Sons bday conflicts with husbands football- I’m stuck in middle

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why both parents have to be there for a 13 yr old sleepover.

I don't either. 13 is a little old for the dad to need to be there for cake cutting. Let him enjoy his homecoming game! You and grandma could even FaceTime with him during the cake cutting if that's what it takes.

No no no no no no. Do not enable your husband's petulance/selfishness. If a woman had an important (to her) event that coincided with her kids birthday, society would be willing to burn her at the stake.

Nonsense. If mom had a planned girls' getaway and dad tried to schedule the party on the same date, I'd be upset on her behalf and tell her to go, too. Have a private family celebration on a different date. This isn't a little kid - it's a teenager. It's all about his friends.

On the contrary, why would you plan a trip away the week your kid has a birthday? Some teenagers so want to spend time with their parents.

Read OP's original post again. Bday in three weeks. Party isn't the same week. They can have the party one week and the family celebration on the actual birthday. Easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have lost a year of my life reading about birthday parties on this forum.

Birthdays are a big deal. It's one more year you got to have with your kid. Not everyone gets that.

Did your child die? My first child did. I think DH should go on his prescheduled, not birthday trip. And OP should not be so damn inflexible (I decide the party and you have to cancel lonngstanding plans to be there!). It is not at all related to whether I wish my child was alive. Just STFU.

[Anonymous]

PS: I am the mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have lost a year of my life reading about birthday parties on this forum.

Birthdays are a big deal. It's one more year you got to have with your kid. Not everyone gets that.

Did your child die? My first child did. I think DH should go on his prescheduled, not birthday trip. And OP should not be so damn inflexible (I decide the party and you have to cancel lonngstanding plans to be there!). It is not at all related to whether I wish my child was alive. Just STFU.

Yes my child did die. My only child. I hope your day improves and you aren't so inclined to be nasty to someone you don't know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your husband IN college and ON the football team? If not, I fail to understand the problem. How could watching sportsball be more important to him than his son? His priorities are pathetic.

Why does he have to choose? Just pick a different day for the party. I don't get this AT ALL. Why does the soccer team's availability/preferences matter but not the husband's?

Because you know in DCUM Land the children are supposed to be the center of the parents' universe and all the wives are man-haters behind the scenes. And then the women wonder why their marriages are falling apart.

I bet you wonder why your kids don't speak to you.

I bet you wonder why your husband doesn't speak to you.

Nope. We talk We're happy. It's a beautiful thing. I'm sorry you chose to marry a child who didn't want to be a father.

That’s quite a leap. You really need a reality check and to get a grip. (Not PP. Also not a man)

So you're the loser dad and husband that has to go to college homecoming annually? Pathetic. The 20 something your old girls are interested in you.

[Anonymous]

I think your DH should go. That way you can handle the sleepover, which will be easy, but make it seem like you have made amazing sacrifices. That way he will feel grateful to you and you can milk it

[Anonymous]

Wow - can't believe there is this kind of drama for a darn non-milestone birthday. Your husband had this game scheduled for a while. Don't make him cancel. Do a family celebration around your son's actual birthday and plan the friend party when it works - totally fine for it to be a few weeks later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- son is turning 13 (teenager) so kind of big bday to him. It’s a sleepover so Sunday’s won’t work. Also grandma was flying in- although won’t be inend of world if she misses the party. Husbands college is in next state and he goes to game to watchIt’s their homecoming. He hasn’t purchased tickets yet.
So moving it to last oct weekend or November has some issues too. Plus the other half of invites, including son, play travel b-ball which starts next weeek. So games could start shortly after which will be another challenge for free saturdays.
I told husband to go to game— grandmas here to help me. He can go and watch game- leave at halftime and be back for sleepver part. Will miss early Saturday bday stuff but home in time for cake and sleepover..
It’s a no win as he’s frustrated, son is upset we are arguing over date, and I’m stressed because I need to get invites out and bought the bubble soccer place.

Did ny of y'all bother to read OP's posts are just make up what you like?

DH hasn't even bought tickets so much for it being this thoroughly planned out trip.

DH is just being a manbaby and pouting.

[Anonymous]

Nov has 2 student holidays - election day and the day prior. Consider a Sunday sleepover or the like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow - can't believe there is this kind of drama for a darn non-milestone birthday. Your husband had this game scheduled for a while. Don't make him cancel. Do a family celebration around your son's actual birthday and plan the friend party when it works - totally fine for it to be a few weeks later.

