Professional woman - belatedly woke!

[Anonymous]

So, if your cousin at Christmas is still suffering false consciousness, there is hope.

Just realised that I am still subject to the assumptions of my fundamentalist upbringing, despite being an apparently modern woman with a profession. Had a major disappointment at work this week that showed me I have prioritised my husband's needs and job over my own. I neglected my priorities in a way that is toxic for both of us and our relationship. Not anymore! Am infuriated with him and myself, but also learning. Just wanted to share, since I assume the sisterhood is active on DCUM!

[Anonymous]

???????????????

[Anonymous]

Take some time and regroup, do quality work at the office and have DH take over his share of household stuff.
If he says he's one of the Supportive Husbands, actions speak louder than clichés.

[Anonymous]

Good for you OP! Now that you have noticed this, you will start to see the pressure on women to do this positively EVERYWHERE- and see how very ingratiated into our culture this is. And- duh! Because our culture and entertainment has been sharpened, for the history of humankind, by men.

It's starting to change but it's really amazing to realize how deep it goes. And once you take those rose colored glasses off- it's amazing how the real world works!

[Anonymous]

Why does everyone want to use the word WOKE suddenly? It's ubiquitous despite being silly and pretentious.

[Anonymous]

http://kjonnsforskning.no/en/2017/09/dad-becomes-leader-mum-becomes-mum

Norway woke up too.

[Anonymous]

OP to PP: the word doesn't have to be magnificent to provide a useful shorthand for those of us without gender studies degrees etc.

Thanks for the support and posts! Went for an angry run and listened to a lot of Beyonce anthems this weekend. Ready for Monday.

[Anonymous]

OP, I have recently come to this conclusion as well. I give everyone else my best and only give the scraps of what's left to myself, in many ways. I would love to hear how you're changing this without throwing your career and marriage out the window or causing major emotional hurt to your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:???????????????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have recently come to this conclusion as well. I give everyone else my best and only give the scraps of what's left to myself, in many ways. I would love to hear how you're changing this without throwing your career and marriage out the window or causing major emotional hurt to your husband.

If her relationship has worked because she prioritizes her husband's needs over own, then a true transformation may necessitate her husband experiences some "emotional hurt."

[Anonymous]

Oh the suffering of being a millennial white woman. Girl please don't use #woke to describe yourself in ANY way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh the suffering of being a millennial white woman. Girl please don't use #woke to describe yourself in ANY way.

B***h please. Your misogynist trolling at this hour of the day and on all the other threads is very obvious. Go whine about how you can't watch women go to the bathroom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have recently come to this conclusion as well. I give everyone else my best and only give the scraps of what's left to myself, in many ways. I would love to hear how you're changing this without throwing your career and marriage out the window or causing major emotional hurt to your husband.

If her relationship has worked because she prioritizes her husband's needs over own, then a true transformation may necessitate her husband experiences some "emotional hurt."

Why? Actually, it would make more sense for her to make him a study of hers, to imitate his self-confidence and his ability to put himself forward and model herself on him. Raising herself up doesn't involve bringing others down, it involves raising herself up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have recently come to this conclusion as well. I give everyone else my best and only give the scraps of what's left to myself, in many ways. I would love to hear how you're changing this without throwing your career and marriage out the window or causing major emotional hurt to your husband.

If her relationship has worked because she prioritizes her husband's needs over own, then a true transformation may necessitate her husband experiences some "emotional hurt."

Why? Actually, it would make more sense for her to make him a study of hers, to imitate his self-confidence and his ability to put himself forward and model herself on him. Raising herself up doesn't involve bringing others down, it involves raising herself up.

OP wrote that she had been prioritizing her husband over her. So raising herself up is going to mean de-prioritizing him. Which he may not like.

[Anonymous]

I have no idea why you are using the verb in the wrong tense, but women placing themselves last is sadly expected in many cultures.

A little selfishness never hurt anyone.
Or, "Put on your own oxygen mask first".
Or, "If Mother isn't happy, nobody's happy".
Etc... pick whichever slogan best fits your personality.