My kids are 8 and 9 and I think I want a third

[Anonymous]

My third pregnancy kicked my ass. And he was a terrible sleeper. He wpuld only sleep on my chest on his stomach for months!

Just because you had easy pregnancies and easy babies doesn't mean you will be guaranteed that!

[Anonymous]

When my bothers and I were 19, 16, & 13, my parents had s baby. Then another 3 years later. Younger ones are now in college. We all love each other. It’s been good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't know what to tell you, but I don't think it's fair for you to force the girls to share a room at this point in time.

hahahahaha
ridiculous

Why don't you give up your room for the baby then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I would never do it. It is just your hormones talking, OP. Your new baby would basically be raised as an only child by older parents and siblings who are like parents. It isn't fair to your older kids. I think you forget how many sleepless nights and crying jags there are.

Maybe. There were sleepless nights but my kids didn’t cry much as babies. People commented on it a lot at the time. It’s not just me suppressing it. One worry is that this baby will not be easy like the others. The pregnancies were easy, too.

As for the age difference, I truly loved having sisters 7 and 12 Years younger. I helped out a lot when they were little, taught them how to drive stick, and have so many fond memories of being the big sister. I still love it. I also have siblings 1 and 2 years apart. It’s a different relationship, but one that is really valuable-at least it has been to me (and the other older siblings in my family).

You don't need to have another baby to continue having good memories of being a big sister.

Just because you loved being a big sister doesn't mean your girls will especially when they realize what it means to have a baby in the house and they have to give everything up.

I concur with pp you need to find another focus. You can't keep having babies forever eventually it ill be you nd your Dh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go volunteer at a hospital to be a newborn snuggler.

Eventually you have to be done. You don't have babies for ever.

The beautiful thing is getting to raise your kids and having them return to you as adults and with the grandbabies that you can spoil.

I'm curious as to what you mean about feeling scared to have a home without kids?

I think you need to work on developing your identity outside of mommy and whatever you do for work.

Also spice things up again with your husband. I loved being a mom, but I was excited for me and DH to have the house back to ourselves again and free to do what we want.

I like having a busy house with kids and life and people. I am not looong forward to the quiet years with just DH. I love him dearly, but, like I said, I grew up in a big family and I like the activity. We also have two dogs and will always have pets. I have an identity-a great career, friends, hobbies, etc. I don’t think it’s a moral failing to consider having another child

It's itresting you took my comment as saying you have a moral failing. That's not what I said to you at all.
You are not dealing with something and using babies/kids to cover it.

[Anonymous]

I personally would not given your age, not because the age gap.

I have kids ages 1, 7 and 9 and love the gap. Older kids adore baby and quite helpful.

We had third at 37 and I felt I was pushing it. I prayed baby would be healthy. I was very afraid of risks including birth defects.

If you are ok with having a special needs child, go for it. I don’t think you can just expect a healthy baby automatically in your 40s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know whether I am just feeling like this is my last chance (I’m 40) or what, but I have baby fever lately. My daughters say they would love a baby sibling, but I’m not sure that would be the case once someone had to share a room... my husband isn’t so hot on the idea, but he could be convinced. He’s 47 and feels like it may be a little late. I am from a big family (number 2 of 5) and I loved taking care of the younger kids. It made having a baby undaunting and I truly loved having newborns. But, there are factors like the fact that I work full-time, the toddler years, the bigger car, and the difficulty traveling that can’t be ignored. Still, I’m panicking that I might only have a decade left with kids at home. Anyone else have a big break and then have a baby?

That doesn't sound like you want another baby. It sounds like you're afraid of life without kids at home. What about that makes you so worried?

