Boundary violation or no?

[Anonymous]

Op, you don't sound like you're doing ok. Which is fine, it happens. But your overreaction to this and subsequent posts makes it sound like you've got some anxiety and maybe some poor coping mechanisms. Have you thought about therapy? It can't hurt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, you don't sound like you're doing ok. Which is fine, it happens. But your overreaction to this and subsequent posts makes it sound like you've got some anxiety and maybe some poor coping mechanisms. Have you thought about therapy? It can't hurt.

I'm in therapy. Yeah, I'm a mess lately.

[Anonymous]

We need the background for science.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is my last clarifying post. You know when you're in a situation and you don't know what to do? As I approached the cafe I thought - "shit, do I turn, go somewhere else, calling girlfriend, what?" I thought the cooler thing to do would just be to go in. In short, I didn't want to draw attention to myself by scurrying away. Anyway, I'm just not ready to see him and it sucks that I did.

So it's your issue, why try to make it his issue? He did nothing wrong

+1. Np. Your choice was to go in or turn and walk away. Both equally potentially dramatic or awkward. But unless the ex boyfriend was a child molester or abusive, he did the reasonable thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Drama City

This. You’re f’ing weird, lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I guess the flood gates are open, but if respondents could refrain from name-calling, it would be appreciated. This is a sincere question.

Ex and I ended amiably, but things recently turned a corner and I cannot accept any communication at all. My thought is that he could have smiled at my kid - it would have communicated something affirming without my having to know. I didn't even look at ex, just saw that he was there as as I approached. It felt terribly awkward.

Grow up, your kids supposedly knew him and he said hi. Are you so petty you want your son to wonder why some man he knew now wont even say hi to him? Put your kid ahead of your childish "awkward" feeling.

+1. I think you are being ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anyways OP I'm sorry for the breakup and that many posters on here aren't being very kind or gentle towards you right now. I would let it go and focus on healing and being happy rather than worry about some boundary violation- which I don't think it was.

[Anonymous]

Crazy! OP, you have a lot of exes don't you.

[Anonymous]

He was being passive aggressive imo but there's nothing to be done about it. If you bring it up he'll know he got to you.

[Anonymous]

Who died and left you to be the Queen? Seems like you're the problem.

[Anonymous]

Don't bring your kid into this. The guy did nothing wrong. He was probably thinking of the kid's feelings and thought it would be weird not to say hi. Stop letting your boyfriends meet your kids in the future. Stop dating until you are emotionally stable.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry you are in pain.

He did nothing wrong.

You're reacting because of your unresolved and painful feelings.

I am curious: why, if the breakup was amicable, did things change later to this extent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry you are in pain.

He did nothing wrong.

You're reacting because of your unresolved and painful feelings.

I am curious: why, if the breakup was amicable, did things change later to this extent?

+ 1. Agree with this poster.

In all likelihood him addressing your kid was innocent. Hope you get over this situation soon.

Ignore the nutty posters on this forum. Most are class A b*tches that spend all day picking others apart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry you are in pain.

He did nothing wrong.

You're reacting because of your unresolved and painful feelings.

I am curious: why, if the breakup was amicable, did things change later to this extent?

+ 1. Agree with this poster.

In all likelihood him addressing your kid was innocent. Hope you get over this situation soon.

Ignore the nutty posters on this forum. Most are class A b*tches that spend all day picking others apart.

I think OP is being a little over the top but you don't think he was effing with her?

Changing the roles a bit. I divorce and my exH (who I have a strict no speaking arrangement with) comes in to a cafe with his sister. If I say hi to sister in his presence I am clearly bringing attention to myself. In a situation where me and exH have explicitly laid out no contact this feels obnoxious. Honestly same would go for a friend. Not technically WRONG but let's be real not innocent.

This is magnified with the kid imo because the relationship clearly has to end and that makes things difficult.

[Anonymous]

^ I see nothing that says he agreed to the no speaking “arrangement “ in the OP scenario. He was also there first. If you have a restraining order on someone, you can’t show up somewhere and demand they leave.