What's it like to be married to someone with a big job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Recently met a man who explained his situation as " I live in the city because I work a lot . . . kids live in the country with my their mom." I didn't ask questions. Very well know in his field. I suspect the mom doesn't ask questions either.

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in other words, they have an arrangement, not a loving marriage

Very common in these situations.

How do you know it's very common? Do you know many personally...?

I do. Also, this thread...

Well, dish! We want to hear the stories.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A good friend is married to the CFO of a huge international company, he took this job within the last year. They already were living in DMV so my friend and the kids stayed here and they bought a condo in the other city where the job is based and he flies out Monday to Thursday/ Friday. She no longer works, stays at home with the kids. They live in a huge $4 million house, go on super nice vacations, have nice cars, kids in private, etc. their life looks super luxurious,

However, the kids are struggling with the father being gone constantly, and my friend and her husband are fighting, even in public, on the weekends when they are together, over anything and nothing. He is basically on call 24/7. He has a driver wherever he is because he needs to be able to answer emails or speak on the phone at any time. He is glued to his iPhone. He misses everything important at school because he’s is another state all week long. My friend is very devoted to the kids and is a nice person and good mom but she’s losing it. All the money in the world isn’t worth this arrangement, it isn’t sustainable. I wouldn’t want to trade places.

Im just an lowly IT pro....on call 7x24....anywhere. When i go overseas on vacation, my company gives me a wireless hot spot with a global data plan....

[Anonymous]

My DH is high up in one of the alphabet soup government agencies. He's made decisions that have greatly affected foreign policy, and is faced with life-or-death decisions daily. His brother is a VP of a very large company (largest in the field).

Both are super stressed and constantly dream about stepping down to an easier, more fun job. But they are also afraid of losing the money and prestige.

The attention DH's job gets us can be fun, but 99%of the time people completely ignore me when they find out what he does since they just want to talk with him about his job. There's also a lot of comparison between us, and I think people are confused why he is with me since I work a very pink-collar job. There's been a lot of gossip that I'm just using him, which isn't true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH is high up in one of the alphabet soup government agencies. He's made decisions that have greatly affected foreign policy, and is faced with life-or-death decisions daily. His brother is a VP of a very large company (largest in the field).

Both are super stressed and constantly dream about stepping down to an easier, more fun job. But they are also afraid of losing the money and prestige.

The attention DH's job gets us can be fun, but 99%of the time people completely ignore me when they find out what he does since they just want to talk with him about his job. There's also a lot of comparison between us, and I think people are confused why he is with me since I work a very pink-collar job. There's been a lot of gossip that I'm just using him, which isn't true.

If your husband really has a job like that, he would likely get a dramatic pay INCREASE when he left. People like that usually command high consulting fees and work when they want once they get out. Your husband is likely either not in the kind of job you’re claiming, or he’s pulled the wool over your eyes and downplayed what he could make if he left, because he wants to stay in the job for the prestige.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH is high up in one of the alphabet soup government agencies. He's made decisions that have greatly affected foreign policy, and is faced with life-or-death decisions daily. His brother is a VP of a very large company (largest in the field).

Both are super stressed and constantly dream about stepping down to an easier, more fun job. But they are also afraid of losing the money and prestige.

The attention DH's job gets us can be fun, but 99%of the time people completely ignore me when they find out what he does since they just want to talk with him about his job. There's also a lot of comparison between us, and I think people are confused why he is with me since I work a very pink-collar job. There's been a lot of gossip that I'm just using him, which isn't true.

If your husband really has a job like that, he would likely get a dramatic pay INCREASE when he left. People like that usually command high consulting fees and work when they want once they get out. Your husband is likely either not in the kind of job you’re claiming, or he’s pulled the wool over your eyes and downplayed what he could make if he left, because he wants to stay in the job for the prestige.

I think the poster you are quoting meant money for the VP brother in law and prestige for the husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Recently met a man who explained his situation as " I live in the city because I work a lot . . . kids live in the country with my their mom." I didn't ask questions. Very well know in his field. I suspect the mom doesn't ask questions either.

\

in other words, they have an arrangement, not a loving marriage

Very common in these situations.

How do you know it's very common? Do you know many personally...?

I do. Also, this thread...

