My kids are 8 and 9 and I think I want a third

[Anonymous]

I don’t know whether I am just feeling like this is my last chance (I’m 40) or what, but I have baby fever lately. My daughters say they would love a baby sibling, but I’m not sure that would be the case once someone had to share a room... my husband isn’t so hot on the idea, but he could be convinced. He’s 47 and feels like it may be a little late. I am from a big family (number 2 of 5) and I loved taking care of the younger kids. It made having a baby undaunting and I truly loved having newborns. But, there are factors like the fact that I work full-time, the toddler years, the bigger car, and the difficulty traveling that can’t be ignored. Still, I’m panicking that I might only have a decade left with kids at home. Anyone else have a big break and then have a baby?

[Anonymous]

I am following as I am in a similar situation. But my kids are 7 and 5. Difference is husband also really wants another one.

[Anonymous]

First, can you afford those increased expenses? (a year off work, bigger car/minivan, increased travel costs, daycare, etc?)

[Anonymous]

Go volunteer at a hospital to be a newborn snuggler.

Eventually you have to be done. You don't have babies for ever.

The beautiful thing is getting to raise your kids and having them return to you as adults and with the grandbabies that you can spoil.

I'm curious as to what you mean about feeling scared to have a home without kids?

I think you need to work on developing your identity outside of mommy and whatever you do for work.

Also spice things up again with your husband. I loved being a mom, but I was excited for me and DH to have the house back to ourselves again and free to do what we want.

[Anonymous]

Don't know what to tell you, but I don't think it's fair for you to force the girls to share a room at this point in time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go volunteer at a hospital to be a newborn snuggler.

Eventually you have to be done. You don't have babies for ever.

The beautiful thing is getting to raise your kids and having them return to you as adults and with the grandbabies that you can spoil.

I'm curious as to what you mean about feeling scared to have a home without kids?

I think you need to work on developing your identity outside of mommy and whatever you do for work.

Also spice things up again with your husband. I loved being a mom, but I was excited for me and DH to have the house back to ourselves again and free to do what we want.

I like having a busy house with kids and life and people. I am not looong forward to the quiet years with just DH. I love him dearly, but, like I said, I grew up in a big family and I like the activity. We also have two dogs and will always have pets. I have an identity-a great career, friends, hobbies, etc. I don’t think it’s a moral failing to consider having another child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't know what to tell you, but I don't think it's fair for you to force the girls to share a room at this point in time.

We have a guest room-I just don’t really want one of them far away from us in the basement ... but maybe once they are a little older. And to answer another PP, yes we could afford it.

[Anonymous]

No, I would never do it. It is just your hormones talking, OP. Your new baby would basically be raised as an only child by older parents and siblings who are like parents. It isn't fair to your older kids. I think you forget how many sleepless nights and crying jags there are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I would never do it. It is just your hormones talking, OP. Your new baby would basically be raised as an only child by older parents and siblings who are like parents. It isn't fair to your older kids. I think you forget how many sleepless nights and crying jags there are.

Maybe. There were sleepless nights but my kids didn’t cry much as babies. People commented on it a lot at the time. It’s not just me suppressing it. One worry is that this baby will not be easy like the others. The pregnancies were easy, too.

As for the age difference, I truly loved having sisters 7 and 12 Years younger. I helped out a lot when they were little, taught them how to drive stick, and have so many fond memories of being the big sister. I still love it. I also have siblings 1 and 2 years apart. It’s a different relationship, but one that is really valuable-at least it has been to me (and the other older siblings in my family).

[Anonymous]

We had a 13, 9 and newborn and we absolutely love our family life. Older kids are now college age and I wouldn’t change a thing. So it’s really up to you and what’s best for your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know whether I am just feeling like this is my last chance (I’m 40) or what, but I have baby fever lately. My daughters say they would love a baby sibling, but I’m not sure that would be the case once someone had to share a room... my husband isn’t so hot on the idea, but he could be convinced. He’s 47 and feels like it may be a little late. I am from a big family (number 2 of 5) and I loved taking care of the younger kids. It made having a baby undaunting and I truly loved having newborns. But, there are factors like the fact that I work full-time, the toddler years, the bigger car, and the difficulty traveling that can’t be ignored. Still, I’m panicking that I might only have a decade left with kids at home. Anyone else have a big break and then have a baby?

That doesn't sound like you want another baby. It sounds like you're afraid of life without kids at home. What about that makes you so worried?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had a 13, 9 and newborn and we absolutely love our family life. Older kids are now college age and I wouldn’t change a thing. So it’s really up to you and what’s best for your family.

Good to hear. Thanks.

—OP

[Anonymous]

i don't see why not?

my mom had me at 39 having my sister and my brother. my sister is 17 years older and my brother 12. she told me that everyone judged her. she had trouble conceiving and people couldn't understand why she was upset when she already had almost grown up children. but my siblings and father were on board which is really all that matters.

needless to say I am thrilled my mom persisted

I loved my childhood and I am close to my siblings as adult. my daughters are 6.5 and 4 and I am expecting another girl in June.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't know what to tell you, but I don't think it's fair for you to force the girls to share a room at this point in time.

hahahahaha
ridiculous

[Anonymous]

I wanted 4, had 2. On purpose. Looking back I am really glad I didn't have more kids. I am in mid 40s and when I thought I was pregnant a year ago, and once 2 years ago, I was not happy at all, felt like it would be a nightmare. Unless I had millions and could pay everything to somebody, which would make me a crappy mom to that potential kid. My kids are teens and it really would be hard on them as well. I have nowhere near energy I had in my late 20s and 30s, I am tired, and honestly it gets worse when they are teens. It is nonstop driving, even if they don't do activities, to see this friend, that friend, this concert, that museum. And toddler tantrums have nothing on teen tantrums(or what they think is normal behavior.) So, you must do what is right for you, this is just my perspective, no way now, maybe when I was 32. I do know people who have second set of kids in their 40s or even mid 40s. They manage fine(at least that is how it looks to me on the surface,) but they are seriously more like grandparents, which is in many ways a good thing. They accept that teens will be teens and as they had done it before, it doesn't frazzle them or as they are nearing 60s they just don't care and don't have energy to care about insane teen tantrums, which in itself probably prevents those same behaviors.