Sons bday conflicts with husbands football- I’m stuck in middle

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does your husband have to be at a 13 year old's birthday party? My son turned 10 this year, and barely spoke to either DH or I at this party with his friends.

Exactly.

My thought as well. Such a weird thread. DH goes to the game. You stay home and do the party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why, if you are old enough to have fathered a 13 year old, you can't be mature enough to deal with missing your alma mater's homecoming for a year.

I feel just the opposite. I don't think birthdays are a national holiday and I don't think as parents we have to give up everything g for our kids.

This is a situation where you can make everything work. Go out to dinner, do cake and presents on the birthday then pick a weekend for the party. No real need for both parents to be there but if that's what you want then find a mutually agreeable date. Mom hasn't even checked dates yet - just says it might not work because of sports schedule so Dad should do a date she wants. Another alternative is skip the sleepover and do it another time to give you more flexibility.

I agree.

If Dad has been making plans with his friends or whoever, it’s not fair to now pick an arbitrary date and tell him he can’t go. How would you feel if you had a cool girls’ weekend planned (probably your first fun weekend away in awhile) and your husband decided that an activity with your kid that he JUST decided on was the date and that you couldn’t go? Be reasonable. You don’t need him to be home. Otherwise, pick a new date. It’s not fair at all to your husband to make him skip a trip hat he was looking forward to and planned for awhile just because you said so, essentially. And for the record I went o my own school’s game seven states away last year and didn’t get tickets until I arrived because they’re much cheaper and you can always find some.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why, if you are old enough to have fathered a 13 year old, you can't be mature enough to deal with missing your alma mater's homecoming for a year.

I feel just the opposite. I don't think birthdays are a national holiday and I don't think as parents we have to give up everything g for our kids.

This is a situation where you can make everything work. Go out to dinner, do cake and presents on the birthday then pick a weekend for the party. No real need for both parents to be there but if that's what you want then find a mutually agreeable date. Mom hasn't even checked dates yet - just says it might not work because of sports schedule so Dad should do a date she wants. Another alternative is skip the sleepover and do it another time to give you more flexibility.

I hear you. But I think if your 13 year old is upset (which OP has said), Dad needs to get over it and skip Homecoming this year. If it were Dad's reunion or something else that also occurs infrequently, is feel differently. But OP said that Dad hadn't even bought tickets yet - so it can't be that high a priority.

Wrong. As I just stated in the post above, I don’t buy tickets in advance for college football games (I’ve gone to my own school’s, a large SEC school). When you buy tickets in advance they’re pretty expensive-sometimes close to or over $100. If you wait, you can ALWAYS find people selling them the day of he game, usually for half of that price or even less if you get lucky. If this is the husband’s plan, he’s actually being financially prudent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does your husband have to be at a 13 year old's birthday party? My son turned 10 this year, and barely spoke to either DH or I at this party with his friends.

For my DD's 13th birthday party, she asked if her dad and I could hang out in the car, instead of at the venue. I know kids are different, but I agree with others that if your son wants his dad to be there, arrange the cake cutting at a time when dad can be there, otherwise mom hosts the party, dad watches his game, kids have fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why, if you are old enough to have fathered a 13 year old, you can't be mature enough to deal with missing your alma mater's homecoming for a year.

I feel just the opposite. I don't think birthdays are a national holiday and I don't think as parents we have to give up everything g for our kids.

This is a situation where you can make everything work. Go out to dinner, do cake and presents on the birthday then pick a weekend for the party. No real need for both parents to be there but if that's what you want then find a mutually agreeable date. Mom hasn't even checked dates yet - just says it might not work because of sports schedule so Dad should do a date she wants. Another alternative is skip the sleepover and do it another time to give you more flexibility.

I hear you. But I think if your 13 year old is upset (which OP has said), Dad needs to get over it and skip Homecoming this year. If it were Dad's reunion or something else that also occurs infrequently, is feel differently. But OP said that Dad hadn't even bought tickets yet - so it can't be that high a priority.

Wrong. As I just stated in the post above, I don’t buy tickets in advance for college football games (I’ve gone to my own school’s, a large SEC school). When you buy tickets in advance they’re pretty expensive-sometimes close to or over $100. If you wait, you can ALWAYS find people selling them the day of he game, usually for half of that price or even less if you get lucky. If this is the husband’s plan, he’s actually being financially prudent.

