Girls in my daughter's GS troop are so rude

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:2017, folks. This was a thread from 2017

No need to keep discussing because girls aren’t rude anymore. Impeccable manners, the kids of 2021.

[Anonymous]

That's why I pulled my DD from GS. I couldn't stand the rudeness. Parents didn't do anything. I didn't want DD to be around them, I dreaded trips and get togethers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the responses. At least I'm not alone. The behavior is so bad, it's not as though they just forget their manners. Their rudeness is in your face. For example, I'll greet them and they'll just stare at me and then turn their backs and start talking to each other or return to texting. None of them can compromise on anything. The other parents are mostly uninvolved, or where they are, they don't seem to feel it's a problem.

Wow.

Can you address the group on this topic? I’m not sure if it will make it worse, but maybe come up with a little “talk” you can give them and give specific examples of rudeness you’ve received. They will talk behind your back, but whatever. We shouldn’t be “scared” of teen girls.

[Anonymous]

She's in highschool? They can still put it on their application, so I wouldn't worry about co-leaders daughter. As for yours, if the camping is what she likes, maybe she can do girl scout camps instead? My ex stepmother didn't get along with my Troup growing up, she didn't get along with many people though. She pulled me out but I was happy to go away for camp. Of course, your daughter would probably be at the Jr counselor age or do adventure camps like canoe trips.

You sound nice for devoting your time to them for so many years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the responses. At least I'm not alone. The behavior is so bad, it's not as though they just forget their manners. Their rudeness is in your face. For example, I'll greet them and they'll just stare at me and then turn their backs and start talking to each other or return to texting. None of them can compromise on anything. The other parents are mostly uninvolved, or where they are, they don't seem to feel it's a problem.

Wow.

Can you address the group on this topic? I’m not sure if it will make it worse, but maybe come up with a little “talk” you can give them and give specific examples of rudeness you’ve received. They will talk behind your back, but whatever. We shouldn’t be “scared” of teen girls.

Wow... can you read??

THIS POST IS FROM 2017... pretty sure you're just talking to yourself now.

This post was dredged up by a little bored child who had nothing better to do that search ", girl scouts" on DCUM.

EVERYONE, please stop responding. 🤦‍♀️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Forcing girls to be friends doesn't work. Basically what Scouts is.

It’s learning to work together with people you didn’t choose. Basically, it’s preparing them for adulthood. Of course they’ll need guidance as they learn. If they also become friends, that’s a bonus. Just like adult life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Forcing girls to be friends doesn't work. Basically what Scouts is.

It’s learning to work together with people you didn’t choose. Basically, it’s preparing them for adulthood. Of course they’ll need guidance as they learn. If they also become friends, that’s a bonus. Just like adult life.

Sorry, didn’t read to the end of the (super-old) thread before responding. Oh well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, that troop leader is definitely in violation of GS rules and the agreement she signed as troop leader. You could report her to the GSCNC (local council)--I don't know if they would close down a troop over this or what they would do. It's totally contrary to GS spirit. I'm a leader and it's very hard to get the pre-teens to be respectful....but I don't put up with the mean girl crap. If I hear them saying things that are unkind or disrespectful to each other, I remind them of the GS law, which they all studied as daisies. I also work hard to assign teams and such randomly to break up the cliques.
Most leaders do work hard at this stuff...maybe you can find a better troop?

+1. From another GS leader. It is hard at this age and I had a troop basically fall apart because the girls chose clique behavior over the troop. With my younger daughter’s troop, I am really stressing the GS law as part of everything we do and telling the girls the most important thing to me is that they treat each other as sisters (meaning they don’t always agree, aren’t always going to be besties, but they are always going to have each others’ back at the end of the day). You really have to set the tone that GS is not just another social gathering. If you can’t at least try to be considerate and kind, respect yourself and others, etc. it’s not GS.
Maybe there is an older troop in the service unit that can lead a meeting or badge on a related topic? The teen girls that stick with GS are well aware of this dynamic and are probably nest situated to figure out the best way to get it back on track. I think 4th-6th grade are the criticism heard where you either cross that bridge or you don’t. They are testing social limits now.

[Anonymous]

My child did GS for one year when we lived in NOVA. I called it the Catty Club. The troop leader and a small cabal of cool moms made it an utterly miserable year. Their daughters were little jerks, their mothers only in smaller bodies. It wasn't the worth the mental abuse for the privilege of making another macaroni necklace. My DD said she didn't want to do it anymore, and I said that's just fine. Her younger sister was never interested, and I never pushed it and she did science club instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child did GS for one year when we lived in NOVA. I called it the Catty Club. The troop leader and a small cabal of cool moms made it an utterly miserable year. Their daughters were little jerks, their mothers only in smaller bodies. It wasn't the worth the mental abuse for the privilege of making another macaroni necklace. My DD said she didn't want to do it anymore, and I said that's just fine. Her younger sister was never interested, and I never pushed it and she did science club instead.

I love this description..."catty club"..."cabal of cool moms"..."their mothers only in smaller bodies." Nailed it. This sentence was perfect too. "It wasn't worth the mental abuse for the privilege of making another macaroni necklace." Some moms are great and truly create a communal atmosphere and others just spread the crazy.

I had to laugh when one of the Queen B moms was both livid anbd mortified that the school called her in to talk about her daughter's Queen B behavior. She was all "can you believe they thing MY daughter is catty?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the responses. At least I'm not alone. The behavior is so bad, it's not as though they just forget their manners. Their rudeness is in your face. For example, I'll greet them and they'll just stare at me and then turn their backs and start talking to each other or return to texting. None of them can compromise on anything. The other parents are mostly uninvolved, or where they are, they don't seem to feel it's a problem.

Lower ypur expectations.
You are expecting adult social skills and adult social experience from kids and it's not going to always happen.
I see the same thing with my DD's GS cadette troop and yes, I have seen my own DD weakly mumble hello to adults she knows.
Adults understand to say hi and make pleasant small talk but guess what? Tweens and teens don't do that yet. They certainly don't do it socially yet among themselves either. It's a skill they will learn over the next few years.
So try not to be so offended and I promise you acted the same way towards some adults when you were that age. Even if you want to swear you didn't!

I hope this is a joke. My girls knew how to look adults in the eye and say "hello" and "good bye" and other social niceties around age 6. But, of course, respect and expectations are set at home.

How nice for you that you have neurotypical children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child did GS for one year when we lived in NOVA. I called it the Catty Club. The troop leader and a small cabal of cool moms made it an utterly miserable year. Their daughters were little jerks, their mothers only in smaller bodies. It wasn't the worth the mental abuse for the privilege of making another macaroni necklace. My DD said she didn't want to do it anymore, and I said that's just fine. Her younger sister was never interested, and I never pushed it and she did science club instead.

I love this description..."catty club"..."cabal of cool moms"..."their mothers only in smaller bodies." Nailed it. This sentence was perfect too. "It wasn't worth the mental abuse for the privilege of making another macaroni necklace." Some moms are great and truly create a communal atmosphere and others just spread the crazy.

I had to laugh when one of the Queen B moms was both livid anbd mortified that the school called her in to talk about her daughter's Queen B behavior. She was all "can you believe they thing MY daughter is catty?"

Thanks! Haha about that mom. Shocked -- shocked, I tell you! -- that her own daughter is just like her. Amazing, isn't it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Forcing girls to be friends doesn't work. Basically what Scouts is.

Forcing them to be polite as the price of admission actually does work. They don’t have to be friends, but they have to be polite to everyone in the troop.