I know an executive who had two families, one in a foreign country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Recently met a man who explained his situation as " I live in the city because I work a lot . . . kids live in the country with my their mom." I didn't ask questions. Very well know in his field. I suspect the mom doesn't ask questions either.

\

in other words, they have an arrangement, not a loving marriage

Very common in these situations.

How do you know it's very common? Do you know many personally...?

I do. Also, this thread...

I know an executive who had two families, one in a foreign country.

How did you find out?!?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Recently met a man who explained his situation as " I live in the city because I work a lot . . . kids live in the country with my their mom." I didn't ask questions. Very well know in his field. I suspect the mom doesn't ask questions either.

\

in other words, they have an arrangement, not a loving marriage

Very common in these situations.

How do you know it's very common? Do you know many personally...?

I do. Also, this thread...

I know an executive who had two families, one in a foreign country.

How did you find out?!?!

He's good friends with my uncle (also a C-level exec), and my uncle often traveled with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Recently met a man who explained his situation as " I live in the city because I work a lot . . . kids live in the country with my their mom." I didn't ask questions. Very well know in his field. I suspect the mom doesn't ask questions either.

\

in other words, they have an arrangement, not a loving marriage

Very common in these situations.

How do you know it's very common? Do you know many personally...?

I do. Also, this thread...

I know an executive who had two families, one in a foreign country.

How did you find out?!?!

He's good friends with my uncle (also a C-level exec), and my uncle often traveled with him.

I have so many questions about this. Did the wives know? Did they care? How is it possible to make this work logistically without anyone finding out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Recently met a man who explained his situation as " I live in the city because I work a lot . . . kids live in the country with my their mom." I didn't ask questions. Very well know in his field. I suspect the mom doesn't ask questions either.

\

in other words, they have an arrangement, not a loving marriage

Very common in these situations.

How do you know it's very common? Do you know many personally...?

I do. Also, this thread...

I know an executive who had two families, one in a foreign country.

How did you find out?!?!

He's good friends with my uncle (also a C-level exec), and my uncle often traveled with him.

I have so many questions about this. Did the wives know? Did they care? How is it possible to make this work logistically without anyone finding out?

No--the wives did not know. Note they were in VERY different countries with different languages and only the husband was bilingual. He traveled a lot for work due to his job.

[Anonymous]

I find it to be lonely. My spouse misses almost all school events, sports practices, games and teacher conferences. I end up resentful because despite frequent promises to be home *early* (7pm) at least once week, the kids and I rarely see DH before 8/9pm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH is high up in one of the alphabet soup government agencies. He's made decisions that have greatly affected foreign policy, and is faced with life-or-death decisions daily. His brother is a VP of a very large company (largest in the field).

Both are super stressed and constantly dream about stepping down to an easier, more fun job. But they are also afraid of losing the money and prestige.

The attention DH's job gets us can be fun, but 99%of the time people completely ignore me when they find out what he does since they just want to talk with him about his job. There's also a lot of comparison between us, and I think people are confused why he is with me since I work a very pink-collar job. There's been a lot of gossip that I'm just using him, which isn't true.

If your husband really has a job like that, he would likely get a dramatic pay INCREASE when he left. People like that usually command high consulting fees and work when they want once they get out. Your husband is likely either not in the kind of job you’re claiming, or he’s pulled the wool over your eyes and downplayed what he could make if he left, because he wants to stay in the job for the prestige.

PP. He's waiting until he has a decent pension before going into the private sector, which is what most people at his agency do. I know exactly what his job is, and he has no reason to lie about salary because I don't care what his job is or how much he makes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A parent of my child's friend is a U.S. representative. The representative and spouse leave their kid alone with a nanny for a week at a time. It's incredibly sad. The poor kid acts out all the time, probably to seek attention from the parents.

Why does the spouse also need to travel?

So he doesn’t stray. Smart DW. Men at that level have earned plenty of opportunities to get some on the side. You don’t want to get dumped just before he hits K Street. Instead, you want to divorce and get half AFTER he’s cashed in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Recently met a man who explained his situation as " I live in the city because I work a lot . . . kids live in the country with my their mom." I didn't ask questions. Very well know in his field. I suspect the mom doesn't ask questions either.

Was it Sean Hannity? lol

[Anonymous]

Gold diggers. Both the men and women.