Ask me anything: I am a kept woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are pretty awesome.

You have this entire board in a tizzy about something that may or may not be true. I guess many on this board are thinking there but for the grace of God go I (being the wife that everyone feels is being wronged)

Or some of us find the scenario interesting because we have had no experience with it in real life.

And hopefully never will. My parents raised me with too much self-respect to share a man with another woman.

In my early 20s- the last thing I wanted was a used, loser with a wife and kids.

OP sounds like a prostitute. Sex for $ and gifts.

Please........get off your high horse.

How many women would end up with a financially well-placed guy if he were not so situated? Sure in those instances it is not a formal payment for sex but part of the reason many women go for a guy is because of his job and what he earns.

And I think the same of 'those' women!! "Those women' are the ones that usually settle and then come on and bitch, bitch, bitch. The husbands are usually was less attractive than they are and they are there solely for his wallet and the ability to not work.ever.

Those of us that met our spouses at 25-26...have a different perspective. Yes- my DH was uber attractive, super intelligent, confident and funny as hell..we made the same $ when we met. He now makes 4X me...but I am still working (from home) to this day.

I will always have a source of my own income. I sayin' she's a gold digger...

She has a somewhat formalized pecuniary relationship with her guy. Many, many women go after an affluent professional for the same reason. You may not have done so but it would be naive to think that is not the motivation of many women especially in this town.

And many men choose to *marry* them anyway. Please don't equate married couples with what the Op is doing. It isn't the same thing. At all. Op's boyfriend already has a wife and it ain't her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

she did not get us "all riled up".

46 pages in 28 hours? Oh, I think we're riled up....

Maybe, but it's driven by disbelief rather than what the OP thinks its driven by.

[Anonymous]

OP, if your boyfriend divorced his wife, would you want to become his fiance or future wife?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
She has a somewhat formalized pecuniary relationship with her guy. Many, many women go after an affluent professional for the same reason. You may not have done so but it would be naive to think that is not the motivation of many women especially in this town.

And many men choose to *marry* them anyway. Please don't equate married couples with what the Op is doing. It isn't the same thing. At all. Op's boyfriend already has a wife and it ain't her.

So if the guy who is providing for OP were not married, it would change your opinion of her? Fault the husband by all means but don't blame the OP for doing what millions of women do when they marry a guy because he has money. Not just in the US but pretty much all over the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Usually these affairs are faaaar less glitzy and the other woman gets faaaar less compensation than what the Op is getting. But, ya, they happen. And really this scenario is not that much different than the typical run of the mill affair.

Yep, and the reality is that the "keeper" and the "kept" actually end up having a relationship that is more than just paying for sex and being paid for sex.

Of course, they often wind up having legitimate, even loving feelings towards each other. That absolutely happens and it can look like True Love. But in reality it is nothing more than an escape from reality. And not just for the cheating man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Usually these affairs are faaaar less glitzy and the other woman gets faaaar less compensation than what the Op is getting. But, ya, they happen. And really this scenario is not that much different than the typical run of the mill affair.

Yep, and the reality is that the "keeper" and the "kept" actually end up having a relationship that is more than just paying for sex and being paid for sex.

Of course, they often wind up having legitimate, even loving feelings towards each other. That absolutely happens and it can look like True Love. But in reality it is nothing more than an escape from reality. And not just for the cheating man.

It is fulfilling a need that both parties need to have satisfied. In the case of the woman it is mostly financial. In the case of the guy it starts out as being sexual but if it lasts several years it entails other less carnal needs.

[Anonymous]

It was obvious many pages back when she had to backpedal from her initial claim that he paid for a year's rent upfront because that answer spawned some trickier questions that she couldn't answer.

I stopped believing her back on page 19 when she said that the douchebag's wife has run into her on multiple occasions and "just waved or whatever". What's that supposed to mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
She has a somewhat formalized pecuniary relationship with her guy. Many, many women go after an affluent professional for the same reason. You may not have done so but it would be naive to think that is not the motivation of many women especially in this town.

And many men choose to *marry* them anyway. Please don't equate married couples with what the Op is doing. It isn't the same thing. At all. Op's boyfriend already has a wife and it ain't her.

So if the guy who is providing for OP were not married, it would change your opinion of her? Fault the husband by all means but don't blame the OP for doing what millions of women do when they marry a guy because he has money. Not just in the US but pretty much all over the world.

