First World Problem: Disrespectful Cleaning Woman

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I know, I know....such a 1st world problem, but I am wondering if anyone runs into problems with a rude or disrespectful cleaning lady. I have and wonder if 1) I am too sensitive, 2) my being nice and friendly is mistaken for weakness and somehow inviting it, or 3) it's just typical these days. Two examples (since she was just here):

1.) I walked into the bedroom to check on something (I had given her instructions last time about it and she didn't do it), and she said, "I know, I know. But you're in the way, and you can leave." Then she should made a go-away motion with her hand. (Yes, really!)

2.) I wanted to give her a holiday bonus, which would be double the $120 fee. I wrote out a check for $240, and she told me that she wanted the bonus amount in cash. I said I didn't have $120 lying around, and she told me there is an ATM a few blocks away and I could go get cash - and she'd wait. I told her I didn't want to go out in the rain, but she insisted she wanted cash. So, in order to keep her happy, I grabbed my umbrella and went out.

Am I making too big a deal over these types of things? Is it just stuff one needs to put up with to keep a cleaning lady?

I can't believe you put up with her, especially that ATM thing

She wants cash as a gift, so it's not a paycheck. If it's a gift, no taxes. Get it?

That is completely false. I get a bonus at work, and the amount is included on my w-2 as wages. I certainly don't waltz into my boss' office and demand the bonus in cash so I don't have to pay tax on it.

If your boss asked if you would like a gift of cash for Christmas, would you say no- add it to my W2.

But my boss doesn't ask. He pays me in the manner he chooses. And I appreciate it.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Omg! I would be so annoyed with the 2nd. Use a service. I never get anything but respect from mine (if you’re in Falls Church or Arlington I’ll give you the rec).

Not quite, but close enough. Can you post it? Thanks.

Sure. I use Wellnest. If they’re in your area (you can check on their website) I can email you a code to use on your first cleaning. I used to have an independent cleaning lady too and a service is so much easier. You can schedule online, pay online, and they’re accountable to someone.

Thanks! I'll look them. Appreciate it. (I wouldn't be able to give you my email here, for privacy reasons, so I'll pay full. But thanks anyway.)

Of course! Good luck. If you’re paying for a service you deserve to be happy and stress-free. Apparently the referral code is a link so if you use them try this. It’s a little pricier than an independent cleaner might be - and I’m sure someone has a cheaper rec - but I find the ease more than worth it and they haven’t let me down in 1.5 years. gowellnest.com/jogqb0

OP here, and thanks again. I'll try that link. Thx.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You need to fire her and find your self esteem. It is not your fault that she's disrespectful. It is your fault, however, that you are taking this. You confront her and then fire her, or just summarily fire her, but under no circumstances should you keep her after you tell her she's rude. Your cleaning lady can do a lot of bad things to your stuff and to you. Don't even give her the chance.

Thanks. You are 100% right about the self-esteem issue. The fear is that she IS a good cleaning lady and I might have a hard time finding one as good. That's my dilemma.

That's a dilemma that will be good for you to confront and resolve. Whether she's a competent cleaning lady or not is irrelevant. What's at issue here is her problematic behavior and yours, in response to hers. You need to fire her. Before you hire her replacement, do some therapy-guided work on why you've tolerated her behavior, and how you're going to ensure you don't tolerate this kind of inappropriate, unprofessional behavior in future.

Start your therapy, by the way, by exploring why you felt the need to qualify your subject line with the phrase, "first world problem."

OP knows that she is paying peanuts to a woman who busts her arse all day every day so she can take her tiny paycheck, back to her crappy home and hopefully put food on the table for her kids. That is why she feels weird about asking the woman to act like she is happy while working.

WTH is wrong with you?

Nothing, what's wrong with you Marie Antoinette?

[Anonymous]

And there's the door....see ya would have been my response after the 2nd incident you wrote.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to fire her and find your self esteem. It is not your fault that she's disrespectful. It is your fault, however, that you are taking this. You confront her and then fire her, or just summarily fire her, but under no circumstances should you keep her after you tell her she's rude. Your cleaning lady can do a lot of bad things to your stuff and to you. Don't even give her the chance.

+1

[Anonymous]

Both are disrespectful. No effing way I would let my cleaning lady talk to me like that. She thinks you're a doormat and she's walking all over you. Are you a nag? The first instance (although still rude) sounds you kind of nagged her a bit about whatever the issue was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both are disrespectful. No effing way I would let my cleaning lady talk to me like that. She thinks you're a doormat and she's walking all over you. Are you a nag? The first instance (although still rude) sounds you kind of nagged her a bit about whatever the issue was.

Hhmmmmm....it's possible, but I honestly don't think so. Remember, it was the second time I had asked her to do it. (I had asked the last time and she forgot), so I said something like "Just as a reminder, could you please clean the blah-blah." Truly, if my boss had to ask me a second time to do something, I'd apologize for letting it slip through the cracks.

Anyway, I've decided to try a cleaning service.

[Anonymous]

Fire her, change the locks and grow a spine before hiring the next person. Cleaning ladies and services are plentiful in this area.

[Anonymous]

Do change the locks when you fire her.

[Anonymous]

To the two PPs up above, thanks for the idea about changing the lock. I hasn't thought of that, but it's a must. In fact, I need to change the lock FIRST, then fire her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You pay her $120 to clean your house and you expect her to have a smile on her face and gratitude in her heart. I would resent you too.

OP, your cleaning lady is on DCUM!

[Anonymous]

The first is okay. She wanted you out so she could do her work. The second is demanding. She can cash her own check or don't give her one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You pay her $120 to clean your house and you expect her to have a smile on her face and gratitude in her heart. I would resent you too.

OP, your cleaning lady is on DCUM!

How would YOU know, unless you're the cleaning lady?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You pay her $120 to clean your house and you expect her to have a smile on her face and gratitude in her heart. I would resent you too.

OP, your cleaning lady is on DCUM!

How would YOU know, unless you're the cleaning lady?

I pay $100 every 2 weeks for my 1800 sq ft house in Bethesda. 2 ladies for a little over 2 hours. $120 is not unreasonable depending on the house size.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You pay her $120 to clean your house and you expect her to have a smile on her face and gratitude in her heart. I would resent you too.

OP, your cleaning lady is on DCUM!

How would YOU know, unless you're the cleaning lady?

I pay $100 every 2 weeks for my 1800 sq ft house in Bethesda. 2 ladies for a little over 2 hours. $120 is not unreasonable depending on the house size.

OP here. That seems in line. My $120 is for a 1900 sq ft house, and she's here for about 3.5 hours.