Did you ever think maybe you shouldn’t have had kids?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been thinking this lately. Nothing I can do now, obviously. But if I had to go back and do it all over would I have had kids?

[Anonymous]

You're going to get a lot of hate and shocked reactions, because this is an extremely socially unacceptable view to express. But you aren't alone OP. It's not the majority of people, but it isn't uncommon either.

[Anonymous]

What’s making you feel this way. OP?

[Anonymous]

When the scope of the responsibility of parenthood hit me, I thought "what was I thinking!?" Now, I just go with it and trust I am and will continue to be up for the challenge(s).

[Anonymous]

I have had that thought many times, but as I age, I realize I did the right thing having children. Nothing worse than to age without children and grandchildren. I watched my aunt got through this. After her husband died, she was alone and without me, she would have had nobody.

[Anonymous]

I think that if there was full disclosure, I would have opted out. It haas been a long slow hard row to hoe for us.

[Anonymous]

Nothing makes you grow up faster than being responsible for another human being. It’s natural to mourn your independence and freedom, but what you gain by having kids is priceless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have had that thought many times, but as I age, I realize I did the right thing having children. Nothing worse than to age without children and grandchildren. I watched my aunt got through this. After her husband died, she was alone and without me, she would have had nobody.

Really? I can think of a few things off the top of my head. Cancer, poverty, depression to name a few.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had that thought many times, but as I age, I realize I did the right thing having children. Nothing worse than to age without children and grandchildren. I watched my aunt got through this. After her husband died, she was alone and without me, she would have had nobody.

Really? I can think of a few things off the top of my head. Cancer, poverty, depression to name a few.

Well, perhaps true, but I still think a life with no kids as an elderly person sucks. I watched someone go through it in an assisted living setting. I could tell she had regrets whenever she listened to others talk about their kids/grandkids. It is an empty life in my opinion. She didn't have kids mainly because her husband didn't want them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Well, perhaps true, but I still think a life with no kids as an elderly person sucks. I watched someone go through it in an assisted living setting. I could tell she had regrets whenever she listened to others talk about their kids/grandkids. It is an empty life in my opinion. She didn't have kids mainly because her husband didn't want them.

Yes, Jane Austen, Susan B. Anthony, Helen Mirren, and Oprah Winfrey are famous for their empty lives. Wait, what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s making you feel this way. OP?

That's the important question too, I think. As you say, OP, there's nothing you can do about it now -- so what's making you think about this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had that thought many times, but as I age, I realize I did the right thing having children. Nothing worse than to age without children and grandchildren. I watched my aunt got through this. After her husband died, she was alone and without me, she would have had nobody.

Really? I can think of a few things off the top of my head. Cancer, poverty, depression to name a few.

Well, perhaps true, but I still think a life with no kids as an elderly person sucks. I watched someone go through it in an assisted living setting. I could tell she had regrets whenever she listened to others talk about their kids/grandkids. It is an empty life in my opinion. She didn't have kids mainly because her husband didn't want them.

This is sad if she wanted kids but was mis-matched with a partner who did not. I can see how that would lead to one's life feeling empty. People who don't want kids, though, will not necessarily feel sad when they are old. That 's a whole different set of people. I always wanted kids and went to extreme lengths to have them. To OP's question, I have never once regretted it. However, it's not for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had that thought many times, but as I age, I realize I did the right thing having children. Nothing worse than to age without children and grandchildren. I watched my aunt got through this. After her husband died, she was alone and without me, she would have had nobody.

Really? I can think of a few things off the top of my head. Cancer, poverty, depression to name a few.

Well, perhaps true, but I still think a life with no kids as an elderly person sucks. I watched someone go through it in an assisted living setting. I could tell she had regrets whenever she listened to others talk about their kids/grandkids. It is an empty life in my opinion. She didn't have kids mainly because her husband didn't want them.

The vast majority of lonely old people have kids. The vast majority of old people in assisted living have kids. Having kids is absolutely no guarantee of not being left to fend for yourself in your old age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had that thought many times, but as I age, I realize I did the right thing having children. Nothing worse than to age without children and grandchildren. I watched my aunt got through this. After her husband died, she was alone and without me, she would have had nobody.

Really? I can think of a few things off the top of my head. Cancer, poverty, depression to name a few.

Well, perhaps true, but I still think a life with no kids as an elderly person sucks. I watched someone go through it in an assisted living setting. I could tell she had regrets whenever she listened to others talk about their kids/grandkids. It is an empty life in my opinion. She didn't have kids mainly because her husband didn't want them.

The vast majority of lonely old people have kids. The vast majority of old people in assisted living have kids. Having kids is absolutely no guarantee of not being left to fend for yourself in your old age.

Wait, why is living in an assisted living facility regarded as ‘fending for yourself?’ Some old people do have medical issues that make it difficult for them to live with their families so does that mean their children have abandoned them?

[Anonymous]

I couldn’t find the specific poll that said most parents of older kids wouldn’t have had them again, but these articles are worth reading.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/to-your-health/wp/2015/08/11/the-most-depressing-statistic-imaginable-about-being-a-new-parent/?utm_term=.552e2860d995

https://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/04/01/why-does-anyone-have-children/

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/feb/11/breaking-taboo-parents-who-regret-having-children