First World Problem: Disrespectful Cleaning Woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know, I know....such a 1st world problem, but I am wondering if anyone runs into problems with a rude or disrespectful cleaning lady. I have and wonder if 1) I am too sensitive, 2) my being nice and friendly is mistaken for weakness and somehow inviting it, or 3) it's just typical these days. Two examples (since she was just here):

1.) I walked into the bedroom to check on something (I had given her instructions last time about it and she didn't do it), and she said, "I know, I know. But you're in the way, and you can leave." Then she should made a go-away motion with her hand. (Yes, really!)

2.) I wanted to give her a holiday bonus, which would be double the $120 fee. I wrote out a check for $240, and she told me that she wanted the bonus amount in cash. I said I didn't have $120 lying around, and she told me there is an ATM a few blocks away and I could go get cash - and she'd wait. I told her I didn't want to go out in the rain, but she insisted she wanted cash. So, in order to keep her happy, I grabbed my umbrella and went out.

Am I making too big a deal over these types of things? Is it just stuff one needs to put up with to keep a cleaning lady?

I can't believe you put up with her, especially that ATM thing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to fire her and find your self esteem. It is not your fault that she's disrespectful. It is your fault, however, that you are taking this. You confront her and then fire her, or just summarily fire her, but under no circumstances should you keep her after you tell her she's rude. Your cleaning lady can do a lot of bad things to your stuff and to you. Don't even give her the chance.

Thanks. You are 100% right about the self-esteem issue. The fear is that she IS a good cleaning lady and I might have a hard time finding one as good. That's my dilemma.

There are a million competent, professional, respectful cleaning ladies out there, OP. I suspect you will have difficulty doing the actual firing of this woman, though. Do you have a set schedule with her, or can you just fade away by not contacting her for another cleaning?

It's irregular, but averages about once a month. She usually calls a few days ahead of time to tell me she's available. (Sometimes I accept, other times zi don't. Depends on my own schedule.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to fire her and find your self esteem. It is not your fault that she's disrespectful. It is your fault, however, that you are taking this. You confront her and then fire her, or just summarily fire her, but under no circumstances should you keep her after you tell her she's rude. Your cleaning lady can do a lot of bad things to your stuff and to you. Don't even give her the chance.

Thanks. You are 100% right about the self-esteem issue. The fear is that she IS a good cleaning lady and I might have a hard time finding one as good. That's my dilemma.

That's a dilemma that will be good for you to confront and resolve. Whether she's a competent cleaning lady or not is irrelevant. What's at issue here is her problematic behavior and yours, in response to hers. You need to fire her. Before you hire her replacement, do some therapy-guided work on why you've tolerated her behavior, and how you're going to ensure you don't tolerate this kind of inappropriate, unprofessional behavior in future.

Start your therapy, by the way, by exploring why you felt the need to qualify your subject line with the phrase, "first world problem."

Interesting. Is my use of that phrase indicative of poor self-esteem? I thought I'm just showing I'm aware that people have much worse problems in this world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to fire her and find your self esteem. It is not your fault that she's disrespectful. It is your fault, however, that you are taking this. You confront her and then fire her, or just summarily fire her, but under no circumstances should you keep her after you tell her she's rude. Your cleaning lady can do a lot of bad things to your stuff and to you. Don't even give her the chance.

Thanks. You are 100% right about the self-esteem issue. The fear is that she IS a good cleaning lady and I might have a hard time finding one as good. That's my dilemma.

There are a million competent, professional, respectful cleaning ladies out there, OP. I suspect you will have difficulty doing the actual firing of this woman, though. Do you have a set schedule with her, or can you just fade away by not contacting her for another cleaning?

It's irregular, but averages about once a month. She usually calls a few days ahead of time to tell me she's available. (Sometimes I accept, other times zi don't. Depends on my own schedule.)

That will make it easier for you. "We don't need you this month, thanks!" Repeat until she gets the hint or you decide to just fire her more directly.

[Anonymous]

While she may be an efficient + thorough cleaner, her attitude just sucks.

I would let her go.
Her ATM comment was completely out of line!!

Ask around the neighborhood, someone can likely give you a referral to a better person I am sure.

