Is it tough for nova kids to make friends at Ivys?

[Anonymous]

I know there are strivers from all over the world at the Ivys, but I heard the largest, most social bunches are NE, NYC, California private school kids that sort of know each other going in, making it a challenge for unconnected random kids. My colleague's daughter went to Brown because she wanted to start fresh, but then transferred to UVA because she struggled to make good bonds. In retrospect she preferred knowing a lot of people on campus. Wondering if that's a common complaint.

[Anonymous]

"UNconnected random kids?"
Come on. These are big schools with students from all over. More than half of the class comes from public schools. You find your tribe. It may not happen immediately, but for the most part kids figure out their group of friends with similar interests. I would venture to say that your sample size of one may have had her own issues with making connections on her own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know there are strivers from all over the world at the Ivys, but I heard the largest, most social bunches are NE, NYC, California private school kids that sort of know each other going in, making it a challenge for unconnected random kids. My colleague's daughter went to Brown because she wanted to start fresh, but then transferred to UVA because she struggled to make good bonds. In retrospect she preferred knowing a lot of people on campus. Wondering if that's a common complaint.

I don't think it's a common complaint. If you look at the stats for entering freshmen at the Ivies, a very high percentage graduate and do so in four years.

It might be a bit more of an issue at Brown than at other Ivies, given its reputation for having an especially well-heeled student body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"UNconnected random kids?"
Come on. These are big schools with students from all over. More than half of the class comes from public schools. You find your tribe. It may not happen immediately, but for the most part kids figure out their group of friends with similar interests. I would venture to say that your sample size of one may have had her own issues with making connections on her own.

I do know a kid at DS's high school in FCPS who got into Brown and decided to go to UVA after attending an event for DC-area admitted students. He didn't click with the other prospective students and decided he'd be happier at UVA. But I'm sure he'd have made friends at Brown as well.

[Anonymous]

Well, my niece from a public high school in Wisconsin just started at Brown this year and from the looks of it (and from what my sister tells me) she's had very few problems finding people to hang out with or fitting in at all. True she might not be hanging out with the trust fund kids from NYC or LA but keep in mind the majority of kids at Brown (60%) came from public high schools and 44% of kids get financial aid so I think your whole premise is pretty inaccurate.

And fwiw, my niece is very nice and smart (obviously) but also not exactly the kind of kid anyone's going to look at and call super outgoing or anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, my niece from a public high school in Wisconsin just started at Brown this year and from the looks of it (and from what my sister tells me) she's had very few problems finding people to hang out with or fitting in at all. True she might not be hanging out with the trust fund kids from NYC or LA but keep in mind the majority of kids at Brown (60%) came from public high schools and 44% of kids get financial aid so I think your whole premise is pretty inaccurate.

And fwiw, my niece is very nice and smart (obviously) but also not exactly the kind of kid anyone's going to look at and call super outgoing or anything.

^^ This.

The OP is the usual UVA cheerleader who has a hang up about Ivy League colleges. Seen it here before its so boring.

[Anonymous]

It's hard for everybody to make friends at Ivies. I just toured Yale with my son and one of the first things I noticed was that almost everyone was alone. Walking alone, eating alone, studying alone. In the 2.5 hours I was on campus, I saw literally only three groups of friends. It was strange, and kind of disheartening.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the student. I went from a tiny SLAC in california to Harvard Law School. I had a great time and met all sorts of friends at Harvard.

[Anonymous]

NOVA kids aren't that different from the mid Atlantic kids. Other than the occasional use of the word Y'all, and a tolerance of crappy pizza, they are just about the same. Come on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's hard for everybody to make friends at Ivies. I just toured Yale with my son and one of the first things I noticed was that almost everyone was alone. Walking alone, eating alone, studying alone. In the 2.5 hours I was on campus, I saw literally only three groups of friends. It was strange, and kind of disheartening.

I'm an introvert, and I found it pretty easy. I got in to a school filled with people like me. Nothing is that different today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know there are strivers from all over the world at the Ivys, but I heard the largest, most social bunches are NE, NYC, California private school kids that sort of know each other going in, making it a challenge for unconnected random kids. My colleague's daughter went to Brown because she wanted to start fresh, but then transferred to UVA because she struggled to make good bonds. In retrospect she preferred knowing a lot of people on campus. Wondering if that's a common complaint.

y

UVA is full of preppy white kids - would have thought it much harder to fit in at UVA than Brown.

[Anonymous]

I could see how "strivers" and "unconnected random kids" would not necessarily form strong bonds in college, but you are taking one girl's experience at one school and applying it to all Ivies?

No, not in my kids' experience. The Ivies they attend take kids from all over (as does Brown) and their friend groups are equally diverse in terms of public and private school alums and kids from all over the country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know there are strivers from all over the world at the Ivys, but I heard the largest, most social bunches are NE, NYC, California private school kids that sort of know each other going in, making it a challenge for unconnected random kids. My colleague's daughter went to Brown because she wanted to start fresh, but then transferred to UVA because she struggled to make good bonds. In retrospect she preferred knowing a lot of people on campus. Wondering if that's a common complaint.

UVA (and Georgetown) are the schools where rich ambitious white kids who could not make it to the ivies go. They tend to be even more elitist and preppy than the ivies, but without the talent to back it up. Would imagine it is harder to make friends there than the ivies.

[Anonymous]

^^ Nova kids at UVA and GTOWN don't really need to make new friends, as they know dozens if not hundreds the second they step on campus. Where as at a small Ivy they may not know anyone.

[Anonymous]

No. I'd say it's more schools like Trinity, Colby, Kenyon, etc. where it'd be harder for an unconnected, not uber-rich kid to find their people.

Remember, financial aid students are the majority at Harvard, Yale, Princeton, and Dartmouth. And they represent between 44 and 48% at the rest of the Ivies. And students coming from public high schools are in the majority at every Ivy League university.