First World Problem: Disrespectful Cleaning Woman

[Anonymous]

I know, I know....such a 1st world problem, but I am wondering if anyone runs into problems with a rude or disrespectful cleaning lady. I have and wonder if 1) I am too sensitive, 2) my being nice and friendly is mistaken for weakness and somehow inviting it, or 3) it's just typical these days. Two examples (since she was just here):

1.) I walked into the bedroom to check on something (I had given her instructions last time about it and she didn't do it), and she said, "I know, I know. But you're in the way, and you can leave." Then she should made a go-away motion with her hand. (Yes, really!)

2.) I wanted to give her a holiday bonus, which would be double the $120 fee. I wrote out a check for $240, and she told me that she wanted the bonus amount in cash. I said I didn't have $120 lying around, and she told me there is an ATM a few blocks away and I could go get cash - and she'd wait. I told her I didn't want to go out in the rain, but she insisted she wanted cash. So, in order to keep her happy, I grabbed my umbrella and went out.

Am I making too big a deal over these types of things? Is it just stuff one needs to put up with to keep a cleaning lady?

[Anonymous]

The first, nbd. The second, wtf?

[Anonymous]

You need to fire her and find your self esteem. It is not your fault that she's disrespectful. It is your fault, however, that you are taking this. You confront her and then fire her, or just summarily fire her, but under no circumstances should you keep her after you tell her she's rude. Your cleaning lady can do a lot of bad things to your stuff and to you. Don't even give her the chance.

[Anonymous]

You need to fire her, and get a competent cleaning lady. I would never put up with that crap.

[Anonymous]

Having a cleaning lady sounds like no fun. Perhaps clean your own house?

[Anonymous]

Fire her.

What is difficult?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to fire her and find your self esteem. It is not your fault that she's disrespectful. It is your fault, however, that you are taking this. You confront her and then fire her, or just summarily fire her, but under no circumstances should you keep her after you tell her she's rude. Your cleaning lady can do a lot of bad things to your stuff and to you. Don't even give her the chance.

Thanks. You are 100% right about the self-esteem issue. The fear is that she IS a good cleaning lady and I might have a hard time finding one as good. That's my dilemma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to fire her and find your self esteem. It is not your fault that she's disrespectful. It is your fault, however, that you are taking this. You confront her and then fire her, or just summarily fire her, but under no circumstances should you keep her after you tell her she's rude. Your cleaning lady can do a lot of bad things to your stuff and to you. Don't even give her the chance.

Thanks. You are 100% right about the self-esteem issue. The fear is that she IS a good cleaning lady and I might have a hard time finding one as good. That's my dilemma.

Use a service. There are plenty of quality cleaning people out there. I agree with pp, you need to find your spine. If your cleaning lady is walking all over you, I can't imagine what the rest of your life is like. Therapy!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having a cleaning lady sounds like no fun. Perhaps clean your own house?

I had up until two years ago, at which time I developed a slight disability. (It's not obvious to a casual observer.) I can do minor things myself (like dusting) but I need help with with vacuuming, mopping floors, the bigger stuff.

[Anonymous]

Next time she cleans, ask if she can find your spine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to fire her and find your self esteem. It is not your fault that she's disrespectful. It is your fault, however, that you are taking this. You confront her and then fire her, or just summarily fire her, but under no circumstances should you keep her after you tell her she's rude. Your cleaning lady can do a lot of bad things to your stuff and to you. Don't even give her the chance.

Thanks. You are 100% right about the self-esteem issue. The fear is that she IS a good cleaning lady and I might have a hard time finding one as good. That's my dilemma.

That's a dilemma that will be good for you to confront and resolve. Whether she's a competent cleaning lady or not is irrelevant. What's at issue here is her problematic behavior and yours, in response to hers. You need to fire her. Before you hire her replacement, do some therapy-guided work on why you've tolerated her behavior, and how you're going to ensure you don't tolerate this kind of inappropriate, unprofessional behavior in future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to fire her and find your self esteem. It is not your fault that she's disrespectful. It is your fault, however, that you are taking this. You confront her and then fire her, or just summarily fire her, but under no circumstances should you keep her after you tell her she's rude. Your cleaning lady can do a lot of bad things to your stuff and to you. Don't even give her the chance.

Thanks. You are 100% right about the self-esteem issue. The fear is that she IS a good cleaning lady and I might have a hard time finding one as good. That's my dilemma.

There are a million competent, professional, respectful cleaning ladies out there, OP. I suspect you will have difficulty doing the actual firing of this woman, though. Do you have a set schedule with her, or can you just fade away by not contacting her for another cleaning?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to fire her and find your self esteem. It is not your fault that she's disrespectful. It is your fault, however, that you are taking this. You confront her and then fire her, or just summarily fire her, but under no circumstances should you keep her after you tell her she's rude. Your cleaning lady can do a lot of bad things to your stuff and to you. Don't even give her the chance.

Thanks. You are 100% right about the self-esteem issue. The fear is that she IS a good cleaning lady and I might have a hard time finding one as good. That's my dilemma.

That's a dilemma that will be good for you to confront and resolve. Whether she's a competent cleaning lady or not is irrelevant. What's at issue here is her problematic behavior and yours, in response to hers. You need to fire her. Before you hire her replacement, do some therapy-guided work on why you've tolerated her behavior, and how you're going to ensure you don't tolerate this kind of inappropriate, unprofessional behavior in future.

Start your therapy, by the way, by exploring why you felt the need to qualify your subject line with the phrase, "first world problem."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to fire her and find your self esteem. It is not your fault that she's disrespectful. It is your fault, however, that you are taking this. You confront her and then fire her, or just summarily fire her, but under no circumstances should you keep her after you tell her she's rude. Your cleaning lady can do a lot of bad things to your stuff and to you. Don't even give her the chance.

Thanks. You are 100% right about the self-esteem issue. The fear is that she IS a good cleaning lady and I might have a hard time finding one as good. That's my dilemma.

Use a service. There are plenty of quality cleaning people out there. I agree with pp, you need to find your spine. If your cleaning lady is walking all over you, I can't imagine what the rest of your life is like. Therapy!!!

Yes, the self-esteem is a separate issue. I'm aware of it - and working on it. A good starting point would be not to take guff from the cleaning lady.

Seems like the feedback is unanimous. Time to find someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to fire her and find your self esteem. It is not your fault that she's disrespectful. It is your fault, however, that you are taking this. You confront her and then fire her, or just summarily fire her, but under no circumstances should you keep her after you tell her she's rude. Your cleaning lady can do a lot of bad things to your stuff and to you. Don't even give her the chance.

Thanks. You are 100% right about the self-esteem issue. The fear is that she IS a good cleaning lady and I might have a hard time finding one as good. That's my dilemma.

That's a dilemma that will be good for you to confront and resolve. Whether she's a competent cleaning lady or not is irrelevant. What's at issue here is her problematic behavior and yours, in response to hers. You need to fire her. Before you hire her replacement, do some therapy-guided work on why you've tolerated her behavior, and how you're going to ensure you don't tolerate this kind of inappropriate, unprofessional behavior in future.

That's a good suggestion. (We have some astute posters here in DCUM.) I'm aware it's something I need to focus on.