One who comes w/out the attitude!
Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to fire her and find your self esteem. It is not your fault that she's disrespectful. It is your fault, however, that you are taking this. You confront her and then fire her, or just summarily fire her, but under no circumstances should you keep her after you tell her she's rude. Your cleaning lady can do a lot of bad things to your stuff and to you. Don't even give her the chance.

Thanks. You are 100% right about the self-esteem issue. The fear is that she IS a good cleaning lady and I might have a hard time finding one as good. That's my dilemma.

There are a million competent, professional, respectful cleaning ladies out there, OP. I suspect you will have difficulty doing the actual firing of this woman, though. Do you have a set schedule with her, or can you just fade away by not contacting her for another cleaning?

It's irregular, but averages about once a month. She usually calls a few days ahead of time to tell me she's available. (Sometimes I accept, other times zi don't. Depends on my own schedule.)

That will make it easier for you. "We don't need you this month, thanks!" Repeat until she gets the hint or you decide to just fire her more directly.

Thanks. Good idea.

[Anonymous]

Omg! I would be so annoyed with the 2nd. Use a service. I never get anything but respect from mine (if you’re in Falls Church or Arlington I’ll give you the rec).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While she may be an efficient + thorough cleaner, her attitude just sucks.

I would let her go.
Her ATM comment was completely out of line!!

Ask around the neighborhood, someone can likely give you a referral to a better person I am sure.

One who comes w/out the attitude!
Good luck.

Thanks. Good idea to ask around the neighborhood. As soon as we pass the holidays, I'll call a few neighbors I know.

(Yeah, that ATM "direction" really bugged me. It was obviously the final straw that incentivized me to post here about it.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg! I would be so annoyed with the 2nd. Use a service. I never get anything but respect from mine (if you’re in Falls Church or Arlington I’ll give you the rec).

Not quite, but close enough. Can you post it? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

You pay her $120 to clean your house and you expect her to have a smile on her face and gratitude in her heart. I would resent you too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg! I would be so annoyed with the 2nd. Use a service. I never get anything but respect from mine (if you’re in Falls Church or Arlington I’ll give you the rec).

Not quite, but close enough. Can you post it? Thanks.

Sure. I use Wellnest. If they’re in your area (you can check on their website) I can email you a code to use on your first cleaning. I used to have an independent cleaning lady too and a service is so much easier. You can schedule online, pay online, and they’re accountable to someone.

[Anonymous]

Fire her via text and be done with it. She doesn't deserve more than that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know, I know....such a 1st world problem, but I am wondering if anyone runs into problems with a rude or disrespectful cleaning lady. I have and wonder if 1) I am too sensitive, 2) my being nice and friendly is mistaken for weakness and somehow inviting it, or 3) it's just typical these days. Two examples (since she was just here):

1.) I walked into the bedroom to check on something (I had given her instructions last time about it and she didn't do it), and she said, "I know, I know. But you're in the way, and you can leave." Then she should made a go-away motion with her hand. (Yes, really!)

2.) I wanted to give her a holiday bonus, which would be double the $120 fee. I wrote out a check for $240, and she told me that she wanted the bonus amount in cash. I said I didn't have $120 lying around, and she told me there is an ATM a few blocks away and I could go get cash - and she'd wait. I told her I didn't want to go out in the rain, but she insisted she wanted cash. So, in order to keep her happy, I grabbed my umbrella and went out.

Am I making too big a deal over these types of things? Is it just stuff one needs to put up with to keep a cleaning lady?

I can't believe you put up with her, especially that ATM thing

She wants cash as a gift, so it's not a paycheck. If it's a gift, no taxes. Get it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You pay her $120 to clean your house and you expect her to have a smile on her face and gratitude in her heart. I would resent you too.

^^^ There's one in every crowd, isn't there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg! I would be so annoyed with the 2nd. Use a service. I never get anything but respect from mine (if you’re in Falls Church or Arlington I’ll give you the rec).

Not quite, but close enough. Can you post it? Thanks.

Sure. I use Wellnest. If they’re in your area (you can check on their website) I can email you a code to use on your first cleaning. I used to have an independent cleaning lady too and a service is so much easier. You can schedule online, pay online, and they’re accountable to someone.

Thanks! I'll look them. Appreciate it. (I wouldn't be able to give you my email here, for privacy reasons, so I'll pay full. But thanks anyway.)