Yeah! Screw him 13 doesn't matter. Homecoming with the guys is more important it's a once a year trip. I bet her DH doesn't get any time with the guys between working and doing stuff for the id. Default parents deserve a break!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- son is turning 13 (teenager) so kind of big bday to him. It’s a sleepover so Sunday’s won’t work. Also grandma was flying in- although won’t be inend of world if she misses the party. Husbands college is in next state and he goes to game to watchIt’s their homecoming. He hasn’t purchased tickets yet.
So moving it to last oct weekend or November has some issues too. Plus the other half of invites, including son, play travel b-ball which starts next weeek. So games could start shortly after which will be another challenge for free saturdays.
I told husband to go to game— grandmas here to help me. He can go and watch game- leave at halftime and be back for sleepver part. Will miss early Saturday bday stuff but home in time for cake and sleepover..
It’s a no win as he’s frustrated, son is upset we are arguing over date, and I’m stressed because I need to get invites out and bought the bubble soccer place.

Did ny of y'all bother to read OP's posts are just make up what you like?

DH hasn't even bought tickets so much for it being this thoroughly planned out trip.

DH is just being a manbaby and pouting.

Did you even read the thread? Have you ever actually attended a college game? Tickets are always available and MUCH MUCH cheaper if bought at the game. You need a life. I’m sorry that you apparently have a man baby at home yourself that has made you jaded and bitter about men in general.

—a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have lost a year of my life reading about birthday parties on this forum.

Birthdays are a big deal. It's one more year you got to have with your kid. Not everyone gets that.

Did your child die? My first child did. I think DH should go on his prescheduled, not birthday trip. And OP should not be so damn inflexible (I decide the party and you have to cancel lonngstanding plans to be there!). It is not at all related to whether I wish my child was alive. Just STFU.

Yes my child did die. My only child. I hope your day improves and you aren't so inclined to be nasty to someone you don't know.

Sorry for your loss but it's completely irrelevant. Birthdays happen regardless of the party and this proposed party isn't even the same week as the actual birthday.

[Anonymous]

This is ridiculous! My husband travels a ton and I would just plan a party for when was best for my son and the majority of kids. Grandma will not be wanted at the sleepover and in fact may stress your son out as he will feel guilty not spending time with her. Take the boys to the soccer place and sounds like your husband will be home later. Get a teen helper if you really think you need it. I’ve done most parties and sleepovers on my own it’s not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- son is turning 13 (teenager) so kind of big bday to him. It’s a sleepover so Sunday’s won’t work. Also grandma was flying in- although won’t be inend of world if she misses the party. Husbands college is in next state and he goes to game to watchIt’s their homecoming. He hasn’t purchased tickets yet.
So moving it to last oct weekend or November has some issues too. Plus the other half of invites, including son, play travel b-ball which starts next weeek. So games could start shortly after which will be another challenge for free saturdays.
I told husband to go to game— grandmas here to help me. He can go and watch game- leave at halftime and be back for sleepver part. Will miss early Saturday bday stuff but home in time for cake and sleepover..
It’s a no win as he’s frustrated, son is upset we are arguing over date, and I’m stressed because I need to get invites out and bought the bubble soccer place.

Did ny of y'all bother to read OP's posts are just make up what you like?

DH hasn't even bought tickets so much for it being this thoroughly planned out trip.

DH is just being a manbaby and pouting.

Did you even read the thread? Have you ever actually attended a college game? Tickets are always available and MUCH MUCH cheaper if bought at the game. You need a life. I’m sorry that you apparently have a man baby at home yourself that has made you jaded and bitter about men in general.

—a woman.

Aw sweetie I bet you think you're super special because you're aoman that watches footbal. I bet you think you're the best wife ever because you hubs never has to miss a game. Well her'es the point since it sailed right past you pick me brain: He hasn't put any money into it this year, so all the hysteerics about this being a big trip that he's invested in are meaningless. If he wanted to skip it this year he could.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Son’s bday is 3 weeks out-!so hard to find time/ date that works for all. Sent text to half invites who play soccer to see if weekend was free- and they all have big tournament in neighboring state bday weekend So son said this weekend/ but not enough time to plan.
So look king at week after that- 14th. But that is husbands college’s team football game.
I feel like he should miss the game- he’s pissed I didn’t run it by him. But as I told him, time is running out and it’s impossibke to find a weekend when all the kids are free.
What should i do? I can’t please everyone. The Friday’s don’t work because of kids schedules at different schools and my returning from two biz trips I can’t change as year end customer events.

Why are you in the middle?
Your son has a list of people he wants at the party. You pick the date the majority of people can come. Your DH doesn't get special preference.
If that means your DH decides to go to the game instead so be it. If your son wanted his dad at his party and dad doesn't show that's their issue and your husband needs to work it out with your son not you.
Done.