DS wants his GF to sleep over

[Anonymous]

Over New Years Eve, we let him stay at her house with a bunch of other kids (male and female) to avoid driving home after midnight. Now he thinks we should continue to let them have "sleepovers." He asked if she could stay last night along with another friend (a male). We said no. They were platonic friends for several months before becoming romantic over the past few weeks. They are 16. He thinks we are too strict...are we?

[Anonymous]

Nope, not too strict. That would never happen in our house. If they want to have sex, they will find a way, so you may want to be having new and direct safe sex and pregnancy discussions. But, as for me, I don't intend to give them the opportunity.

[Anonymous]

why not? if they are being careful and her parents are ok with it I don't understand why you would say no. I was allowed to stay at my BF's house at 16. The only difference is I'm from Europe. I do think Americans are hypocrites about this. "If they want to have sex they will find a way" = ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

I would say no.
I slept at my boyfriends house once when I was 17 and we were in seperate rooms on seperate floors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope, not too strict. That would never happen in our house. If they want to have sex, they will find a way, so you may want to be having new and direct safe sex and pregnancy discussions. But, as for me, I don't intend to give them the opportunity.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope, not too strict. That would never happen in our house. If they want to have sex, they will find a way, so you may want to be having new and direct safe sex and pregnancy discussions. But, as for me, I don't intend to give them the opportunity.

+1

+2 your house your rules.

[Anonymous]

Nope nope nope. Agree with 7:41 1000%.

-mom of a 16 year old son

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope, not too strict. That would never happen in our house. If they want to have sex, they will find a way, so you may want to be having new and direct safe sex and pregnancy discussions. But, as for me, I don't intend to give them the opportunity.

+1

+2 your house your rules.

Agree. No way. Except for in unusual circumstances like NYE.

Also second the PP who said make sure you’ve had the pregnancy safe sex talk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope, not too strict. That would never happen in our house. If they want to have sex, they will find a way, so you may want to be having new and direct safe sex and pregnancy discussions. But, as for me, I don't intend to give them the opportunity.

+1

+2 your house your rules.

Also agree.

When I was a teenager there were maybe two instances I was allowed to be at a coed sleepover—and they were special occasions like you mentioned. It was very clear to me that when my parents allowed this it was NEVER meant to become the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:why not? if they are being careful and her parents are ok with it I don't understand why you would say no. I was allowed to stay at my BF's house at 16. The only difference is I'm from Europe. I do think Americans are hypocrites about this. "If they want to have sex they will find a way" = ridiculous.

Cultural context. You slept over in the context of your country with its cultural norms and expectations. There are different ones here.

[Anonymous]

I would say yes but have her sleep in the guest room.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't allow this in a million years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say yes but have her sleep in the guest room.

The only way I would do that is if I tied a string of empty soda cans around the door knob to the guest room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say yes but have her sleep in the guest room.

The only way I would do that is if I tied a string of empty soda cans around the door knob to the guest room.

Love this. I mean, who didn’t sneak out of their room in the middle of the night after parents were asleep ... better make sure you change the sheets in the guest room or DSs room in the morning if you allow this, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:why not? if they are being careful and her parents are ok with it I don't understand why you would say no. I was allowed to stay at my BF's house at 16. The only difference is I'm from Europe. I do think Americans are hypocrites about this. "If they want to have sex they will find a way" = ridiculous.

Why is it ridiculous? Why does it only matter if her parents are ok with it, his clearly aren't.