Should I force the issue - overweight teen boy and swim shirt

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's not embarrassed about his appearance - you are. Drop it before it becomes a much bigger issue between the two of you.

I think this goes one further in that he's ashamed because he KNOWS you are so embarrassed by his gut.

Do you think shame has ever worked to help someone lose weight in a healthy manner?

Please examine your own issues surrounding weight and please do your best to protect your child from your damaging thoughts. You may have a fat son for the rest of your life. What kind of relationship do you want with him? One full of love or judgement? Because you can't have it both ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's overeating because you're cruel and judgmental about his body.

This! Geez, I want to cry for your kid!

[Anonymous]

Why not just ask Jeff to delete this?

[Anonymous]

Drop it.

He should feel like he can be out on the beach enjoying a trip no matter what he "looks like" :/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not just ask Jeff to delete this?

I just wish this thread could somehow help that poor boy by helping his mother to see how terrible she is, but I have to assume that someone like her will never really see herself for who she is. This thread is actually making me very sad and concerned for that boy. OP: if you can find your way to it, please just give that boy a hug and let him know how great he is and what a light he is in your life.

[Anonymous]

FTR, my skinny DH wears a rash guard because of a family history of skin cancer.

I do agree to drop it.

If anything you could have approached it years ago from the angle of better sun protection,

[Anonymous]

I understand how you feel, OP. People are mean and you're trying to save your son some of the harsh judgment you know he's going to feel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not just ask Jeff to delete this?

I just wish this thread could somehow help that poor boy by helping his mother to see how terrible she is, but I have to assume that someone like her will never really see herself for who she is. This thread is actually making me very sad and concerned for that boy. OP: if you can find your way to it, please just give that boy a hug and let him know how great he is and what a light he is in your life.

This. Please!!!

[Anonymous]

Troll. But he should wear a rash guard because everyone should wear one. Skin cancer.

[Anonymous]

With all the pain he MIGHT be feeling as he is probably getting the same and worse shaming from his peers it is heartbreaking that the emotional refuge he could get from you is denied and the trust he may have had to ask for help in dealing with this has been broken. I hope his father or another trusted adult loves him for him and is not so blinded by his outward appearance to devalue him the way you have OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand how you feel, OP. People are mean and you're trying to save your son some of the harsh judgment you know he's going to feel.

And she can be sure it's out there, because she's the one shoveling it at him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, your son is no longer at an age (7,8,9) where he needs "kind suggestions" about his body and his clothing. He's 16. If he wanted a "swim shirt" (whatever that is) he would speak up and ask for it or even go out and purchase one for himself.

I don't think your suggestion was kindly meant. I think you need some therapy.

I think a swim shirt is something little kids wear. My husband just wears an old but not ratty t-shirt.

A swim shirt is a "rash guard" it's meant for swimming, many people use them so you don't have reapply sunscreen a thousand times a day. (A regular cotton tshirt would be strange to swim in.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand how you feel, OP. People are mean and you're trying to save your son some of the harsh judgment you know he's going to feel.

He's already feeling harsh judgment from the person who should love him the most. Poor kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand how you feel, OP. People are mean and you're trying to save your son some of the harsh judgment you know he's going to feel.

I'd agree with your sentiment, save for the fact she described her child's body as "unattractive" and "unappealing"!

[Anonymous]

OP, I really can't believe all the hate you're getting for trying to help your son.

I think it's become so politically incorrect to acknowledge that being severely overweight is unhealthy (and unattractive) that people can't handle honest conversations about size.

Go ahead and buy him a rash guard and bring it on the trip. It would also help if you got one for yourself and the rest of the family. Then he can say something like "my mom's really big on sun protection/ avoiding skin cancer" and it becomes a family thing unrelated to his weight.