Did you ever think maybe you shouldn’t have had kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Well, perhaps true, but I still think a life with no kids as an elderly person sucks. I watched someone go through it in an assisted living setting. I could tell she had regrets whenever she listened to others talk about their kids/grandkids. It is an empty life in my opinion. She didn't have kids mainly because her husband didn't want them.

Yes, Jane Austen, Susan B. Anthony, Helen Mirren, and Oprah Winfrey are famous for their empty lives. Wait, what?

It all fairness, Oprah seems like she's always searching for something. She does not seem content to me. And seriously Jane Austen???? Being a woman in her time in history was pure misery. No shocker that she didn't marry or have kids. If she didn't have the benevolence of her family she might have had to marry.

[Anonymous]

Never. But my husband and I purposely waited 7 years before deciding to have kids. I had a lot of conflicted feelings. We did a lot of amazing things in those 7 years and I began to want something more. Life seemed not complete.

I was 35 and DH 34 When our first was born and while conflicted a bit during pregnancy, the moment he arrived I was over the moon. I knew immediately I wanted another, but decided we wouldn’t broach it until I felt somewhat “back to myself”. That happened when oldest was 19 months and his brother was born 2.5 years after.

These two boys (10 and 12) have brought us and their grandparents endless joy and fun. We are very lucky they have been very easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had this feeling once when someone ,still don't know who was always calling DHS on me and they kept showing up claiming someone was calling saying my kids were being neglected and they would not stop coming around and threatening to take my kids even though my kids were not neglected or abused at all, these people are on a power trip and thats when I had a moment of regretting having kids, because obviously there are some people that think I am a bad mom, and I had a moment of thinking maybe they are right, you can do your best and still be labeled a bad mom by people who barely know you its really sad.

People don’t normally call DHS for a power trip. And, DHS won’t come out to investigate unless they believe there is cause. If they keep showing up, there must be something there. I hope things are better for you and your kids.

[Anonymous]

I don’t regret having kids but do regularly think about how my life would have been different. I’ve lost so much sense of self and I don’t know how to recapture that.

My kids are young still.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. My kids have been one of the best parts of my life. And I wanted to experience as many things as possible. Being a parent is one of those transformative experiences that cannot be matched. Even if every day and every minute isn't awesome.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had this feeling once when someone ,still don't know who was always calling DHS on me and they kept showing up claiming someone was calling saying my kids were being neglected and they would not stop coming around and threatening to take my kids even though my kids were not neglected or abused at all, these people are on a power trip and thats when I had a moment of regretting having kids, because obviously there are some people that think I am a bad mom, and I had a moment of thinking maybe they are right, you can do your best and still be labeled a bad mom by people who barely know you its really sad.

People don’t normally call DHS for a power trip. And, DHS won’t come out to investigate unless they believe there is cause. If they keep showing up, there must be something there. I hope things are better for you and your kids.

PP that’s ridiculous. CPS or DHS comes to investigate WHETHER there is cause, that’s the whole point. And it’s entirely possible for someone to call them for the wrong reasons, just as people do all sorts of things for the wrong reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never. But my husband and I purposely waited 7 years before deciding to have kids. I had a lot of conflicted feelings. We did a lot of amazing things in those 7 years and I began to want something more. Life seemed not complete.

I was 35 and DH 34 When our first was born and while conflicted a bit during pregnancy, the moment he arrived I was over the moon. I knew immediately I wanted another, but decided we wouldn’t broach it until I felt somewhat “back to myself”. That happened when oldest was 19 months and his brother was born 2.5 years after.

These two boys (10 and 12) have brought us and their grandparents endless joy and fun. We are very lucky they have been very easy.

I imagine parenting would be endless joy and fun if I had had easy children.

[Anonymous]

I think about it, especially when I’m watching Ina Garten and ogling her gorgeous home and successful business. There’s no end to the things I’d be able to accomplish if I just had a minute. Right now, I use that minute to go to the bathroom.

I didn’t have kids until I was in my 30s and I look back and wonder what on earth I squandered my time and money on. If I’d wanted to be Ina Garten, I’d have done it then when I had the time. I have more ambition now, and a better perspective of how much I can accomplish when I have the time and resources. So I think once my kids are older and I get some of that back, I’ll do more with it than I would have without kids.

Doesn’t mean I don’t still question my decision to have them though. I think it’s normal reflection.