Sons bday conflicts with husbands football- I’m stuck in middle

[Anonymous]

Son’s bday is 3 weeks out-!so hard to find time/ date that works for all. Sent text to half invites who play soccer to see if weekend was free- and they all have big tournament in neighboring state bday weekend So son said this weekend/ but not enough time to plan.
So look king at week after that- 14th. But that is husbands college’s team football game.
I feel like he should miss the game- he’s pissed I didn’t run it by him. But as I told him, time is running out and it’s impossibke to find a weekend when all the kids are free.
What should i do? I can’t please everyone. The Friday’s don’t work because of kids schedules at different schools and my returning from two biz trips I can’t change as year end customer events.

[Anonymous]

So plan further out. The party doesn't need to be near the actual birth date, OP

[Anonymous]

late Sunday afternoons are often a good time for birthday
Parties-college football and soccer being on Saturdays usually

[Anonymous]

So your husband is the kicker for the university football team?

Didn't think so.

Of course his kid's birthday party trumps him sitting around on his ass drinking beer and watching football.

That is what DVRs are for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
So plan further out. The party doesn't need to be near the actual birth date, OP

+1. But it took me a while, too, to realize that you don’t have to do the birthday party so close to the actual birthday. So much less stressful now!

[Anonymous]

OP here- son is turning 13 (teenager) so kind of big bday to him. It’s a sleepover so Sunday’s won’t work. Also grandma was flying in- although won’t be inend of world if she misses the party. Husbands college is in next state and he goes to game to watchIt’s their homecoming. He hasn’t purchased tickets yet.
So moving it to last oct weekend or November has some issues too. Plus the other half of invites, including son, play travel b-ball which starts next weeek. So games could start shortly after which will be another challenge for free saturdays.
I told husband to go to game— grandmas here to help me. He can go and watch game- leave at halftime and be back for sleepver part. Will miss early Saturday bday stuff but home in time for cake and sleepover..
It’s a no win as he’s frustrated, son is upset we are arguing over date, and I’m stressed because I need to get invites out and bought the bubble soccer place.

[Anonymous]

You're making a mountain out of a molehill, OP. The real priorities are:
1. When his best friends are available, and,
2. On a Saturday.

No one cares about the rest! Turning 13 isn't that big of a deal, except to the recipient. A grandmother at a boys' sleepover??? No. One parent can easily leave and come back hours later, it only takes one adult presence in the house. The boys will not thank you for hovering!

[Anonymous]

OP- celebrate with grandma, have it another weekend. Would grandma really want to be there for a 13 year old boy's sleepover party?

[Anonymous]

I'd find three weekends that work, including this one. So two further out. Then tell your DH those are the weekends and he needs to sit down with DS and figure it out.

That way he has to tell DS to his face he can't have it this weekend because he needs to go watch football.

Your DH is acting like the 12 year old here.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why both parents have to be there for a 13 yr old sleepover.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why both parents have to be there for a 13 yr old sleepover.

I don't either. 13 is a little old for the dad to need to be there for cake cutting. Let him enjoy his homecoming game! You and grandma could even FaceTime with him during the cake cutting if that's what it takes.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why, if you are old enough to have fathered a 13 year old, you can't be mature enough to deal with missing your alma mater's homecoming for a year.

[Anonymous]

The husband is being a baby.

[Anonymous]

Soooo DHs response is "Sorry kid, I can't make it to your party bc I have to watch tv?!"

Seriously, where do you find these men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why, if you are old enough to have fathered a 13 year old, you can't be mature enough to deal with missing your alma mater's homecoming for a year.

I feel just the opposite. I don't think birthdays are a national holiday and I don't think as parents we have to give up everything g for our kids.

This is a situation where you can make everything work. Go out to dinner, do cake and presents on the birthday then pick a weekend for the party. No real need for both parents to be there but if that's what you want then find a mutually agreeable date. Mom hasn't even checked dates yet - just says it might not work because of sports schedule so Dad should do a date she wants. Another alternative is skip the sleepover and do it another time to give you more flexibility.