Should I force the issue - overweight teen boy and swim shirt
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Anonymous
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Well, it's vacation seasons. And in two weeks we will be going to the beach.
My oldest son is 16, and has always been fairly large for his age. Over the past year or so he has put on an alarming amount of weight that seems to have gone straight to his gut. Being slightly chubby to begin with, this makes him look quite overweight (as he is) and unattractive, particularly when he isn't wearing a shirt. We are trying to help him lose around 20 pounds, but since this certainly won't happen before our trip, I kindly suggested that we could buy him a nice swimming shirt so he didn't have to be so embarrassed while at the beach, especially since we know that he is fairly insecure about his size right now. Anyway, my problem is that he is not at all interested in this, saying that guys don't wear shirts while swimming and that it would be more embarrassing to him then his big belly. Thing is, I don't think it is appropriate for him to be out there baked from the waist up with his gut all out for anyone and everyone to see. With his shirt off it's just flabby and unappealing, and honestly men's bathing suits are cut in a way that looks great on people who are fit and slender, but are not flattering to those that are larger or less in shape. I don't want to make a big deal about it or create an issue around his weight, but I was wondering if I should just drop it or press the issue. I have already tried to convince him that he would now have a goal - to lose the weight he needs to before next time he will go swimming, but that I don't think he should go topless in public until then, but I am unsure how to convince him of that. |
Anonymous
| Drop it. |
Anonymous
| While I agree that overweight people are disgusting in appearance, I would drop the issue. Making a big deal about things can aggravate manageable problems in a huge way. |
Anonymous
| Drop it, OP. It's your issue, not his. |
Anonymous
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another vote for "drop it".
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Anonymous
| Gee, I wonder why he has such low self-esteem. |
Anonymous
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He's old enough to do as he pleases.
But as a parent, you need to help him about the psylogical part of his food related issue. Dieting is 50%of it and finding out what's causing it 50%. Good luck and have a great vacation 
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Anonymous
Seriously. Your kid isn't eye candy there to please the world. Or you. |
Anonymous
| You've had him bake in the sun shirtless for 16 years, now's not the time to enforce a dress code. But go ahead and be sure to pack ample sunscreen. |
Anonymous
I'm sorry, but this is a horrible way to talk about your own son. Describing him as unattractive and unappealing...that's just so sad. I also feel that unless there's a medical issue involved, you need to take some blame for him being overweight. Healthy habits and lifestyle begin with the parents. I feel sorry for him 
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Anonymous
| He's overeating because you're cruel and judgmental about his body. |
Anonymous
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Force the issue?? Yes, run after him with a staple gun and some duct tape. Get him in that shirt. Or lock him up. Because no fatties on your beach.
Btw you sound like a charming woman. I really hope we can get together and eat Melba toast sometime. Not. Thanks |
Anonymous
| He's not embarrassed about his appearance - you are. Drop it before it becomes a much bigger issue between the two of you. |
Anonymous
+1 and the goal for losing weight shouldn't be to look better but to be more healthy. |
Anonymous
| I hope you're a troll. Because if you're not you're a horrible mother. |