Girls in my daughter's GS troop are so rude

[Anonymous]

They've been together since Daisies and are now first year Cadettes. I've been one of the leaders since that time. They are rude to each other and rude to me. Still, my daughter enjoys camping and other aspects of GS and doesn't want to quit. I've had no success finding another troop. Has anybody done Juliettes and is that worthwhile? I have a co-leader but she is not at all concerned about whether the girls are nice to each other as she would like her daughter to be able to put this on her college application.

[Anonymous]

When my daughter was in scouts, I always appreciated how much our leaders put into making the girls be mannerly and respectful. Most of the girls were fine, but some of them needed a lot of guidance. Maybe it's not too late for your troop, if you try and get some parents involved in teaching and emphasizing respectful treatment and manners. Institute some new rules. (Of course, if the girls are so rude, it's probably because of their parents, so good luck.)

[Anonymous]

My neighbor complains about the same thing!! Some of the girls sound terrible. No good advice because as the PP says, if the girls are rude, it's likely the parents are also?

[Anonymous]

I think it's just this area. We have the same problem at ds' Boy Scout troop. It's hard, because we insist that ds be polite and respectful to adults, but other adults (including teachers!) don't, and he slips into bad habit that we then have to correct (wash/repeat). He has friends that are good kids, but their manners toward adults are terrible. It's frustrating. When I go back to where I'm from, I'm always astounded by how polite the kids are.

[Anonymous]

It depends. Tweens can be really sarcastic to each other and insulting toward each other, and they love it most of the time. If they start being disrespectful to adults, you have to take action.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the responses. At least I'm not alone. The behavior is so bad, it's not as though they just forget their manners. Their rudeness is in your face. For example, I'll greet them and they'll just stare at me and then turn their backs and start talking to each other or return to texting. None of them can compromise on anything. The other parents are mostly uninvolved, or where they are, they don't seem to feel it's a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It depends. Tweens can be really sarcastic to each other and insulting toward each other, and they love it most of the time. If they start being disrespectful to adults, you have to take action.

OP here. Some of the girls get shunned and that is a problem for me. However, my co-leader does not support me trying to discuss respect and getting them all together, not to be friends really, but to work as a team to do some good projects. So I feel like it's a waste of my time. Unfortunately, my daughter still holds out hope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the responses. At least I'm not alone. The behavior is so bad, it's not as though they just forget their manners. Their rudeness is in your face. For example, I'll greet them and they'll just stare at me and then turn their backs and start talking to each other or return to texting. None of them can compromise on anything. The other parents are mostly uninvolved, or where they are, they don't seem to feel it's a problem.

Sounds like it's time to have a group discussion on manners.

[Anonymous]

I couldn't handle that every week. Find another troop. You're volunteering your time, you don't deserve to be treated like that by children!

[Anonymous]

Get an outside GS resource from the council to come in and lead a discussion on especially (respect for myself and others) and work on the happiness badge.... address this and they will be grateful. If you are feeling it, so are they.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It depends. Tweens can be really sarcastic to each other and insulting toward each other, and they love it most of the time. If they start being disrespectful to adults, you have to take action.

OP here. Some of the girls get shunned and that is a problem for me. However, my co-leader does not support me trying to discuss respect and getting them all together, not to be friends really, but to work as a team to do some good projects. So I feel like it's a waste of my time. Unfortunately, my daughter still holds out hope.

Shunning is not allowed. Your co-leader doesn't have to support you. Just go ahead and make your speeches, pair up kids, etc. Seize the opportunity.

[Anonymous]

My daughter left girl scouts because it was so cliquey. Both the girls and their moms. They were so mean to my daughter and would not even say hello to her at the meetings. To add insult to the injury, the leader told us she is stepping down last year and the troop would dissolve but I just learned it is still going on with the same leader and only kids that were invited to.come back. I can't stand to look at these women who would pity me and my daughter while playing nice to my face. My daughter has slight special needs and I can't help but think that this had so.ethinf to do with it. Worst part about it, the girl scout council doesn't get involved with these types of issues. They just want to.collect the $$$. Biggest scam ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter left girl scouts because it was so cliquey. Both the girls and their moms. They were so mean to my daughter and would not even say hello to her at the meetings. To add insult to the injury, the leader told us she is stepping down last year and the troop would dissolve but I just learned it is still going on with the same leader and only kids that were invited to.come back. I can't stand to look at these women who would pity me and my daughter while playing nice to my face. My daughter has slight special needs and I can't help but think that this had so.ethinf to do with it. Worst part about it, the girl scout council doesn't get involved with these types of issues. They just want to.collect the $$$. Biggest scam ever.

Terrible. Is there a regional organization you can report this "fake shut down" to?

[Anonymous]

PP, that troop leader is definitely in violation of GS rules and the agreement she signed as troop leader. You could report her to the GSCNC (local council)--I don't know if they would close down a troop over this or what they would do. It's totally contrary to GS spirit. I'm a leader and it's very hard to get the pre-teens to be respectful....but I don't put up with the mean girl crap. If I hear them saying things that are unkind or disrespectful to each other, I remind them of the GS law, which they all studied as daisies. I also work hard to assign teams and such randomly to break up the cliques.
Most leaders do work hard at this stuff...maybe you can find a better troop?

[Anonymous]

I was GS leader for a year. It was awful. The parents blew. The kids were rude. Worst. Decision. Ever. I ended the year and quit. It was horrible. My hat is off to anyone who participates as a volunteer in GS. I absolutely couldn't hack it.