person or find a way to bring it up on a first date? I feel like it's not so noticeable that someone would think I'm flagrantly lying about my appearance with my pictures but I do think they better represent what I hope to look like in a month or two than right now.

[Anonymous]

5-10 pounds is nothing, I wouldn't mention. 20 or more pounds, I would mention.

[Anonymous]

I have the 20+ lbs, hoping to drop it this year. I mention it. But all my photos are post weight gain.

[Anonymous]

5-10 is nothing. Not worth mentioning. MOST women lie and subtract about 10, if not 20. If it's really 5-10, don't even think about it.

[Anonymous]

I would advise eating a lot fewer calories

[Anonymous]

What are these posts stating that 5-10 pounds is "nothing"? Are you crazy? My husband is, 5'10" and used to be 195lb. He was wearing a tight size 36 pant. Now he's 185lb and wears a comfortable size 34 pant.

5-10 pounds is a HUGE difference. Also, he's a big guy (used to workout and has a large frame. If you're a woman 10 pounds is a lot of weight. If you're worried about the weight, burn it off.

1. Stop eating sugar.
2. Stop eating processed foods.
3. Stop eating after 9pm.
4. Stop eating fried foods.
5. Drink plenty of water (pee at last 5-6 times a day).

You will lose 2-4 actual pounds in the first week alone.

[Anonymous]

About 14 years ago I went on a date with a girl through Match.com. We chatted online for some time before meeting. Her photos were cute, but I never really noticed they didn't show her body. On our first date I almost didn't recognize her. She wa about 5'2" (not a problem, as I tend to prefer shorter girls), but she was on the heavy side.

I didn't say anything and we had a nice first date, but I tel you what...I wasn't happy she hide that she was overweight. I was in good shape back then (ran everyday, workout, etc.). After the second date I told her I just didn't have time to date. Sure, looks are not everything. But, the reality is looks matter. Especially at first! If you really like this guy, don't make him rethink who you are because you lied about being overweight or whatever. Looks to men matter. That's reality. You're only 5-10lb bigger? That's not too hard to burn off depending on your age. If you just job 30 minutes a day (even at a slow pace) and skip carbs and sugar you will lose 2-3 pounds a week easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've met someone through online dating who things are going well with and I expect that we'll go out some time in the near future.

it's strange that you haven't already met in person? maybe your weight gain has to do with it, but at the same time waiting and being pen pals builds expectations.
he is interested in a girl he saw in pictures. maybe update pictures with your weight now and see what happens.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I appreciate but am not looking for dieting advice because I don't think that losing five pounds a week of fat is healthy. I'm interested in how to potentially bring this up. I don't look massive and none of my pictures show off my body as a major asset (no bikini or underwear pics) but I notice the weight gain in myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've met someone through online dating who things are going well with and I expect that we'll go out some time in the near future.

it's strange that you haven't already met in person? maybe your weight gain has to do with it, but at the same time waiting and being pen pals builds expectations.
he is interested in a girl he saw in pictures. maybe update pictures with your weight now and see what happens.

It's been less than a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I appreciate but am not looking for dieting advice because I don't think that losing five pounds a week of fat is healthy. I'm interested in how to potentially bring this up. I don't look massive and none of my pictures show off my body as a major asset (no bikini or underwear pics) but I notice the weight gain in myself.

Just facetime him tonight. Then he can see for himself.

[Anonymous]

You put on a lot of weight last year and are just losing it now - so your pictures are from before that? Are they at least within 6 months? I think most pictures should be within 6 months - save yourself this stress.

Don't bring it up, that sounds needy.

I would suggest only a couple pictures +6 monyhs abd only if they're really unique ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are these posts stating that 5-10 pounds is "nothing"? Are you crazy? My husband is, 5'10" and used to be 195lb. He was wearing a tight size 36 pant. Now he's 185lb and wears a comfortable size 34 pant.

5-10 pounds is a HUGE difference. Also, he's a big guy (used to workout and has a large frame. If you're a woman 10 pounds is a lot of weight. If you're worried about the weight, burn it off.

1. Stop eating sugar.
2. Stop eating processed foods.
3. Stop eating after 9pm.
4. Stop eating fried foods.
5. Drink plenty of water (pee at last 5-6 times a day).

You will lose 2-4 actual pounds in the first week alone.

You are a DH. No woman is as insane as this poster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

It's been less than a week.

Ok, thought it was longer than that, based on 'things going well' and meeting in 'near future'.
5 lbs is not always noticeable, 10 definitely is. I would still update the profile with one or two pictures especially if you think it's not a big difference. A picture speaks more than words; in this case words would be damaging actually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I appreciate but am not looking for dieting advice because I don't think that losing five pounds a week of fat is healthy. I'm interested in how to potentially bring this up. I don't look massive and none of my pictures show off my body as a major asset (no bikini or underwear pics) but I notice the weight gain in myself.

Here's the good thing. IT'S WINTER. Well, besides today. The first time you meet you won't be showing a lot of skin anyway...unless you plan on letting him go past first base (are you???). So, be smart in what you wear and start working out and eat healthy. Done.