Boundary violation or no?

[Anonymous]

Yesterday I saw my ex sitting outside of a cafe. I was meeting my friend at this cafe. Recently I had requested that my ex not communicate with me in any way, shape, or form, including not acknowledging me in public.

I was with my three-year-old, and as we were leaving he addressed him ("Hi, James.") This kind of bothered me. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Can you get a restraining order?

[Anonymous]

Unless your name is James, it sounds like he did NOT communicate with you.

Are you in therapy yet?

[Anonymous]

Is your ex the father of James? Did you honestly expect him to ignore a child he knew?

Do you think he knew you'd be at the cafe or it was coincidence?

[Anonymous]

If the child isn't related to the ex, it's creepy to know you've been asked not to speak to someone but then to talk to their child. How I would respond in that case would depend on how serious your problems with him are. If you had a bad breakup and he texted you to much even though you told him to stop, I'd do nothing. If he's been abusive to you or stalking you, I'd get in touch with a domestic violence org that could talk to you about your options.

If he's the father of the child, I think you have to just accept it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yesterday I saw my ex sitting outside of a cafe. I was meeting my friend at this cafe. Recently I had requested that my ex not communicate with me in any way, shape, or form, including not acknowledging me in public.

I was with my three-year-old, and as we were leaving he addressed him ("Hi, James.") This kind of bothered me. Thoughts?

And the evidence continues to mount that the typical DCUM is a complete over dramatic, f-ing nut case. Sounds like you are detrimental to the kids health with a stupid question like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your ex the father of James? Did you honestly expect him to ignore a child he knew?

Do you think he knew you'd be at the cafe or it was coincidence?

No he's not the kid's father.

James wasn't saying anything to him.

It was a coincidence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your ex the father of James? Did you honestly expect him to ignore a child he knew?

Do you think he knew you'd be at the cafe or it was coincidence?

No he's not the kid's father.

James wasn't saying anything to him.

It was a coincidence.

Then A: whats the problem B: Do you normally need others opinions on meaningless happenings.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I guess the flood gates are open, but if respondents could refrain from name-calling, it would be appreciated. This is a sincere question.

Ex and I ended amiably, but things recently turned a corner and I cannot accept any communication at all. My thought is that he could have smiled at my kid - it would have communicated something affirming without my having to know. I didn't even look at ex, just saw that he was there as as I approached. It felt terribly awkward.

[Anonymous]

Why did you go in the cafe if you’re trying to avoid him?

[Anonymous]

Drama City

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you go in the cafe if you’re trying to avoid him?

+1 Yeah if he was there first do you honestly expect him to vacate any and all premises as soon as you arrive (while avoiding all contact with any and everyone in your company)? You need to get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your ex the father of James? Did you honestly expect him to ignore a child he knew?

Do you think he knew you'd be at the cafe or it was coincidence?

No he's not the kid's father.

James wasn't saying anything to him.

It was a coincidence.

Then A: whats the problem B: Do you normally need others opinions on meaningless happenings.

Why did he say anything? That's my problem. It was already so overwhelming and anxiety-inducing to see him. It just made it worse for me.

It was a week ago today that I communicated very clearly that he not contact me by any means nor acknowledge me in public. I suppose I consider my kid an extension of myself in this instance (he wouldn't know him if it weren't for me).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I guess the flood gates are open, but if respondents could refrain from name-calling, it would be appreciated. This is a sincere question.

Ex and I ended amiably, but things recently turned a corner and I cannot accept any communication at all. My thought is that he could have smiled at my kid - it would have communicated something affirming without my having to know. I didn't even look at ex, just saw that he was there as as I approached. It felt terribly awkward.

You're nit-picking. Smiling at your kid would be okay, but saying "Hi James' to him crosses some invisible line you've concocted in your head? You asked that we refrain from calling you names, so I will, but know I'm thinking of two right now. You're being ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you go in the cafe if you’re trying to avoid him?

My girlfriend was there waiting for me.