If Op was just single and just sitting back and letting her rich boyfriend support her, I think that would be unwise. He could dump her tomorrow and where would she be? If Op was married to the guy and they, as a committed couple, decided that it would be best for Op to stay home that would be a team decision on both of their parts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Usually these affairs are faaaar less glitzy and the other woman gets faaaar less compensation than what the Op is getting. But, ya, they happen. And really this scenario is not that much different than the typical run of the mill affair.

Yep, and the reality is that the "keeper" and the "kept" actually end up having a relationship that is more than just paying for sex and being paid for sex.

Of course, they often wind up having legitimate, even loving feelings towards each other. That absolutely happens and it can look like True Love. But in reality it is nothing more than an escape from reality. And not just for the cheating man.

It is fulfilling a need that both parties need to have satisfied. In the case of the woman it is mostly financial. In the case of the guy it starts out as being sexual but if it lasts several years it entails other less carnal needs.

And when it ends, he goes back to his wife/kids/job/home/bank account/pension. And she is left with fuzzy warm memories and dreams of what could have been...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

she did not get us "all riled up".

46 pages in 28 hours? Oh, I think we're riled up....

Maybe, but it's driven by disbelief rather than what the OP thinks its driven by.

Disbelief? No, fear.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
She has a somewhat formalized pecuniary relationship with her guy. Many, many women go after an affluent professional for the same reason. You may not have done so but it would be naive to think that is not the motivation of many women especially in this town.

And many men choose to *marry* them anyway. Please don't equate married couples with what the Op is doing. It isn't the same thing. At all. Op's boyfriend already has a wife and it ain't her.

So if the guy who is providing for OP were not married, it would change your opinion of her? Fault the husband by all means but don't blame the OP for doing what millions of women do when they marry a guy because he has money. Not just in the US but pretty much all over the world.

If Op was just single and just sitting back and letting her rich boyfriend support her, I think that would be unwise. He could dump her tomorrow and where would she be? If Op was married to the guy and they, as a committed couple, decided that it would be best for Op to stay home that would be a team decision on both of their parts.

And if the wife decided that she did not want to work because she would rather stay at home although she has no children because her husband can provide for the sort of lifestyle she expects that would make her a ......... by your definition?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you man died in a car accident today, would you go to the funeral?

I don't know. I wouldn't want to do anything to compound his wife's grief. I'd have to think hard about that.

What do you mean "compound his wife's grief"? Would you try to stake a claim to his assets? Show up to his funeral? Ask her for your rent money?

If he died, it would just be...over. Done. There really would be nothing left for you. You do get that, right?

Huh? Of course I wouldn't stake a claim to his assets. I don't know why you'd even think that? Someone asked if I would go to the funeral and I just said I'm not sure.

The mourners at his funeral would be her circle of friends/family/support not your's. You do understand that, don't you?

Not necessarily. A funeral is for saying goodbye to someone you care about, too. The deceased has old and new friends, colleagues, and family that may wish to attend to acknowledge his passing. That's why the obituary is published in the paper.

Generally the family is publishing the obituary in the newspaper to inform old *friends*, *colleagues*, *neighbors*, *church members* and the like that the death has happened. I think it is pretty obvious that illicit mistresses are not included in the invite....and that the family is not going out of their way to notify such persons of the death.

That does not mean that mistresses do not have a right to their grief. It is just that theirs is a more private grief, just like the relationship that they had with the decedent was private not public.

I have attended many funerals. Frankly, people often do not ask someone there what their relation to the deceased is. Anyone who happens upon the obituary notice could attend, and unless they appeared homeless or caused a disruption, people let them be (unless it involved a famous person).

[Anonymous]

This sounds like an unwise way to live your life. But, whatever.

[Anonymous]

I think the worry is that Op thinks she's got herself a real good gig. But she is not looking at what this gig could be costing her long term.

She thinks she's savvy but really she's about as gullible, naive as they get.

[Anonymous]

"If Op was just single and just sitting back and letting her rich boyfriend support her, I think that would be unwise. He could dump her tomorrow and where would she be? If Op was married to the guy and they, as a committed couple, decided that it would be best for Op to stay home that would be a team decision on both of their parts."

Sounds like this team decision is exactly the arrangement the guy has with his wife.

He is also supporting his mistress. Win - win!