What's it like to be married to someone with a big job?

[Anonymous]

Just curious for some stories. What's it like to be married to someone with large amounts of political or financial power? CEOs of large companies, senators, etc. Do they work all the time? Does the other spouse end up as second fiddle? Are the kids happy? Any particularly unexpected pros or cons?

[Anonymous]

My grandfather had an extremely big job. His wife and kids didn't see him for very long periods of time, and his kids were mostly raised by nannies, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My grandfather had an extremely big job. His wife and kids didn't see him for very long periods of time, and his kids were mostly raised by nannies, etc.

What did he do?

[Anonymous]

My sister is married to a CEO of a large hospital system. (Top 3 system in the country.) Whats cool about it is they make mega bucks but actually live and work in a very low cost of living. Previous jobs had been in bigger markets thus more expensive cost of living. She is use to running her own show at home and has of lately asked for him to be home 2 nights a week for dinner. He has edited that to 8 times a month and usually makes it work. Its hard but not impossible. He will likely retire within 4 years so thats on the horizon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister is married to a CEO of a large hospital system. (Top 3 system in the country.) Whats cool about it is they make mega bucks but actually live and work in a very low cost of living. Previous jobs had been in bigger markets thus more expensive cost of living. She is use to running her own show at home and has of lately asked for him to be home 2 nights a week for dinner. He has edited that to 8 times a month and usually makes it work. Its hard but not impossible. He will likely retire within 4 years so thats on the horizon.

Very cool! Does she work? How do they balance it all??

[Anonymous]

My DH was CEO of two well know public companies. But away from the office he never carried himself like a big swinging d---. He worked hard but when he was home he was a great husband and dad. He never desired to socialize with other CEOs or be in that network and outside his own company he kept a low profile because he wanted his free time to be spent with me and our children. I do believe he is pretty unique in that regard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just curious for some stories. What's it like to be married to someone with large amounts of political or financial power? CEOs of large companies, senators, etc. Do they work all the time? Does the other spouse end up as second fiddle? Are the kids happy? Any particularly unexpected pros or cons?

My mom's husband is the CEO of a big energy company. Yes, he does work a lot and travels a good amount, but they have an incredible life. They both travel together all over the planet. For what a big job he has they are ALWAYS somewhere incredible and I'm positive he unplugs because they go to really remote places sometimes. When he is not traveling for work, he is generally working out of his home office. His corporate HQ is a 2hr plane ride away from their home, so sometimes he will fly out on a Monday morning and fly back on a Thursday afternoon. They have much more flexibility and time than do "normal" working people.

[Anonymous]

My DW has a big job. DD6 is at school so here I am killing time until I pick her up. Over the course of the past 18 months I seem to be treated more as the assistant to the house then a husband. The one day a week she is home for a family dinner at the table she is on the phone the entire time. Movie night is spent the entire time on the laptop. DD falls asleep every night is my arms crying for her mother. I get screamed at for not telling her the phone is ringing when she is in the shower.
The biggest thing is even when she is physically at home it seems as if she is completely checked out and all her thoughts and energy are on work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DW has a big job. DD6 is at school so here I am killing time until I pick her up. Over the course of the past 18 months I seem to be treated more as the assistant to the house then a husband. The one day a week she is home for a family dinner at the table she is on the phone the entire time. Movie night is spent the entire time on the laptop. DD falls asleep every night is my arms crying for her mother. I get screamed at for not telling her the phone is ringing when she is in the shower.
The biggest thing is even when she is physically at home it seems as if she is completely checked out and all her thoughts and energy are on work.

... this sounds miserable. What exactly does DW do that requires her to be on he phone all the time?!??

[Anonymous]

A parent of my child's friend is a U.S. representative. The representative and spouse leave their kid alone with a nanny for a week at a time. It's incredibly sad. The poor kid acts out all the time, probably to seek attention from the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A parent of my child's friend is a U.S. representative. The representative and spouse leave their kid alone with a nanny for a week at a time. It's incredibly sad. The poor kid acts out all the time, probably to seek attention from the parents.

Why does the spouse also need to travel?

[Anonymous]

My boss is married to one. He has publicly cheated, and she often makes offhand comments about how bad their marriage is. TONS of money, but unhappy together.

I really do believe it's hard to have a job like this and be a good spouse. The personality traits required for each just don't mesh.

[Anonymous]

My dad had a big job although he is retired now. He was an Ambassasor and a high ranking diplomat. We had a pretty spectacular life with you credible experiences. My dad is an outstanding larger than life man who clearly stands out every time he’s in the room within people. However his long hours and demanding job was very hard on his marriage to my mother. He was never home, missed special occasions frequently and was always incredibly stressed out. He never had any mental energy to devote to his personal life and my mother wound up overwhelmed and feeling under appreciated.

I married the complete opposite, shy family oriented man. All the glamor and glitz, it’s not all it’s crackedbup to be.

[Anonymous]

My step-FIL was a CFO for a major oil company. Divorced his first wife and married my MIL. I'm sure the ex would have a lot to say about him.

With MIL, they traveled on corporate jets, the company owned a resort somewhere in NY state where all the execs & wives could vacation for free. They went everywhere the company has business: Norway, Japan, Brazil. He worked long hours and had a hard time adjusting to retirement since he really enjoyed bossing people around and she wasn't having it.

[Anonymous]

I met a CEO who was obsessive about letting everyone know he went to HBS and proud that he had 3 kids by 2 women. That's the way to do it so you don't have to do any childcare!