My kids are 8 and 9 and I think I want a third

[Anonymous]

Friend of mine was in that boat and after she had her third kid she decided to have a fourth so the two younger boys would be a pair. She and her husband do a lot of zone defense (one person takes two and the other takes two) for family outings. She's also a very patient and calm parent.

[Anonymous]

As a counter to all the my parents had my siblings years apart and it's all so fun and we're so close I'll say my parents had my younger sister and I 10 and 12 years later. We are not close and my parents were too worn out to effectively parent toddlers and teenagers. They admit this. But at the time they did it because my mom wanted another baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My third pregnancy kicked my ass. And he was a terrible sleeper. He wpuld only sleep on my chest on his stomach for months!

Just because you had easy pregnancies and easy babies doesn't mean you will be guaranteed that!

Not to mention that you are an older mother with a geriatric pregnancy. Everything is older... I had no trouble getting pregnant with my son at 40 but the rest of my body started falling apart! I pulled out my back lowering him into his crib and got carpel tunnel from carrying him wrong.

You are putting off time with your husband for another ten to thirteen years, OP. And what if there are issues with the new baby?

you sound like one of those women who had kids on her early twenties and can't wait to get rid of them. but people who started later often don't feel like they because they had all the fun they wanted in their twenties. I lived with my husband for many years before having children and while I don't mind having an empty nest I am certainly not counting the days to it, either.

DP. I am not counting either, had kids in late 20s. DS in college now, other in HS. But, the truth is that I am tired. True, my DD has Hyper ADHD and is like a rock star and I am entourage! How old are your children now? If you had many years to enjoy with your DH before kids, that it great. But, for most people, people without a lot of money, 20s and 30s and a grind one way or another, work, lack of enough money, etc..So, not much fun for so many, but easier without kids. And above PP does not say she was a young mother, on the contrary, she says she got pregnant at 40, so how do you figure she had kids early?

[Anonymous]

OP, it really sounds like you want another in your heart. Go for it ASAP. Best of luck to you.

[Anonymous]

You are the type who needs to care for babies to fulfil your existence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are the type who needs to care for babies to fulfil your existence.

Or she is a loving person who has a lot to offer and loves kids and has a life full of joy with or without kids. You, on the other hand, sound jealous. Nice and happy people are nice and happy and caring with or without kids, nasty harpies are nasty all the time, also regardless of kids, and nasty to their kids. Nasty people should not have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know whether I am just feeling like this is my last chance (I’m 40) or what, but I have baby fever lately. My daughters say they would love a baby sibling, but I’m not sure that would be the case once someone had to share a room... my husband isn’t so hot on the idea, but he could be convinced. He’s 47 and feels like it may be a little late. I am from a big family (number 2 of 5) and I loved taking care of the younger kids. It made having a baby undaunting and I truly loved having newborns. But, there are factors like the fact that I work full-time, the toddler years, the bigger car, and the difficulty traveling that can’t be ignored. Still, I’m panicking that I might only have a decade left with kids at home. Anyone else have a big break and then have a baby?

Nothing of what you described sounds like a terrible predicament. Having a child when you're 40, people do it every day. Older siblings already in place, eh, happens every day. You're not too old, and your other children aren't too old. The only things that matter are whether you want to, whether DH is on board, and whether you can afford it.

We had a third when I was 44 (had a DS8 and a DD3.5 at that point). My DH was 51. I work full time too, we already had a SUV, and we only travel as a family in a car anyway. So I didn't feel like it was a huge style cramper.

[Anonymous]

Go for it if you really feel like you're not done. My oldest is 7, and we have 6 month old twins, with an age gap of a little over 6.5 years. The babies get hauled all over to the big one's activities and they're both pretty easy going. Maybe it was luck, or maybe they've learned to be a bit flexible since they've always had their afternoon naps on the go. I wouldn't trade it for anything, even though we initially wanted our kids closer together. My older daughter loves them so much. The twins are boy/girl, and yes, eventually the big girl and baby girl will probably end up sharing a room.

[Anonymous]

Selfish act.

[Anonymous]

A friend is trying to do this. Unfortunately she's had a lot of miscarriages, a late loss, and it's been hard on her and the other kids. Maybe you'd be lucky but it's easy to overlook the toll and heartbreak that can happen at this age. I'm not sure if they are stopping or continuing to try.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for all the comments. This is OP. I would not go to great pains to do this-no miscarriages followed by trying again, no IVF, etc. Will keep thinking it over for the moment...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for all the comments. This is OP. I would not go to great pains to do this-no miscarriages followed by trying again, no IVF, etc. Will keep thinking it over for the moment...

I support you in your decision to go for #3. However once you start trying you don't really know how you will if you face failure.

I thought if I suffered mosxsriage when trying for #3 I would abandon the plan because it would be a sign that I was too old. But in fact it made me all the more determined to make it happen. I would have never predicted that. Just something you should be aware of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for all the comments. This is OP. I would not go to great pains to do this-no miscarriages followed by trying again, no IVF, etc. Will keep thinking it over for the moment...

I support you in your decision to go for #3. However once you start trying you don't really know how you will if you face failure.

I thought if I suffered mosxsriage when trying for #3 I would abandon the plan because it would be a sign that I was too old. But in fact it made me all the more determined to make it happen. I would have never predicted that. Just something you should be aware of.

Thanks. I don’t think I would think of it as a challenge but rather as a sign. We will see. It may never happen, and that would be fine too.

[Anonymous]

We were in the same boat except with just one at 7yo. Life was great but we knew life would be great with a second kid too. We gave ourselves two months to try and see what fate handed us. I'm now 7 months pregnant and excited about our expanding family. FWIW Being 40 and pregnant has not been much different than being 32 and pregnant. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

This is terribly selfish to do to your kids and husband. It will totally change family life- mom now has to hang back with the baby while the big kids do fun stuff. The household revolves around naps again. The youngest will effectively grow up like an only child and he left alone with old parents when the older ones go off to college in a few years.

You don't get to be a mom of young kids forever. They grow up and leave, that's life. You can't delay the inevitable by just forcing another baby into the situation. The time has passed. Enjoy your family for what it is now.