Online dating - how to address weight gain?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are these posts stating that 5-10 pounds is "nothing"? Are you crazy? My husband is, 5'10" and used to be 195lb. He was wearing a tight size 36 pant. Now he's 185lb and wears a comfortable size 34 pant.

5-10 pounds is a HUGE difference. Also, he's a big guy (used to workout and has a large frame. If you're a woman 10 pounds is a lot of weight. If you're worried about the weight, burn it off.

1. Stop eating sugar.
2. Stop eating processed foods.
3. Stop eating after 9pm.
4. Stop eating fried foods.
5. Drink plenty of water (pee at last 5-6 times a day).

You will lose 2-4 actual pounds in the first week alone.

You are a DH. No woman is as insane as this poster.

What is insane about eating healthy? It's not hard to not eat sugar, processed food, skip fried food and drink water. Anyone who plays sports or stays in shape does this as a normal lifestyle. I would say you're the insane one of you think this is remotely difficult.

[Anonymous]

Good Lord. Do not mention this before you even meet someone in person. That would sound insane. If you do meet in person, you will need to decide whether to say anything or not. Personally, if I were you and the person physically recoiled or said something immediately, I would just turn around and leave. If you're communicating in person and you guys are hitting it off, a good person will not be a jerk on first meeting you in person, no matter how disappointed they might feel. And a really good person wouldnt be disappointed at all; they will be excited to meet you in person and looking for commonalities.

If you do wind up on a date with them, it's probably advisable to work it into the conversation - I've been running more lately since I was sidelined with XYZ and put on a few pounds and working hard to get back to normal. I guess the more important question is whether the illness is chronic; if so you probably should bring that up first.

[Anonymous]

I don't know of any man that would notice a 5 lb difference. Also, wear black.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know of any man that would notice a 5 lb difference. Also, wear black.

Unless you’re 5 foot even. And even then probably not.

[Anonymous]

Saying you gained 5-10 pounds doesn't mean much. What size clothing do you wear? If your clothes still fit, don't say anything because no one notices the weight gain but if you went from a size 4 to a size 10, that is significant.

[Anonymous]

I can gain 5 lbs in a day. Honestly try to be healthy for a few days and the difference should be negligible soon.

[Anonymous]

tell him you are taking break from the online thing and can one back when you are where you want to be. You sound really excited to be this invested so soon, he’s going to see you and be disappointed (as we know from scum looks are 95% of what men care about) and you won’t have a second Nd a second sate and it will give you a complex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:tell him you are taking break from the online thing and can one back when you are where you want to be. You sound really excited to be this invested so soon, he’s going to see you and be disappointed (as we know from scum looks are 95% of what men care about) and you won’t have a second Nd a second sate and it will give you a complex.

Why should they not go on a date because he might turn out to be shallow? Someone not looking exactly the same weight as their photos is not a dealbreaker for everyone, not even every man. If she's only got 10 pounds to lose, she's fine.

[Anonymous]

I met my gf through online dating. Before that, I went out on my first dates through apps. Around 60% seemed like they weighed 10lbs more than their pics, and 30% much more than that. When I met someone in the former situation, I would be disappointed and in the latter situation, I would feel outright deceived. In all cases, I did the best I could to continue the date (and often still paid) but it was only rarely I overcame my original negative reaction. I am fairly into physical fitness (I used to be certified as a trainer) and spend a lot of my free time being active, so I may or not be representative of your dating pool, but I would appreciate a heads up If you thought your pics were misleading. Especially if there was a good reason, it would have helped me calibrate my expectations and original reaction.

[Anonymous]

*many first (not my)

[Anonymous]

Don’t say anything. If you told me before a date you gained 10pounds and are working on loosing it. I’ll instantly think yeah 20+. She’s a fatty and will balloon up again.

Dress nice. You have a nice rack? West a dress that shows your nice size. You don’t need to show skin. But damn we guys love curves.

We see that. Your cute. Your fun. You like to joke and
Have a good time. We’re in like Flynn and those 10 pounds do not matter.

[Anonymous]

And post a new up to date full length picture someone takes of you in a dress or something.

Then you can comment. My friend took such a great new picture I wanted to share it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met my gf through online dating. Before that, I went out on my first dates through apps. Around 60% seemed like they weighed 10lbs more than their pics, and 30% much more than that. When I met someone in the former situation, I would be disappointed and in the latter situation, I would feel outright deceived. In all cases, I did the best I could to continue the date (and often still paid) but it was only rarely I overcame my original negative reaction. I am fairly into physical fitness (I used to be certified as a trainer) and spend a lot of my free time being active, so I may or not be representative of your dating pool, but I would appreciate a heads up If you thought your pics were misleading. Especially if there was a good reason, it would have helped me calibrate my expectations and original reaction.

Really?!? So 90% of the women you met online were larger than expected? I thought people lying about their age was common but weight is not something you can hide meeting in person

[Anonymous]

Unless you're really short, I don't think he will notice. I'm 5'8 and a 5-10 lb swing for me doesn't do much. You can't really tell unless I gain or lose 20 lbs or more.

Also, don't delay meeting him. His pics may also be inaccurate. You both need to get the face to face meeting out of the way sooner rather than later.

[Anonymous]

Is it truly 5-10 lbs? If so, no big deal.

If it's more, you need to post only current pictures showing your weight right now.