DC Urban Moms Farce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, no, b/c I don't understand how to Google, and my DC is still sleeping. When the nanny wakes DC, feeds DC, and changes DC, I'll ask DC to Google New Yorker for me.

Still sleeping at this hour? How is DC going to get into the right schools by sleeping the morning away?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, no, b/c I don't understand how to Google, and my DC is still sleeping. When the nanny wakes DC, feeds DC, and changes DC, I'll ask DC to Google New Yorker for me.

Still sleeping at this hour? How is DC going to get into the right schools by sleeping the morning away?

The AD at one of the Big 3 is my sister-in-law.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:"No call CPS because that baby was fed a bottle, and not the breast! "

Carm, down. The mother works crazy hours but she pumps 24/7 and , frankly with all the double and triple legacies the kid has, the misshapen head is under the radar. Have you taken a good look at Caroline Kennedy? Yikes![/quote]

You must be a Republican.

No, but I am a New Yorker.

Have you seen the cover?

I don't know if I am looking at the right cover. I don't get it. I should dig through my pile of mail...

I don't really get it either but it is TOO FUNNY!!!

I know, I nearly died laughing. Can I be the president of your fan club?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, no, b/c I don't understand how to Google, and my DC is still sleeping. When the nanny wakes DC, feeds DC, and changes DC, I'll ask DC to Google New Yorker for me.

Still sleeping at this hour? How is DC going to get into the right schools by sleeping the morning away?

The AD at one of the Big 3 is my sister-in-law.

Yeah, but she is also a government freeloader. This pisses me off!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Does anyone have the list of top 100 preschools, in terms of their success rate in future acceptances to Harvard, Princeton or Yale?

A LIST like that can be found. Google it.

How do I google something?

Your child better start practicing "Would you like fries with that?".

My child is only one but very computer literate. His nanny is also a computer science professor. I on the other hand am unable to look up basic information or perform a basic search on the Internet. So again, how do I google? I do not want to bother DS to ask, he is in with his hapkido instruction at the moment.

Shouldn't he be in bed?

He prefers a rigorous schedule full of pre-Yale activities to sleep. Who has time to sleep when there are colleges to get into?

If your nanny isn't trilingual, your kid is toast. Do you let the nanny help herself to food? You don't want to be ripped off!

[Anonymous]

PP, he rotates four nannies. Each teach him a world language and cultural immersion. Now, don't confuse his four nannies with his actual language therapy courses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, he rotates four nannies. Each teach him a world language and cultural immersion. Now, don't confuse his four nannies with his actual language therapy courses. [/q

Uuum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He prefers a rigorous schedule full of pre-Yale activities to sleep. Who has time to sleep when there are colleges to get into?

Oh, well, Yale... If you can't set your standards higher than that, you should never have had kids. I feel sorry for your children.

[Anonymous]

My 2 year old 30k window treatments are really starting to bore me. They are so over. Time for a makeover. What should I do? Call the decorator? Give my husband a B.J. so he will spring for an upgrade? Please help me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 2 year old 30k window treatments are really starting to bore me. They are so over. Time for a makeover. What should I do? Call the decorator? Give my husband a B.J. so he will spring for an upgrade? Please help me.

Give the decorator a BJ.

[Anonymous]

My boss doesn't let me drink the organic/drugfree/fatfree/crapfree milk she puts on the list of groceries she wants me to pick up for her entire family.

should I buy my own and spit in the jug she has for the family?
should I drink the watery/nonorganic/fullofcrap milk she offered to buy for me?

please help!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boss doesn't let me drink the organic/drugfree/fatfree/crapfree milk she puts on the list of groceries she wants me to pick up for her entire family.

should I buy my own and spit in the jug she has for the family?
should I drink the watery/nonorganic/fullofcrap milk she offered to buy for me?

please help!

Why would you want to drink milk at work? It will only make it that much harder to wait until you get home to go to the bathroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boss doesn't let me drink the organic/drugfree/fatfree/crapfree milk she puts on the list of groceries she wants me to pick up for her entire family.

should I buy my own and spit in the jug she has for the family?
should I drink the watery/nonorganic/fullofcrap milk she offered to buy for me?

please help!

Why would you want to drink milk at work? It will only make it that much harder to wait until you get home to go to the bathroom.

My boss was more than willing to pay me extra so that I could buy Depends to use during my working hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boss doesn't let me drink the organic/drugfree/fatfree/crapfree milk she puts on the list of groceries she wants me to pick up for her entire family.

should I buy my own and spit in the jug she has for the family?
should I drink the watery/nonorganic/fullofcrap milk she offered to buy for me?

please help!

Why would you want to drink milk at work? It will only make it that much harder to wait until you get home to go to the bathroom.

My boss was more than willing to pay me extra so that I could buy Depends to use during my working hours.

So would I. Who wants nanny butt on their toilets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boss doesn't let me drink the organic/drugfree/fatfree/crapfree milk she puts on the list of groceries she wants me to pick up for her entire family.

should I buy my own and spit in the jug she has for the family?
should I drink the watery/nonorganic/fullofcrap milk she offered to buy for me?

please help!

Why would you want to drink milk at work? It will only make it that much harder to wait until you get home to go to the bathroom.

My boss was more than willing to pay me extra so that I could buy Depends to use during my working hours.

You'll have to pay taxes on that "extra" money for Depends. DUH!