I'm curious about that too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know whether I am just feeling like this is my last chance (I’m 40) or what, but I have baby fever lately. My daughters say they would love a baby sibling, but I’m not sure that would be the case once someone had to share a room... my husband isn’t so hot on the idea, but he could be convinced. He’s 47 and feels like it may be a little late. I am from a big family (number 2 of 5) and I loved taking care of the younger kids. It made having a baby undaunting and I truly loved having newborns. But, there are factors like the fact that I work full-time, the toddler years, the bigger car, and the difficulty traveling that can’t be ignored. Still, I’m panicking that I might only have a decade left with kids at home. Anyone else have a big break and then have a baby?

That doesn't sound like you want another baby. It sounds like you're afraid of life without kids at home. What about that makes you so worried?

I'm curious about that too.

I think she's afraid of getting older. Babies remind her of her family (youth) having babies is general associated with being young . Babies are young. Kids in college home alone with husband is old. OP is afraid to age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I personally would not given your age, not because the age gap.

I have kids ages 1, 7 and 9 and love the gap. Older kids adore baby and quite helpful.

We had third at 37 and I felt I was pushing it. I prayed baby would be healthy. I was very afraid of risks including birth defects.

If you are ok with having a special needs child, go for it. I don’t think you can just expect a healthy baby automatically in your 40s.

the risks are certainly greater at 40, but you can't expect a healthy baby automatically at any age. and even if the baby is 100% healthy, bad stuff can happen later (e.g. cancer, accidents).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't know what to tell you, but I don't think it's fair for you to force the girls to share a room at this point in time.

hahahahaha
ridiculous

Why don't you give up your room for the baby then.

i don't have "my room". i share a room with my husband though my daughters often sleep there as well. and as it happens the baby, should she arrive, would sleep there, at least initially. but that is not even the point. children are not entitled to separate rooms, and they it's questionable whether they need them. i was a third child and slept in a living room, dining room, and at some point, under a piano. i didn't hurt me in any way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My third pregnancy kicked my ass. And he was a terrible sleeper. He wpuld only sleep on my chest on his stomach for months!

Just because you had easy pregnancies and easy babies doesn't mean you will be guaranteed that!

Not to mention that you are an older mother with a geriatric pregnancy. Everything is older... I had no trouble getting pregnant with my son at 40 but the rest of my body started falling apart! I pulled out my back lowering him into his crib and got carpel tunnel from carrying him wrong.

You are putting off time with your husband for another ten to thirteen years, OP. And what if there are issues with the new baby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My third pregnancy kicked my ass. And he was a terrible sleeper. He wpuld only sleep on my chest on his stomach for months!

Just because you had easy pregnancies and easy babies doesn't mean you will be guaranteed that!

Not to mention that you are an older mother with a geriatric pregnancy. Everything is older... I had no trouble getting pregnant with my son at 40 but the rest of my body started falling apart! I pulled out my back lowering him into his crib and got carpel tunnel from carrying him wrong.

You are putting off time with your husband for another ten to thirteen years, OP. And what if there are issues with the new baby?

you sound like one of those women who had kids on her early twenties and can't wait to get rid of them. but people who started later often don't feel like they because they had all the fun they wanted in their twenties. I lived with my husband for many years before having children and while I don't mind having an empty nest I am certainly not counting the days to it, either.

[Anonymous]

I had siblings that much older than me, and I loved it. I mean, I'm sure I would have loved to have a sibling close to me in age, but I didn't and I loved the siblings that I had. We are super close now as adults and we all live in the DMV. My sister is 9 years older than me and she is the most important person in my life outside of my husband and kids.

If I were you, I would stop birth control, and not try but not prevent. And if it happens, there you go, it was meant to be!

[Anonymous]

My mom had my baby brother when I was 8 and my older sister was 10. He was the best thing that happened to our family. We are so close. We are chilling with a Christmas movie on as I type this. Honestly- it was wonderful for our family. Now to your other concerns- my DH was 47 when our DD was born. I am 10 years younger- but its been absolutely fine.

[Anonymous]

You will be giving up a lot of quality time with your older kids to accommodate the baby. At 8 and 9,: they are just at the age when you can do a lot of fun activities with them, like travel, sports,etc. . .