What SEC game is that cheap?

We were at ND a few weeks ago and some tickets were being sold on stubhub-like sites for $1100! Much better to show up especially if you don't have to sit with a particular group. There are always people who can't go at the last minute and will sell trying to recoup some of their money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why, if you are old enough to have fathered a 13 year old, you can't be mature enough to deal with missing your alma mater's homecoming for a year.

I feel just the opposite. I don't think birthdays are a national holiday and I don't think as parents we have to give up everything g for our kids.

This is a situation where you can make everything work. Go out to dinner, do cake and presents on the birthday then pick a weekend for the party. No real need for both parents to be there but if that's what you want then find a mutually agreeable date. Mom hasn't even checked dates yet - just says it might not work because of sports schedule so Dad should do a date she wants. Another alternative is skip the sleepover and do it another time to give you more flexibility.

I hear you. But I think if your 13 year old is upset (which OP has said), Dad needs to get over it and skip Homecoming this year. If it were Dad's reunion or something else that also occurs infrequently, is feel differently. But OP said that Dad hadn't even bought tickets yet - so it can't be that high a priority.

Wrong. As I just stated in the post above, I don’t buy tickets in advance for college football games (I’ve gone to my own school’s, a large SEC school). When you buy tickets in advance they’re pretty expensive-sometimes close to or over $100. If you wait, you can ALWAYS find people selling them the day of he game, usually for half of that price or even less if you get lucky. If this is the husband’s plan, he’s actually being financially prudent.

What SEC game is that cheap?

We were at ND a few weeks ago and some tickets were being sold on stubhub-like sites for $1100! Much better to show up especially if you don't have to sit with a particular group. There are always people who can't go at the last minute and will sell trying to recoup some of their money.

We go all the time. You can usually get super cheap tickets game day. Especially if you wait till after kick off. We’ve been to six games this season. We saw Bama play last week. Great seats. We paid $10. It depends a lot on the teams, the season, and the stadium. If you know a lot about SEC football, it’s not hard to figure out. We live near Oxford right now and can get tickets to most Ole Miss games - shocking, I know, haha! But they play some great teams this season. The Egg Bowl is the exception. You have to buy those super early.

We were in Athens a few weeks ago and went to a Georgia game. The tickets were a little more expensive and not as good. I think we paid $40 for each ticket. We bought them game day. Still not bad and we had a blast. This may be a great season for dem Dawgs!

[Anonymous]

Letter to the Husband: Guess what? Having kids is inconvenient. Sometimes you have to change what you want to do to do things for them. It is what you signed up for when you ejaculated inside your lady. Don't worry it doesn't last forever. Also, Go listen to "Cat's in the Cradle". Also, get over college. You are the weird old guys in the parking lot now.

[Anonymous]

I have lost a year of my life reading about birthday parties on this forum.

[Anonymous]

Your husband is a jackass.
- signed, wife of guy obsessed with his college football team

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So your husband is the kicker for the university football team?

Didn't think so.

Of course his kid's birthday party trumps him sitting around on his ass drinking beer and watching football.

That is what DVRs are for.

This. Your husband sounds like a brat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is a jackass.
- signed, wife of guy obsessed with his college football team

+2

My DH loves his Longhorns, but this would never even be a question for him. Seriously.

[Anonymous]

Is your husband IN college and ON the football team? If not, I fail to understand the problem. How could watching sportsball be more important to him than his son? His priorities are pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why both parents have to be there for a 13 yr old sleepover.

I don't either. 13 is a little old for the dad to need to be there for cake cutting. Let him enjoy his homecoming game! You and grandma could even FaceTime with him during the cake cutting if that's what it takes.

No no no no no no. Do not enable your husband's petulance/selfishness. If a woman had an important (to her) event that coincided with her kids birthday, society would be willing to burn her at the stake.

[Anonymous]

Can you do two celebrations?

We've had cases like this where we've had to do a friend celebration almost a month after the real birthday because of soccer.

We always try to do something special on the actual day, even if it's very small like just eating a meal out or grabbing dessert out as a family. Or having just 1 friend over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your husband IN college and ON the football team? If not, I fail to understand the problem. How could watching sportsball be more important to him than his son? His priorities are pathetic.

Why does he have to choose? Just pick a different day for the party. I don't get this AT ALL. Why does the soccer team's availability/preferences matter but not the husband's?